So my dad died....and I haven't really cried yet...

Friday, August 23, 2013 at 4:17pm my life changed forever. My life changed in a way that I just couldn't ever imagine, in a way that I didn't want to imagine. Let me paint a picture for you.

It's Friday afternoon and I'm at work (if we are being honest, I'm likely NOT working and was catching up on Breaking Bad). My phone rings and I see Lavonia Georgia on my caller ID and I laugh as I pick up my phone. It has to be my dad calling me to complain that something is wrong with his cell phone. Afterall, I don't know anyone from Lavonia. I press pause on whatever I'm watching and answer my phone with the chipper "Hello" that I reserve for telephone use only.

"Is this Jenny Georgiopoulos," the voice who isn't my father asks me.
"Yes it is, can I help you," I ask thinking that its probably a distributor or sales rep that messed up the extensions again and called my cell phone instead of my desk. I'm annoyed now because who the heck calls you for work related stuff at 4:17pm on a Friday?
"This is Lt. Henderson out in Lavonia Georgia," at this point my mind races. OMG. My dad did something stupid and got arrested. Who could piss off my dad. He's such a laid back character. "There has been a medical emergency with your father and he's been transported to a hospital in South Carolina."
"Are you fucking kidding me," were the first words to tumble out of my mouth in typical Jenny style. "What kind of medical emergency? Is he okay?"
"Your father had a medical emergency and lost consciousness. His heart had stopped but we performed CPR and your dad is on the way to AnMed in South Carolina. Would you like the telephone number there?"
I nodded my head not realizing that Lt. Henderson couldn't see me. I said yes and took down all the information.
At this point my mind is racing. I don't have a passport, well, I do but its expired. It's Friday and now 4:30pm how the hell am I going to get a passport to get to South Carolina to be with my dad? My sister can't go because she just had a baby a few days ago...and her passport is expired...and my mom can't go by herself. Oh my god, my mom. I can't tell my mom. She's a poster child for a stroke. She'll stroke out on me.
"Thanks for the information Lt. Henderson, please, don't call my mom. I'll handle it," I said to him as I had already opened Google on my computer and was looking up how to get a passport issued.
"Jenny, your mom is the one who gave me your telephone number."
"C'mon?! Seriously? You called her first?"  Now I wasn't just worried about my father but about my mother because, well you know, she over reacts to everything.

I hang up with him and call AnMed right away. I managed to call them before my father even got there. I spoke to 4 nurses before I finally get ahold of one who would be taking care of my father. I demand to know if he's conscious or not. He's not. I feel my heart drop instantly. I've been down this road before with my mother in law. Heart stopped and unconsciousness means coma. My father was going to be in a coma no matter what anyone told me. I'm not a medical novice. I've watched enough Grey's and ER to know what happens next and I lived through this entire experience 5 years prior.

I hang up the phone with the nurse and yell out to my co-worker who at this point has no idea what has happened because I've managed to remain calm. I haven't cried, screamed, yelled, or thrown anything. I'm just numb and going through the motions.

"Ernesto, you need to find out how I can get to South Carolina tonight or tomorrow morning with no passport. My dad had a heart attack and I don't have a fucking valid passport." This is the moment I broke. This is the moment I started to cry and my co-worker had to hug me and calm me down. He went to his office to find out what can be done. He would call US border patrol and Passport Canada. I had to call my mom, but first my husband.

"George... you need to go get Demi from my mom right now. It's not a good place for Demi to be right now.  My dad had a heart attack and isn't conscious right now. I need to get a passport and get to South Carolina. I need you to go get Demi do you understand?"

He threw a barrage of questions my way and I fielded them the best way I knew how. I hung up the phone with him and called my sister. I told her she had to go to my mom's house right away. Mom needed support and I couldn't give it to her because I was just about to become the bitch of the family to get everything done.

I finally called my mom. As soon as she answered the phone I heard her crying and my daughter screaming in the background. I tried to reassure my mom that everything was okay and everything would be okay. I asked her if she had a passport and she said yes. I told her I was working on getting mine and we'd go to South Carolina and take care of dad together. Together we'd bring him home. I explained everything that Lt. Henderson told me as well as what the nurse in the ER told me. I said that everything was "normal" given the situation. I knew that my dad passed out, someone saw him and started CPR while someone else called 9-1-1. I knew that they put the machine on him and the machine told them to shock my dad once. They did. I knew that while in the ambulance they administered a shot of adrenaline directly to his heart. That was when he regained consciousness. That was when they made the decision of taking him to the bigger hospital in South Carolina than the smaller one in Lavonia. A cold feeling washed over me. Things weren't going to be okay. I just know it. I trust my gut, it's never led me astray.

Between Ernesto and myself we managed to find an emergency passport number. They were going to open the passport office just for me for the low low price of $500.00, but I had to go to Ottawa. It's 2 hours away. I still needed to get my expired passport, new passport pictures, and a completed passport application. Oddly enough, I had it all on me minus the passport pictures (I was waiting to get my hair blown out and THEN go take the passport pictures). I show up at my mom's house. I hug her and tell her everything will be okay. I call the doctor numerous times letting him know that we would be there tomorrow morning. I gave my cell number, my sister's cell number, my parents home number but insisted that I be their first line of defense. Call me. Don't call them. Call me. I'm the level headed one.

My best friend shows up at my mom's house. She drives me to Ottawa. I must have called the hospital numerous times that night. My dad had the sweetest nurse in the Coronary Care Unit. Her name was Janet and Janet was soothing. I asked her how my dad looked, how things were going, how many days should I pack for? Were we looking at a few days or a few weeks? She told me to pack for a couple of weeks.

I finish with my passport. Come home and pack, and go to my mom's house. While driving to Ottawa Nicole's husband booked the plane tickets for my mother and myself. I ended up scheduling play dates for my daughter and making sure she was well taken care of as well as informing my boss that I was leaving and had no idea when I'd be back. Lucky for me, I won the boss lottery of the life time. He was okay with me leaving and told me to call him if I needed anything.

I go to sleep at 3am and am up at 5am for a 7am flight. We check in. We board. We talk. I finally tell my mom that we might be there for a couple of weeks. Dad would probably need some sort of rehabilitation and that could take a while. Once he's okay to leave the hospital Canada would be better for the rehab part. We need to get special permission to transport him. I don't want him flying. I will drive across the country...it wouldn't be the first time.

As the plane is landing my mom tells me she heard that the Carolina's have nice beaches and she'd like to go to one once my dad is okay. I tell her its not a problem. My brain tells me that my dad isn't coming home with us. I want to cry because I'm thinking negatively. I need to think good thoughts. I need to send my dad the most positive thoughts and strength. I need to make this okay.

We exit the terminal and find the nearest Avis counter. I get a car and put the hospital address in the GPS. We get to the hospital and march straight to the front desk asking how to get to the CCU. She tells us. We get up there and walk into my dad's room. That wasn't my dad. I've never seen my dad with tubes in him. I've never seen my dad look...so peaceful? I instantly tear up. I start to cry. I don't want to see my dad like this. My dad is the strongest person I know. My mom breaks down. The day nurse comes to see us and explains everything that has happened and what procedures the hospital has taken. We are told that my dad is under heavy sedation because they have lowered his body temperature a lot in order to preserve brain function. They would start warming him up after being at their desired temperature for 24 hours. We understand and we just sit in the room and watch.

I have no idea how many phone calls we made to Montreal and Ottawa to keep our family in the loop. I must have gotten 100 Facebook messages from friends from Texas as well as the people I've met across the global. Funny but when you aren't in a situation like this the words "We'll be praying for you" or "He's in our thoughts" don't mean much to you. It actually sounds funny. When you are in this type of situation those words are like a warm blanket comforting you.

My mom went outside to smoke and I got up and sat next to my dad. I started talking to him and I told him I was sorry for what he was going through. I was sorry that this happened while he was alone in South Carolina. I was sorry it took me so long to get here. At that exact moment I knew that my dad wasn't coming home with us. I had felt it from the night before but at that exact moment it was a matter of fact. Looking at my dad in a hospital bed hooked up to monitors, with a feed tube, and oxygen I knew that my dad wasn't leaving South Carolina the way my mom and I imagined he'd be leaving.

My mom kept talking to my dad and I told her that was a good thing. He could hear us and to make sure that any words she said aloud were positive and uplifting. My dad didn't need to hear bad things. She kept telling me, "I'm not afraid that he's going to die here. I know he isn't going to die. I'm afraid of the condition he'll leave here. Will he have brain damage and how much?" My heart broke for my mom. I felt like a double agent, a traitor if you will. One one hand I'm telling my mom to only think good things but then I'd convinced myself my dad was dying.

The 24 hours passed and they started to warm up my dad. His body temperature was rising on its own and that was a good thing. They made us go home. The next day we came to the hospital and my dad was at a toast 98.7 degrees and his color was back. They had even shaved him and brushed his hair. He looked good and he started opening his eyes. The nurses and doctors told us this was normal. They had started to decrease the sedation medications. It could take 48-72 hours to see real results but in the mean time they would do another CT scan of his head as well as an EEG.

My  noticed that my father would open his eyes and always look up and down. I went up to him and told him, "Hey daddy, podiko (his nickname for me) is here. Mommy and I are here for you so take your time...we'll wait." My dad opened his eyes and looked left to right as if he was looking for me and my mom. I smiled and started to tear because in my head my dad knew we were there. He knew he wasn't alone in a strange place.  Later on the same day I went to talk to my dad and the strangest thing happened. He lifted his shoulder off the bed as if he was trying to get up or lean forward. It was the weirdest thing and I'm happy my mom and nurse were there to see it otherwise they'd think it was wishful thinking.

Visiting hours were over for a bit while the nurses changed shifts and updated the next nurse as to what had happened and what was happening. Not only that but they were taking my dad for his CT scan. When we returned to the hospital my dad's eyes were wide open but just staring up at the ceiling. That was exactly what had happened with my mother in law before we got the news we had to pull the plug. All the progress I was convinced we had made was just ripped from me.

The head neurologist came to speak with my mom and me about the situation. He told us that we did have some time to wait but that we should consider our options regarding my dad. My mom broke. I asked questions about how much neurological function my dad had, what physical tests had they done on him. Had they run a pencil hard down his foot to see if his toes curl upwards or downwards? How was his pupil dilation? What made the doctor think we had to consider our options NOW when they told us we had 48-72 hours?

At this point I had to leave the hospital to take a driver to my father's 18 wheeler to have it driven back to Montreal. While I was gone a nurse spoke out of place, in my opinion, to my mother. My mom had asked the nurse what she thought. In my opinion the nurse should have just stated the facts and told my mom to direct her questions to the resident. Not this nurse. She told my mother that things don't look good and that she needs to make a decision about taking off the life support. When I got back to the hospital my mom was ballistic. I was furious. I wanted to rip the head off of the nurse and feed it to her grandchildren. I just took my mom and left the hospital. I told my mom to go into the hotel room and I was going to call George to talk to both him and Demi.

As soon as George answered the phone I broke down. I told him that my dad was dying. I told him my dad was leaving South Carolina in a box instead of in a seat on a plane or a car. I lost my mind and started hyperventilating. I composed myself and went into the hotel room and told my mom that the nurse had no right to give a diagnosis and that the doctors specifically asked us to  give them time. Don't take that time away from dad and don't give up hope. We then spent some time thinking about IF we had to take off life support would we? My mom called some of my dad's family and we all made a joint decision. My mom felt a lot of guilt and I reminded her of a conversation we had as a family when I lost my mother in law. My husband and his brother were fighting regarding pulling their mother off of life support. I never wanted to have that fight with my sister.

I'll never forget that day. We were on a 3 way telephone call with my parents in Texas, my sister in St. Dorthee, and me in Laval. I asked my parents what they wanted and I wanted my sister to hear. My dad said that he'd never want to be kept alive by machines and if he ever got to that point we needed to let him go. My mom agreed. We all remember that conversation. However, my mom wasn't thinking logically. I told her over and over again, we have time. The doctors said 72 hours, this is all hypothetical but to think LOGICALLY and not emotionally. I knew what my father wanted and I was lucky enough that when we came into the hospital the first day they asked who had medical power of attorney and my mom said me. I would never want to over ride my mom but I would never disrespect my father's wishes.

My mom closed her eyes for a few minutes and woke up screaming. "Jenny, Jenny, daddy just said bye to me. I just saw him waving at me....he's gone!" I blasted my mom. I told her that shes thinking negatively and that the stupid nurse put ideas into her head and her mind is seeing things. I told my mom to go to sleep and tomorrow was a new day. What I said and what I thought were two completely different things. My mind thought, "Of course he'd tell her bye. He lived for this lady."

My mom woke up before me and went to get a coffee and smoke. I used that time to call a couple of my cousins. My cousin George was debating coming to South Carolina. I told him if he wanted to see his uncle alive he'd have to come today because my dad wasn't leaving. My heart was heavy and broken.

We went to the hospital and they were starting the EEG. They asked us to leave the room while they did this. My mom went out to smoke. I went to the cafeteria. I got a call from my sister telling me that the neurologist wanted to see us. I went upstairs alone since my mom was outside. The neurologist said he wanted us both. I asked him to tell me what was up. Did they have results from the EEG. He insisted on speaking to me with my mom present. I called my mom. She came upstairs.

The doctor showed us my father's CT scan from when he was brought in on Friday and the one they had done on Sunday. The CT scan was just a big gray blob. My father was brain damaged, in fact, he was brain dead. He had no way of coming out of this and they wanted us to take our time but we had to make a decision. Although my mom understood everything I had to translate it to Greek for her. She broke down. We went downstairs solemnly since they were still doing a needless EEG. You know what killed me? The sound of my sister's scream when I told her that our beloved daddy was brain dead. I was cold and empty. My mom couldn't believe it. She called her family in Greece. I called our family in Montreal.

I had to find a Greek priest in South Carolina to read my father his last rites. I had to leave to go to the airport to pick up my cousin. I would not allow the life support to be pulled without having his rites read. I asked questions regarding how long it would take for my father to pass away without life support. The nurse told me that since my father was barely breathing on his own that it would be a short few hours. I liked that. I like the fact that it would be quick and painless versus long and drawn out. I never want my dad to suffer.

I took my mom to the hotel to make her calls while I went to get my cousin. My cousin and I talked a lot and he said he wanted to see my dad before he gave his opinion on life support or not. When he saw my dad he said he couldn't believe that was my father. We decided to call the priest again and again. We went back to the hotel at 11pm and my mom just couldn't keep it together.

The next morning I felt like I was on death row walking to the death chamber. The walk down the hallway...the nurses sad smiles... the priest showed up. He read the prayers in both Greek and English and offered a lot of comfort to my mom. We told the nurses we were ready. They started to disconnect the machines.

They took the machines off of my dad at 11:35am. We stayed with dad the whole time. I couldn't take my eyes off of my father. With each deep breath he took I watched him to see if it would be his last. My heart would stop with each of his breaths. He'd hold them for so long that I thought each breath was his last but he'd exhale. I then yelled out to the nurse, "Why does it look like he's about to cry?" and then my dad took his last breath. 12:40pm on August 27th. But he cried. When he let out his last breath a single tear from each eye fell down his cheek. I freaked out asking  the nurse and chaplain what just happened. The nurse grabbed my hand and told me, "We believe that when you see the face of Christ you cry...."

I cried a little. I had tears down my face but I was numb. Oddly, I was comforted in knowing that my dad was in a better place but I was so worried about my mom that I couldn't cry too much.

It's been over 2 months and I still haven't cried the way I feel I should cry. I cry in the shower, I cry while driving, and of course I cried while writing this....but I haven't had a good cry. The type of cry my mom and sister have had, the type of cry my dad's siblings have had. I wonder if I am wired wrong and why I can't cry for my dad and it drives me crazy. It makes me question if that is why my dad hasn't come to me yet.

Since he's passed away my mom and sister have seen him. My daughter has complete conversations with him but my dad eludes me. He doesn't come to me in my sleep, he doesn't come to me in daydreams, I don't feel a sudden warmth and know my dad is hugging me. My dad died two months ago and I haven't really cried yet...and i wonder if he's mad at me and that is why he isn't visiting me.

Well Daddy, I love you and I miss you. Thank you for being the perfect example of what a father, husband, and man should be. I've compared every man in the world to you and will continue to do so. Love, Podikaki.

More bad food - Seriously

It seems I have a knack for choosing crappy places to eat. A few months ago I wrote about a dining experience gone way way wrong.. A little update to that: My sister and I went back with our husbands and parents a few months ago. AMAZING food and amazing service. We were more than pleased.

But....There is a restaurant in my city called Tripoli, its a Greek place with amazing food. The food has NEVER been bad but the service, OMG, the service is horrible. Every single time we go we complain about the service. If you are drinking beer you need to order 3 at a time just to ensure you'll have enough to get you through the meal.

Last time I was there was October 2010. We went for a friend's birthday. We started our dinner at 7pm and ended at 11pm. It wasn't because we were drinking and enjoying ourselves, it was because the service was soooooooo slow. I said I wouldn't go back because I just don't enjoy myself. I don't enjoy waiting 45 minutes for our EMPTY plates to be taken away in order to bring us our next course. I don't enjoy waiting 45 minutes for you to bring me a glass of water. It just isn't enjoyable and no matter how good the food is, its not worth it to me. I swore I wouldn't go back. I did pretty good, nearly a year.

Today I get home from work and this is the conversation we had:

DH: Hey did George call or text you?
Me: No, why? What's up?
DH: Where is your phone?
Me: In my back pocket. Why George, what is up? Is something wrong.
DH: Can you look at your phone?
(I pull my phone out of my pocket and see that I do NOT have a missed call or text)
DH: Well he's going to call or text you soon to see if you want to go out for dinner tonight...............to Tripoli.
Me: Man really? Okay fine since its George.

A few minutes later the house phone rings and we confirm that we are going to meet there at 7pm. I change D's clothes and get dressed pack the diaper bag and walk to the car.

We get to Tripoli where we are greeted by the owners wife. She asks if we are only 2 plus the baby. I said no, 6 plus the baby. We get seated and we are now waiting for the rest of our party to arrive.

3 minutes later the owners wife comes up to just George, myself, and the baby and says, "Would you like to place your order now or are you waiting on the rest of your party?" Uhhhh what the freak do you think? If we wanted to order ourselves, without the rest of our table we might as well stayed home.

So now our entire table is seated, we are waiting....and waiting....and waiting.....for someone to come see us to ask if we'd like to order our food or maybe even a drink. We place the entire order TOGETHER. We ordered drinks, apps, and main meal at the same time to save the waitress the trouble of coming back to our table to keep taking orders. George orders 2 beers in one shot. Do you know how long we sat at a table with no food, no drinks, and no explanation as to why we had none? FORTY-FIVE minutes. Yes 45 minutes with an empty table.

Our appetizers get to the table before our drinks do. As the waitress is handing out the appetizers she says, "Your drinks are on their way." FROM WHERE? Freaking Mexico? Shouldn't they have arrived FIRST? A few more minutes pass and she comes by our table again and says," Your drinks will be right out." FINALLY our drinks come, George orders another beer just for good measure and my husband points out to the waitress that she forgot to bring one of plates from the kitchen. She rushes back and brings it to us.

Now we finish our apps, we are waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for the meal courses to be brought out. Heck, we are waiting for them to even come and pick up our app dishes. Nope, no luck. Another 45 minutes passes and the waitress tells us at this point, "Everything will be smooth sailing from this point on." The table behinds us gets up before their food arrives, complains to someone and walks out. I felt like doing the same thing but somehow George knows the guy and it would be rude. Really? It's rude making people wait that long for food and water...and did you notice notice the 17 month old with us who was getting very tired and VERY impatient?

Nothing was smooth sailing, we waited another 10 minutes for our food. While we are waiting for our food the restaurant begins to fill with smoke. Something was burning and of course they couldn't admit that by opening a door or window right? Oh and at this point we are debating just asking them to cancel our main meals. As we flag the waitress over she is bringing our salad/main course. The fries that our plates came with were so over cooked that they were actually chips...expect they weren't thin enough to be chips. Look, if I wanted chips I would have opened a bag of Lays and called it a night. This is insane. Everyone just shuts their mouths and eats the edible portions of their food.

We ask for the bill which does NOT get brought to us. My husband had to get up and go find the waitress in order to pay the bill. One of the waiters actually commented "I've worked in worse places" and "Yeah its really bad eh" and started laughing when I asked him if he wanted me to crush my fries and make confetti out of it.

When your staff starts to laugh at where he works its time for a change. It's time to either hire more wait staff or more kitchen staff. It's not like it was an off night. This has happened every single time we go there regardless of the day of the week.

Tomorrow I will call Tripoli and let the owner know what I think of their establishment and their service as well as leaving negative reviews on any and all food forums I can find. This is ridiculous. 

Mark my words, Tripoli will never get a dollar off of me. If you see me in there I give you the right to spit on me.

Conversations with my sister in law

First of all, I want to say sorry for just dropping off the face of the earth. It really does feel like there isn't enough time in each day to do everything that I say I would like to do. I make a list of things I want to blog about and sort of just don't get to it by the time I have some "me" time. After I put D to bed I just want to unwind by reading a book, watching tv, writing or just vegging out. I hate that I put my blog last but sometimes relaxing my brain is the most important thing. :)

That being said I want to let you guys know about this conversation I had with my sister in law that completely blew my mind. Actually, it fucking completely blew my mind. It was THAT mind blowing. Now if you have been following this blog for a while you probably already know that my sister and I do NOT see eye to eye when it comes to parenting and raising children. Seriously its like night and day, hot and cold, sane and insane. I tend to think that I am more on the sane side of things while my sister in law is on the insane side. Why?

Well my sister in law is now in Florida and we had this conversation on Thursday of last week. It kinda came up with, "So are you guys ready for Florida" and her reply was "Yeah most of us are ready." "Oh, who isn't ready yet?" She went on to mention how her sister had booked the tickets out of the wrong airport and that her son's girlfriend would be joining them.

Now I'm really sorry, call me old fashioned, call me stupid, call me whatever in the hell you want to call me but bringing your 16 year old son's 15 or 16 year old girlfriend on vacation with you to another country is just insane. It's really really fucking stupid if you ask me. I mean, taking a girlfriend on a vacation is a huge responsibility, especially taking a girlfriend on vacation in another country. I still find it incredible that the girlfriends parents ALLOWED her to go on vacation with her boyfriend.

Then what floored me was this comment from my sister in law: "Well I'm not really happy about it but my son and his cousins wanted her to come."  Um excuse me are we seriously allowing a 16 year old BOY and his cousins that don't even live in the house to make decisions in your house? Is this for real?

I spent the following hour telling my sister in law that I thought she was insane, that although I like the girlfriend I do not think that it is appropriate for a girlfriend or boyfriend to go on vacation with the family at that age. It's like throwing them a box of condoms and saying "Yeah, uh, I'll pretend to not know what is happening okay?"

I have a feeling that one day issues that we see on Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant will be a lot more than just on TV for people who believe this is "ok" and "normal".

So how many of you have taken or would consider taking your child's boyfriend/girlfriend on vacation.

Writing Challenge times 2.

I've decided to do a writing challenge on my blog as per my friend TashSparkles and she basically got her challenge from another blog located  HERE. Tash is doing two challenges, I'm doing one for the time being. I might join in on the other one another day or I might just start the second challenge after the first ends.

I don't know how well I'll do on this. Do you remember how badly I failed at NoBlPoMo or whatever it was called?

If you feel like participating in this challenge let me know and I'll link your blog to the bottom of my Challenge Posts daily. This way we can spread around the love.


So here is the challenge (and my notes on them) . I sort of want the friends, crushes, etc ones to be anonymous. I'm not going to start off the letter with "My darling dear crush _________" I'll leave out the names....this is merely to protect the innocent.

The 30 Day Letter Challenge

WRITE A LETTER TO THESE PEOPLE :

Day 1 — Your Best Friend -- People probably won't know who this person is. They assume they do but when they read the post they'll be like?!?

Day 2 — Your Crush -- Considering I"m married this will be based on an old crush UNLESS celebrities count. 

Day 3 — Your parents -- Oh jeez. 

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative) -- This one should be fairly easy.

Day 5 — Your dreams -- Ohhhh that can be hard.

Day 6 — A stranger -- This one is probably the easiest.

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush  -- Fuck! Another one!?

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend -- How do I narrow that person down?

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet -- Here is where the celebrities come in!

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to  --Yeah. I totally know who this one is too.

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to -- This one is hard. Very hard.

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain -- I think this kind of...yeah they might be covered in an earlier letter.

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you  -- I know EXACTLY who this one goes out to.

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from -- Some of these seem repetitive to me. I'll have to keep ALL subjects in mind before writing. 

Day 15 — The person you miss the most  - This one is so easy. 

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country -- That is like 95% of the people that I know!

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood -- I can dig it.

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be -- That's hard. 

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad  LMAO. So easy.

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest -- Oh. Yeah. I can write it.

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression -- Ha ha. That would be 85% of the world.

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to -- Uh I'm  not good at forgiving and forgetting.

Day 23 — The last person you kissed  - My husband....that one has to be obvious.

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory -- Wow. I have to think.

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times -- Uh huh. I have this one covered too. 

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to  -- I only pinkie promise with one person...

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day  -- Uh?

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life -- This could possibly be a teacher. 

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to -- Yep. This one is totally covered in a letter above.  

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror -- Darling, you are beautiful! 

Don't forget to let me know if you are participating in this writing challenge so that I can link to your post. The easiest way to leave me your post link is by sending me a DM on twitter (@Tzenaki81) OR by dropping me an email at Tzenaki(AT)gmail(DOT)com

Do you think before you post?

Have you ever really wanted to say something on the internet and then stopped and thought..."Wait, my cousin can read this...." I'm sure we've all been there. We want to say something on Facebook, Twitter, your blog, or wherever, and you just can't because a family member, a friend, or a co-worker may see it.

I hate it. I seriously do. I'm a venter. I do NOT keep things inside and normally my blog is the place I turn to in order to just let it all out. I don't feel like it is wrong but I do feel like it can be seen as wrong. I mean we've all heard the horror stories of people getting fired (or sometimes not hired), family members not talking to each other any longer, or long time friends throwing a friendship away based on something posted on the internet.

I've been there. Well, I was never fired but I did start an anonymous blog about a year and a half ago because I needed to vent and I knew that one of my co-workers stalked my blog, twitter, and facebook in order to email my boss anytime I'd refer to her. My co-worker was obviously extremely intimidated by me and then I just got fed up of hiding behind an anonymous blog. It's not who I am. I got rid of that blog and just said "Fuck it". If someone gets offended by what I say then too damn bad for them. It's not like I write something online and never own up to it. Anything I write online I can, will, and probably have said to their face.

So what brings this up? I had a dream last night and it was very odd. I had a dream that George and I were celebrating some kind of event. It was probably Demi's baptism but I have no idea since that part wasn't in the dream. Anyway, people give envelope gifts (cash!) at these types of events so it was the next morning and George and I were opening the envelopes. I opened an envelope from my God brother Bobby. It was a big fold out card and he had written a lot in the card. He wrote, 1st Congratulations. The next fold had a 2nd and then it had small writing on it. I remember in my dream I brought the card closer to me so I could read it and it said something about "the chaos the internet caused". Then George woke me up. I didn't get to read any more and I was very upset. I got woken up from something interesting that didn't feature Paul Walker.

So when I woke up from bed I tried to think of why would Bobby write something like that in a card. Then I thought about it. I totally bashed his mom on my Facebook last year around my baby shower. I didn't invite my God mother, the lady who baptized me, to my baby shower. I felt (and still feel) like that relationship is dead in the water and we only invite each other to events out of "obligation" and not because we want to. Actually, wait, no, she doesn't invite me, my mom MADE me invite her. My mom made me invite my god parents to my engagement, wedding shower, and wedding. My god mother did NOT invite me to her sons' (both sons) engagements, wedding showers for their brides, baptism for one grandchild, but invited me to both weddings. Like seriously?

Why would you invite me to the wedding but none of the events leading up to it? Why would you NOT invite me but you invite all your other god children? I'll tell you why. Our relationship is very strained. I moved away when I was 4. She didn't see me again until I was 14. I moved back when I was 18. We saw each other in the beginning a lot and then I moved out of my aunt's house and I never saw my god mother again unless it was a special occasion. I got sick of it. I don't want them to come because they feel they HAVE to and I don't want to be invited because they HAVE to invite me. So I made a decision and told my mom that I would NOT be inviting my god mother to my baby shower nor would I be inviting their family to Demi's baptism. The last event that I would attend for them would be Bobby's wedding.

My God mother bought me a gift for Demi. She knew she wasn't invited to the baby shower because my aunt and uncle are some how related to her. What does she do? She goes and buys D an outfit (A Christmas dress for a 3 month old (D was set to be born in April), a snow suit for a 3 month old (again baby was born in April), and some ugly shoes. The whole thing must have cost $12 from the Wal-Mart post Christmas sale ( baby shower was in February). She doesn't bring the gift to me. She takes it to my sister's work and asks my sister to bring it to me. Seriously? How fucking ghetto are you? She writes a card and in that card she writes that she is very sorry that we have lost touch over the years but it's my fault. So wait, are you giving me a gift solely to find a way to turn the situation around and make me at fault?

My mom kept on urging me to call my god mother and thank her very much for the gift. I told her that I would be sending a thank you card to her like I am for everyone else who attended the baby shower. But my thank you card isn't a generic "thank you". I always write "thank you for the _______ I'm sure Demi will enjoy it when _____" or something to that extent.

My thank you to my God mother was a bit harsh. I thanked her for the gift and then continued to tell her that blaming me for her errors was tacky. I told her that after my engagement I sent her a thank you card telling her how thankful I was for the thoughtful gift she got me and how we've lost touch and should get together for dinner or coffee one day. I left my cell number and said to call when she is ready. She never called. I said "Fuck it". In the card I told her she was to blame and that after her son's wedding we could consider it the end of the relationship. I also told her how I was holding back/being nice in my card out of respect for my parents. She did not congratulate me on the birth of my daughter at her son's wedding and she barely acknowledged my being there. It was great. It made ending the relationship even easier.

So then I started thinking this morning. Do I really trash people that badly on the internet that it causes chaos in their lives? Yeah I do...BUT...lets be honest here. I do NOT write anything on my blog that I haven't already said to their face. Sure I called my god mother a bitch on Facebook. I basically wrote the exact same thing in the card I sent her only I worded it more nice. I've posted about how my co-worker can drive me up the wall and back and called her out on her lies BUT I have discussed the issue with my boss and let him know how I feel about her and the situation. I've called the co-worker a liar to my boss and he's confronted her on it. I've called out my cousin for not sharing holidays on my blog and YES I've told her how I think its very selfish of her and how I hated it and would not go to her home until she learns to share (guess what this year she shared).

You always hear people talk tough on twitter and on their blogs. I may talk tough but I do back it up and I'll always say it to your face.

So my advice to you, before blogging, tweeting, or updating your status about your friends, family, and co-workers, be sure that you can own up to it if ever confronted. If you can't then think twice before hitting submit!

Relationship Rules...oh wait, I mean common sense!

You know the types of things that people post on Twitter and Facebook are extremely alarming. Seriously, people feel so comfortable in the cyberworld that they forget that people in the real world really know them. I don't get why people post half the crap they do...but they do and of course that leaves people like me something to blog about so I don't mind so much.

From my past few years of social networking and my recent year of twittering I've picked up a few relationship rules that I figured I'd share with you. Hell, I might be saving your relationship as we speak. You can totally thank me later. I also accept tips via my paypal :)

1. If you don't want people questioning why you are in a certain relationship stop writing crazy shit as your status or latest blog post. If you tell everyone that your husband hits you...people will call him abusive. If you tell people that he constantly ridicules you, they will still call him abusive as well as scum and other choice words. Don't expect because the next day he bought you flowers for everyone to be "Oh that's so freaking sweet!" It's called sucking up because he wants your dumb ass to stick around so that he can continue to beat on you. He's an insecure man and you are insecure therefore an easy target for him. Don't find excuses for him, "Oh he was drunk. Oh he had a hard day at work. Oh his mom had really gotten under his skin that morning". I don't give one fucking shit how bad his day was, how much he drank, or who pissed him off....it doesn't give ANYONE the right to take their shit out on their spouse. STOP complaining about how shitty he is and continue to stay with him and then make excuses. Get the fuck off of that train and soon. I seriously have a feeling in my stomach that one of my twitter friends will end up dead at her husbands hands within the next few years. Yes, its that bad.

2. CHILDREN DO NOT SAVE MARRIAGES. If you and your spouse are thinking of ending your relationship having a baby will NOT help. It might at first, for a few weeks, or months, or even a year but then all those feelings you felt will come up again and you'll still end up divorced....only now you are dragging innocent little kids into it. Eventually you will end up hating your spouse and likely resenting the kid too. Kids shouldn't be used as pawns in a marriage. Have kids when you are happy in your HEALTHY relationship and when BOTH of you want them. I have a friend from HS who was miserable in his marriage. He stayed with his wife for the sake of their first kid. The more they talked about divorce the more angry she got. She got herself knocked up again and now he's staying for the sake of the kids. He's miserable, she's miserable and the kids feel that tension. (Seriously folks, if you are thinking of divorcing your spouse how about you keep your private parts to yourself to this type of shit doesn't happen?)

3. ENTRAPMENT. What do I mean? Say you are that couple that has a super rocky relationship. You are together for a week, broken up for a week, together for 3 months, broken up for 1 month... yeah... those types of couples should seriously invest in birth control. Let's be honest, usually when people have those rocky relationships its because one person wants more than the other. Someone wants to get married and the other doesn't...one wants kids and the other doesn't. People that are on the same page rarely have roller coaster relationships. If you are in a relationship like this USE BIRTH CONTROL. If your girlfriend wants to get married and have kids and you don't....do NOT rely on her for birth control. Use a fucking condom. That is the type of girl who will "accidentally" get pregnant. Why? Because she thinks that by her being pregnant she'll get it all. The ring, the baby, the house, and the perfect life. It's RARELY like that. Okay, so say he does give you a ring. He proposes and agrees to marry you...is that what you really want? You want a guy to marry you ONLY because he wants to do right by his child? He doesn't want to marry YOU for YOU...he's doing it because he feels PRESSURED by either his family or society to "do right by you"? I don't know about you but I have way too much self esteem and self respect to trap a man into marrying me. If you don't want me for me I'm not going to scheme to come up with plans to get you to marry me. I'm moving on honey. I mean, isn't that really shitty? You basically ruined someone else's life by tricking them and forcing them to be a husband and a father when they didn't want that at all for themselves? Oh, word to the wise, for those of you who have done this or plan on doing this DO NOT TELL ANYONE. Why? Because one day the cat will find its way out of the bag and you are going to drag other people through your shit and I'm sure they don't want to be there. Huh? Say you do this and you tell your best friend... or a good friend...or a friend in general. You guys have a huge fight. You both explode and say things that you either really mean or don't mean so much. Now trapped husband is listening and the friend screams something like, "oh yeah, at least I didn't trick "enternamehere" into marrying me bitch!" Yeah, you are pretty much screwed. Especially if boyfriend and you had trust issues prior to that. Do yourself a favor and don't tell anyone...not in real life, not on twitter, not on facebook. Take that shit to the grave.


Yeah so those are my few short tips. It's sad to think that its 2010 and some people still don't get it. It's not rocket science people, its freaking common sense! I'm sure I'll see more things and update this list in another blog post at a later date...until then....keep posting random shit for me to see! :)

Scary Doctors Visit

So it has been a while since I've actually blogged anything with content. My last blog was a bunch of useless rambling I think but hey, its my blog. I can write whatever I wish right?

So anyway, last Wednesday I had a prenatal check up with my OBGYN. I was going every 3 weeks but now that I've entered my 3rd trimester I have to go every two weeks. The last time I went to the doctors she was insisting that I get more rest. I explained to her that if I got any more rest that I'd be at the spa every single day. In all honesty, I work in an office sitting down most of the day. I come home and my husband has picked up around the house and even started cooking dinner. Now that its winter and my mom is here she'll call us over to invite us for dinner or tell us to swing by and pick up some food and just go home with it. I relax a lot. Mind you my job is stressful because I do work with SUB and DQ but I'm okay with that. I don't let it affect me right? At least I didn't think I let it bother me.

My doctor told me that week that she wanted me to take it easier. I agreed and began to not stress as much about work. I asked her if I had anything to be concerned about and she told me that my uterus was lower than normal for where I was in my pregnancy but nothing to worry about.

When I went last week again she stressed how much I had to take it easy. She measured me to see how far I've expanded and she told me that I was about 5cms LESS than I should be. Since I was 30 weeks I should be 30cms but I am only 25cms. Then she told me that I was going to have a small baby. I asked her again if I had anything to be concerned about and she told me no...but then she told me to go upstairs and schedule an ultra sound for two weeks and to come downstairs right away with my results. So I start to freak out. Obviously my kid isn't going to be huge. I've barely gained any weight so I wouldn't expect for Demi to be huge. Then I stopped to think about it and if the doctor, who is a high risk specialist and head of OBGYN in my hospital, was really concerned wouldn't she make me schedule the U/S right away? Why wait for two weeks?

Then she also mentioned that I wasn't going to make it to full term pregnancy. I technically have 10 weeks of pregnancy left but the doctor said that she'd be happy to keep Demi in her uterus home for the next 6 weeks. She also made me stop work effective Jan 29th but I already had that day off so the 28th was my last official day of work. I'm still working from home and training my replacement via email and telephone and I do still go in but for half days. I promised my boss I wouldn't leave him high and dry. My replacement is good but she does still need some training. She's unsure of how to do some things even though they've been clearly laid out for her in the binder...some people need to DO things and not read about them so its completely understandable!

I've been trying to stuff my face since my doctors appointment to gain weight so that Demi can gain weight but I'm not getting any more plump. I took it ultra easy at my sister's wedding. I only danced to the english portion of the music and not for the entire time either. I barely went up and down the stairs (the owners of the reception hall were nice enough to open the handicapped bathroom upstairs for Nicole and I).

I have to admit I'm really freaking out about Demi being small. I'm a planner for everything and I never planned on having a small baby. I never planned for anything to go wrong with my pregnancy, not that anything went wrong. I know I'm high risk and thats why I see a specialist. Considering that we were expecting the worst for my pregnancy with my mysathenia gravis and everything had gone so well we were never expecting to hear that Demi is small. Like, how small is small? I guess only time will tell...aka the ultra sound. It's going to tell me how big she is. According to What to Expect when Expecting she should be about 3 pounds by now. Doesn't that seem small?


So am I over reacting and stressing over nothing or did my doctor give me stuff to truly be concerned about? I'm having a mini heart attack here but I do a good job of covering it up so my hubby and parents don't see me worrying. If I worry aloud they worry too.

Not So Happy Holidays?

Hey everyone! Happy New Year! Not too shabby right? I'm blogging on Jan 2, 2010! Maybe I'll this is a sign that I will be blogging more in 2010? I guess taking mat leave in Feb will help with that. I'll be less stressed and have about 2 months before Demi gets here!

Now I'd like to start off the New Year with blogging about something positive and happy but I can't. I find myself thinking about the holidays and how low key they were and blah blah. Now I made a conscious decision to have low key holidays. I didn't want to have 800 people coming through my doors or going to visit 800 people. We wanted to take it easy because when we do our holiday parties its always huge and we don't get to enjoy them. George and I are always in the kitchen cooking something, checking on something, refilling someones beverage, making sure the bathrooms remain clean.... and it gets to be really NOT fun although everyone else enjoys their time at my house.

Now something happened during Xmas 2008 that really pissed me off. It was my first year married and I wanted to host Christmas Eve OR Christmas Day at my house. Well guess what happened? One of my cousins decided to call everyone BEFORE HALLOWEEN to invite them to her house for Christmas. Now yes, she has always hosted the holiday but thats because no one else would step up do it. I did the bigger person thing and called my cousin and said, "Hey Cousin, why don't we split the holidays? You can do either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day at your house and I'll do the day you don't want at my house." I thought it was very nice of me to put it that way and give her the choice. I even explained to her that its my first married year and I'd like to host a holiday. She was like, "Um no. I want to do both holidays because I ALWAYS do them and besides there is always so much food left over." So I said something along the line of, "Yes you always do it therefore you should SHARE the holiday and if the amount of food is an issue, just cook LESS." The bottom line is she was a stubborn bitch about it and refused to budge. She wanted to do both days at her house. Her excuse was, "You hosted Easter..." Um yeah I did do Easter because its my husbands favorite holiday and its the first holiday that came after our wedding.

So what did I do? I called my favorite aunt and explained to her the situation. I informed her that I was very well aware that my cousin called everyone to invite them to her house for Xmas Eve and Day however I was doing Xmas day at my house. I understand if they can't make it but I will be doing that. My aunt explained that she had already RSVPed to my cousin's house but she would leave early to come to my house. I did the same thing with some cousins and everyone told me the exact same thing. They would go to the cousins house because they said they would but they would go early and leave early so they could eat here. I did NOT invite the selfish cousin nor did I invite HER parents. I mean, that'd be kinda rude to tell them, "Hey I know your daughter is hosting a day at her house but why don't you come to mine instead?".

My husband and I discussed what we should do for Christmas Eve since I was only doing ONE of the two nights. We decided to be bigger people and go to that cousins house for a little bit. The only reason we went was because my sister was going to be there and Alex and I have NEVER had Xmas apart. We showed up to the cousins house with presents for the kids, a gift for the hostess, and stayed for a while (not as long as we had stayed in previous years). When we got up to leave we didn't mention the usual, "see you tomorrow" but she did ask my sister, "So will we be seeing you and Mike tomorrow" to which my sister responds, "No. My sister is doing Christmas Day and I will be there!"

Christmas Day rolls around. My hubby and I wake up early to clean the house, and start preparing our feast. When I say feast I mean a feast. We must have spent the better part of the day cooking the main meal not to mention the amount of appetizers we'd made. Everyone who came over really enjoyed it and commented on the vast difference in quality of food they were eating today compared to yesterday. It's not that my cousin cooks shitty quality food, she just isn't the best cook in the family!

My cousin didn't call me to wish me a Merry Christmas that day. I didn't really notice but of course my hubby does. He notices the strangest things!

We decided to host NYE and New Year Day at my house last year. My mom always wants to do it but she had just renovated her basement and did not want all of the cousins kids to go there and ruin it so we did it at my house. My mom paid for a lot of the dishes and even cooked a bunch of them but we just had the event at my house. My cousin didn't come. She decided her friends were more important than her family that particular day.

So now Xmas 2009 rolls around. Of course the cousin calls me to invite me over and I say, "I'm unsure of our plans. I'll have to check with my husband to see if anyone on his side is doing it since we did it last year." She said okay and to let her know. I didn't let her know but I didn't plan on going there from the get go. I had told George that I would rather stay home alone doing nothing than go there. I told him I refuse to go there for 6 years! Why six? I don't know its just a random number I came up with. In all honesty, we aren't comfortable going there. It's just that there are SOOOOO many people in such a small space that its very uncomfortable. The house gets all hot and loud. We had NYE here last year 2008/2009 and we got uncomfortable and I have 3 floors of house! My cousin has a 3 or 4 bedroom apartment. If we felt stuffy at my place imagine what you feel like there?!

My cousin told my sister that she was upset with me because I didn't call back to RSVP for Xmas. I told my sister that common sense says if one doesn't respond they aren't coming. I mean, if you don't respond to my sister's wedding shower I'm assuming you aren't coming, I don't assume you will be there.... I don't care if shes upset.

Oh, she didn't call me this Xmas or New Years in order to wish me happy holidays. Oh well, I didn't call her either. I had to call to invite her to my sisters bachelorette though. Ugh. Hated it.

Now my sister is getting married in 29 days. I discussed this with her today. Would she like to split the holidays? I realize that I will have a young child during the holiday season next year but I still want to host a holiday. My mom will go back to hosting NYE therefore its just Xmas Eve and Day that are left for us to split. She said shes interested. I told her to let me know which date she'd like and then in November of 2010 we'll call our aunts/cousins together and tell them what day they are invited to our respective homes.

What irks me is that the holidays are meant to be about family and sharing. My cousin refuses to share. It's her way or no way because she's done something for 10 years. Yes, but no one else wanted to do the holidays. Maybe they don't want to spend the money entertaining a bunch of hungry Greeks, maybe they don't want to exhaust themselves cooking and cleaning, whatever the reason may be no one but her would offer to do it. How can you be so selfish about hosting a meal at your house? My sister in law called me about 2 weeks before Xmas to ask me what I was doing. I told her I had no plans for Xmas Eve but since my mom was flying in on Xmas Day I was going to do a very small dinner. Just me, George, Alex, Mike, my father in law, and our kourbari (like bestest friends), if they'd like to come they are more than welcome. She told me that her family will come to my house after they go to HER sister's house and that we are invited to HER house on Xmas Eve since we aren't doing it. See how it works? Everyone wants to host something yet they call to find out who is doing what so that it can be shared.

Now I find myself asking this question, its a whole year later and I'm still bitter about this. Is it too long to hold a grudge? Am I blowing things out of proportion? Should I just drop this whole, "5 more years of no Xmas at cousin X's house?"

Wedding Bells

Again, its 11pm and I'm just NOW sitting down to write my blog. Seriously, something has to be done about this. I'm not finding time to blog, instead I find myself rushing something else to be able to sit down to write and then of course the post is crappy like last night.

Either way, todays topic is about wedding bells! Nope, not mine! My sister is getting married in 6 weeks, yep you heard that right 6 weeks. Jan 30th is the day and I thought it'd never get here. In fact it really seems like this is the longest engagement in the history of the world.

My sister is not much of a wedding planner. She didn't really help me out with my wedding planning and she hasn't really helped out anyone with the planning of her wedding. I've given up on doing anything "wedding" related as far as the "big day" goes. If she doesn't have any flowers its not my problem.

My best friend is my sister's koubara (like a maid of honor) and together we are PLANNING her show (my momma is paying, I just do all the leg work!) So far the venue is booked, the invitations went out, and the RSVPs are rolling in. The problem here? Her registry kind of sucks. It's really not her fault. It's my mom's fault. My mom has bought EVERYTHING for my sister and her hubby to be. Pots and pans...check. Tupperware...check....towels...check (like 19820392 of them)....bed linens....check and double and triple check (duvet, comforters, and sheets all done...like 7 sets of each)....toaster oven, slow cooker, coffee maker...check check check.

See why its hard to blame her for a bad registry? Not only that but I went with my sister to register and she didn't want to add anything to it because she thought that everything was priced too high and she didn't want anyone to feel obligated to buy her what she asked for. I told her to do it anyway. Some people will be willing to spend the money on the gift and others won't. Thats why you put items from different price categories onto the registry. Someone may only spend $40 (placemats for the table) while someone is willing to spend $150 (those photo frames sets...)for big ticket items a few people may pitch in get her something really nice. Nope, she kept her registry pretty bare and all the good things were already purchased by her koubara as well as koubara's mom.

Now I'm stuck taking the RSVP's and answering the question: "Is there anything Alex wants that isn't on her registry?" How do you explain to them that anything needed for a house is already purchased and she just wants decorative knick knacks... oh but shes very picky and has taste like my mom? It's almost too easy to say "Yeah I think you should give her cash" but that sounds greedy and makes the shower look as if its a money grab which its not and shouldn't be.

I remember when I was getting married I was on some wedding forums and people said the tackiest thing in the world was to be told "no box gifts" or "they couple is collecting cash for X reason". Let's be honest, part of the fun of a wedding shower is to watch the bride open her gifts, not to watch her open envelopes and count cash.

So now I have to come up with some fun and interesting games that can be played with people of all ages, get some prizes for these games, order the cake for the shower and just wait for the shower to be over with....then start the bachelorette party...then the spa day and then wait for the wedding to get here....all while fat and pregnant and in my 3rd trimester.

I'm going to be 31 weeks at my sister's wedding. I had to order a tent for a dress....seriously, I'm not joking. The dress was ordered when I was 3 months pregnant and they sized me and guessed where I'd be...my dress is a size 24. Yes, thats TRIPLE my CURRENT size... I guess I'm spending a boat load of money on alterations!!


NaBloPoMo: 9/31

Stuffing the Envelope

Stuffing the Envelope


So its summer and that means its wedding, engagement, baptism, shower season. It’s actually one of my favorite and least favorite things about the summer. I love that my friends are moving on in life and getting married, having babies and all that other great stuff but I hate that every weekend seemed to be booked by going to an event. Every once in a while you like to just sit at home on your couch on a Saturday. Luckily this season has been a bit different. The majority of my friends who are having these events don’t live locally and as much as I’d love to be able to fly in to help them celebrate, I can’t. But I do send gifts when possible.

I was always taught if you can’t make it to an event, along with your RVSP card saying “I regretfully decline,” you should send a gift. Be it a check, a mixer, or whatever. You shouldn’t just say no empty handed because that person wanted you there to help you celebrate with them.

I did that with most of the events that I had to decline this season…I wasn’t able to make it to a friend’s wedding shower and I tried to buy a gift and have it sent but apparently the place she was registered at didn’t want to take my Canadian credit card. But I did make up for it at another one of her showers (lingerie).

So when it comes to sending gifts what criteria do you use? The reason I ask this is because often at Big Fat Greek Events you can over hear a couple discussing what to put into the envelope (because we don’t normally have box gifts at our weddings, that’s what the wedding shower and housewarming is for). It’s not rare to hear an older couple telling a younger couple, “Oh, you don’t have to put a lot in this envelope, the bride isn’t Greek.” Or “150$ for the both of you is okay, the served chicken!” Yep, that’s what people around these parts do. They look at the following to gauge how much you are worth.

1. Are you both Greek? If not, you just lost at least 25% of the “norm”
2. What type of meal is being served? Chicken?! Shame on you! Beef, way to go.
3. What reception hall is it at? Are you paying $40 per person or are you paying upwards of $100?
4. How well do we know you? Did you invite me because my mom made me invite you to my event?

I think its all stupid. When I go to an event with my husband I think of: “How well do I know them?” I don’t think about if they came to my event, how much did they put in the envelope, what did they serve to eat, are they both Greek or both Italian or Arabic? Who cares? The only thing that should matter is how well you know them and how close you are to them?

I’m obviously going to put more money in an envelope for my cousin then I would for a friend? And I’d put more for my sister than I would for my cousin. If I can’t make it to something I try to either send 100$ or a gift that is approximately that much. I don’t say, “Oh they are having their wedding at the Chateau Royal so their meal is probably $40…” that’s wrong. That’s cheap. At that point just don’t even bother going.

I have a funny story about my wedding. Instead of doing the traditional Greek thing and going to a Greek reception hall which are totally over done and need a MAJOR face lift I decided to go to an Italian hall in the East End. Sure, it’s a bit further away but you know what? I loved my hall. If I would have gotten married in the Greek halls I would have spent about $5,000.00 just decorating the hall to make it look decent. I didn’t have to pay a dime at the Madison. Sure I spent a little more for the meals then I would have at a Greek hall but who cares? I’m only getting married once and I wanted to have an event that I’d never forget. I wanted an event that I would look back at the pictures in 20 years and smile about how perfect everything was.

Some people (I won’t name names!) told me that I would “lose” money if I got married at an Italian hall because the meals were more expensive and people wouldn’t put that kind of money in the envelope. I told that person that I’m not looking at my wedding as a money making event. I’m looking at it as a celebration and if you can come then come. I was told that the Canadians (read “white folks”) don’t put money in envelopes and would bring us a bottle of wine or something and we’d lose money on them so to not invite them. I told that person to stop telling me what to do at my wedding. I’m happy enough to have that person join me at my wedding and I don’t care what they bring. In fact, I had recently met a cousin of a great friend of mine who was having a hard time. He was going through a divorce, he wasn’t enjoying life, and he was out of a job. (Oddly enough his parents were invited to my wedding via my parents. His parents actually married my parents. They put the stefana on them! SMALL WORLD!). I asked him if he had a suit and he said he did. I told him to come to my wedding. (I met him on Thursday, getting married on Saturday…). He said he’d love to but he just didn’t have money to put into the envelope and I told him screw that. Just come. I told him that I’d already given my head count to the hall and one of my husband’s friends cancelled at last minute so I was going to pay for that meal regardless and I’d rather someone be there to eat it then end up trashing it. He thanked me and said he’d come. He did show up and you know what? He had an amazing time hanging out with his cousin, her husband, and a lot of my friends. He loved Table 13.

Well, there was a family of 4 that showed up to my wedding. A family that was related to the person who told me that we’d lose money by doing the wedding at an Italian hall (yes this is important to the story). The husband of this family works for a huge company and brings home a 7 figure paycheck yearly. Do you know what they put in the envelope? A check for $125 for a family of 4. Um, sorry dude but that doesn’t even cover the cost of ONE meal let alone 4. At that rate, why even bother putting anything at all? It made HIM look like a fool and no one else. In fact, my husband and I decided not to even bother cashing the check. That guy called us one day asking why we didn’t cash the check (about a month or two after the wedding) and I told him simply, “Apparently you need it more than I do”. Was it rude? Sure. Do I care? Not really.

Now with all that being said I know that its not everyone’s customs to bring an envelope as a gift. But my question to you is, how do you determine the value of the gift (envelope or box)? Strictly on what you can afford that weekend? If you have to travel to get there? How close you are? The venue that the event is held?

Dallas Armani - My First Born

Today I was looking through pictures I have on my computer of my dog, Dallas Armani, and I can't believe how much he has grown. Dallas is a Weimaraner which is a German hunting dog that was originally used by royalty. This breed of dog is extremely smart, hard headed and very regal. Regal to the point that when Dallas lays down he crosses his front paws and rests his head on them. Regal to the point that his high class ass can not sit on the floor...he needs a carpet or a blanket to be able to be set apart from the rest of the ground.

This dog is too cute. He's always jumping around forgetting his size. My body is constantly bruised from him pouncing on me because he is under the impression that he is a lap dog. When you tell him no nd you have a smile on your face he'll bark at you. When you offer him a treat he'll go through the tricks routine before you can even say "Sit, shake, other paw, lay down, kissy kissy". He's a cuddle bug. He wants to be wherever you are. He follows you to the bathroom, watches you shower and barks if you lock him out. When we have guests at our house late at night he'll smile when they leave...a real genuine smile. He is 100% full of personality.


We got Dallas in January and now I can't imagine a day without him being in my life. I never in my life thought I could love a dog more than Cookie but I do. Cookie still has a special place in my heart but Dallas owns my heart....well co owns it with Georgie.

Here is a little picture walk through of his growth....and I promise to get back to posting about bitchy things on Monday or something.


This is Dallas the first day we were allowed to bring him home. We live in Montreal and had to drive to Kinburn (about 2.5 hours away). On the way back to Montreal we stopped at my uncles house and the family that lived in Ottawa came over to see him. This is my cousin's daughter Aggeliki with Dallas. She loved him so much. He we a bit scared of her. I was so sad when I took Dallas away from his family. He was born with 10 brothers and sisters and 10 half brothers and sisters (two dogs from our breeder went into heat at the same time and they both got pregnant by the same male). He went from being one of 21 to being just by himself. I was really proud that he didn't get car sick on the ride home.











Dallas and his mommy. :) I was so happy to bring him home and he's already showing Montreal team spirit by wearin his Montreal Canadiens collar.

Yeah I don't like this picture of me very much but its one of the few pictures I have with Dallas alone.







Daddy was very happy when Dallas got home! (I went with my mom, dad, and sister to pick him up). George didn't want to come because he was scared that Dallas would throw up in his car (he did have a Porsche Cayenne at the time so I kind of understand). I didn't want to drive because there was a lot of black ice on the road so my father agreed to drive and my mom and sister came for the ride...and to see the family. When my dad saw Dallas his heart melted just a little bit. When George saw Dallas he didn't stop smiling. Dallas was my belated Xmas gift. I knew I was getting Dallas but we couldn't bring him home until after he was 6 weeks old. He wasn't old enough at Xmas.






The above pictures are of him at 6 and 7 weeks. Isn't that face so precious? The picture on the left is my favorite picture of him ever.




Here he is at 8 weeks old. He wanted to help me do laundry. See all the little wrinkles on him? They are all going away now. He's growing into his extra fur/skin. Oh did I mention that he sheds VERY VERY little? Thats amazing. I hate dog fur andI hate cleaning so if I had a shedding dog I'd go insane!!


I also should have told Dallas that Mommy doesn't do laundry. Our cleaning lady does it. Our job is just to put the clothes in the hampers and then Daddy takes them to the laundry room and they are magically washed, ironed, and put away!














He is 4 months old here. He had just taken a bath and I dried him the best I could but he was shivering so I put him in a hoodie. It's not a dog hoodie but there is a reason for it. I can't buy him any clothes until he stops growing which should be at a year old for a breed this size. No, I'm not going to dress my dog in prissy ass clothes. But since Montreal winters are harsh I am going to get him a jacket for when we go for walks in the winter. If I'm wearing gloves, a jacket, a scarf, and winter boots the least I could do is get Dallas a jacket to protect him from the harsh elements.















Here he is at 7 months old. He wasn't very happy with the goings on at my house on June 24th. He knew it was a French holiday and they were supposed to get drunk but he didn't understand why all of his Greek family was getting drunk. He also was not happy with the amount of food people were trying to feed him. He only eats raw food and people were trying feed him hot dogs and hamburgers and chips. Yuccky. He's above all that.


He is finally getting used to the water. This is one of our few family pictures. Isn't it adorable? I love how George's top matches Dallas's fur. Why is George wearing a top in the pool? When Dallas gets nervous he stifftens his paws and his claws dig in deep to anything he finds...which is usually George because I'm a bit far from them. :) I don't need any more scars.







If anyone is a friend of mine on Facebook they can see the pictures of Dallas in his album "Dallas Armani" and there a lot of other pictures in the "Moblie Upload" album as I seem to never have my camera on me but my phone is always at the right place at the right time.

Raising Children In Today's Society

I am going to apologize in advance if this blog post is slightly buzzy. I got to leave work early on Tuesday due to a power outage and I spent the entire day (11am to 10pm) in my pool in the sun. Wednesday was a Quebec Holiday (They call it St. Jean Baptise, a day they get to liberate themselves but I call it French Separatist Holiday...hey I don't mind.. I get a free day off because of them) and again, I spent the entire day in the pool in the sun. I'm exhausted, I'm sun burnt, and I want to fall asleep at my desk but I can't help myself. I have to get some things off my chest.

Please forgive me if this post is buzzy and lack my usual wit and off the wall comments.

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Raising kids is hard. It's always been hard but I think its getting harder and harder with each passing day. How can I say this when I don't even have kids yet? Because I'm a very observant person and I notice thing. I watch the trends and I like to keep up with the kids in my family (combining mine and George's family we probably have about 50 kids under the age of 18). I know that listening to parenting advice from someone with no kids sounds foolish but you know what...I know what I'm talking about.

My husband is 15 years older than me therefore the people in that particular circle of friends are all older and have teen aged kids. When the parents talk to the children the kids often shoot back with something like "Gosh, you dint even remember what its like to be a teenager. Times have changed". That's when I pipe in with something along the lines of "Well, I've been there pretty recently and what you are asking for is completely out of line". The kids from that circle of friends/family respect me because I am closer in age to them and I kind of walk that thin line of authority and friend. I try to see things from their perspective and from the parent's perspective. I play the Devil's Advocate for both sides.

Well recently I'm finding that this balance can't exist anymore. I can't be a Devil's Advocate for the kids anymore. They want crazy ass unreasonable things. They have no respect for their families, their friends, and most importantly for themselves.

One of my posts from Monday mentioned how one of the boys had a girlfriend who cheated on him...and how he is willing to sweep that under a rug which is something I can not stand. But I'm not supposed to know about this so I can't say anything to the kid right? I'd be betraying A LOT of people by being all "hey I heard your girlfriend is a slut..."

Well we had a pool party at my house for the above mentioned French Separatist holiday. The boy, Dan, asked me if he could invite his girlfriend, Marie, over to my house. Since I know nothing, I couldn't very well say no. I said yes. The girlfriend had her parents drop her off and then that's when I got disgusted.

Shortly after being at my house, Marie strips down to her swim suit in order to go swimming (normal) and that's when I notice a tattoo on her thigh/butt area (not normal). Let me explain why its NOT normal. MARIE IS 15 YEARS OLD. Do you know what that means? It means that Marie's mother or father went with her and signed a paper saying that they allow the tattoo parlor to permanently ink their child. 15. Fucking 15 years old. FIFTEEN! At 15 years old I was too fickle to thin of something that I'd want to be on my body for the rest of my life...I still am. A 15 year old girl with a tattoo is TRASHY. I don't care if I get hate mail about this. It's TRASHY. It's DIRTY & DISGUSTING.

Then I thought about. One one hand these parents have Marie in a private school that they pay good money for, she is getting top marks in all of her classes, and they encourage her to do well in school. Bravo for them. It's great right? But on the other hand they take their kid to get tattooed. Are you not sending different messages to your child? They also allow Dan to spend the night at their house...in the basement....alone with their daughter. There are two completely different messages being sent to this kid. Basically, do well in school and you can be as skanky as you want to be...but you have to get good marks!?

But wait, it goes on! After being in my pool for a while they start to make out. Um, there are 25 people at my house. A good portion of them are younger (11 to 16) not to mention Dan's FAMILY MEMBERS. I told my husband to say something since it would make more sense coming from him. He said kids are kids and if Dan's parents are going to say anything why should he? I said, "Because its your house and I don't approve. I don't care if his parents don't care if they are making out. My house my rules." Hubby says nothing because he doesn't want to be the bad guy.

Instead of telling Dan and Marie and embarrassing them I told Dan's mom that I want her to talk to them to stop making out in my pool, around my pool, in my house or whatever. It is disrespectful to my home, myself, my husband, his cousins, and most importantly, his mother. No mother wants to see her kid making out. I'm sorry but I'm 27 (for 3 more days...) and I don't make out with my husband in front of my mother. I have respect for myself, my parents, and their rules. I told Dan's mom that I thought that both kids were being disrespectful. She told them and they stopped. But that's when I thought of something.

When I was younger and would go to my boyfriend's house for the first few times I was so timid. I barely wanted to hold my boyfriend's hand in front of his parents and meanwhile Marie thinks its perfectly fine to make out with her boyfriend at some one's house that she'd never met. Who does that? Who meets someone at their house and then makes out right there in the pool in front of 23 other people!? WHO?!?!

Apparently kids in today's society. They see NOTHING wrong with that. They think its normal or some way of claiming the boy or girl as their own. It's disgusting and will NOT be tolerated in my home. The same rules I'll have for my children extend to my nieces and nephews and friend's children. This is my home, not some random brothel.

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The way kids dress today is unnerving. Okay, not all kids but a lot of kids. Everything is so short and so revealing. It leaves nothing to the imagination (not that people should be imaging what a 15 year old girl looks like underneath her clothes) and to put it bluntly, is cheap looking.

I understand that parents don't really go shopping with their teenagers anymore because the teens don't want to be at the mall with their parents but when you kid comes home with shopping bags do you not check what is in there? Daisy dukes aren't right for anyone, especially young teenagers. Stilettos with metal spikes..NOPE! Those should be reserved for the strippers, not the teenagers. Short ruffly skirts that basically only hide the pounai hairs is NOT right for a child.

Parents when your kids come home you MUST go through their bags and see what they purchased. Do you really want your kid to be walking to the ice cream parlor down the street from your house and everyone thinking your kid is a street walker? Should girls that young dress so provocatively? I don't think so. Kids need to be covered up. I agree they can't walk around in turtle necks and jeans all day but why can't they get normal shorts instead of those daisy dukes? Why can't their skirts come a little lower on their thighs? Why are their tank tops so low cut and tight?

A huge problem in what kids wear is when the parents don't agree. If dad is saying that something shouldn't be in their house because its inappropriate and then mom says well all the kids are wearing it, its normal, let them express themselves...the kids never get the right idea. They think dad is wrong and a tyrant bastard while mom is totally awesome and cool.

You are sending mixed messages to your children. Get with your spouse and speak about what is and isn't allowed in your house and enforce the rules. Or let the kid buy what they want and don't let them wear it outside of their bedroom.


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I'll keep this section very short. You should always set an example for your child. I am sorry but you cannot drink, get drunk and then get behind the wheel of the car and preach to your kids about drinking and driving. Lead by example.

My husband likes to drink his Chivas and you know what...I don't mind. He never drinks and drives. I'm always the sober one when we go out because I'm not really a big drinker. I can have fun naturally without getting drunk off of my tree. I told him that once we have children he can't drink to the point where he is drunk. The last thing I want is for my child to turn around and tell me "Mommy, why is daddy always drunk?" Or for my teen aged son to tell me, "Well why can't I have a drink, dad has had 4 and Uncle Tony had 6". I believe in leading by example.

Set an example for your children and practice what you preach. Don't be a hypocrite.


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A blogger Constant Complainer commented on my last post Even More Cheating, about how TV shows such as Sex and the City promote this kind of behaviour. In a way I agree and in a way I don't agree. In a post on Complainer's website I mentioned how TV shows, movies, news, video games, music etc CANNOT be used as an excuse for violence or stupidity.

When I was growing up my parents taught me the difference between a TV show and real life. I never got the impression that if I wiggled my nose that something could appear. I never thought that I could spin/roll myself into a blue ball of fury and collect coins and jump on my enemies and be a winner. I never thought that the shows on HBO were real and never wanted to model my life off of them. Growing up I had cable in my room. Probably from the time I was 6 years old. My parents never felt the need to put those parental supervision things on my tv. They knew that I knew what I should and shouldn't be watching. As I got older I would stop with the Nick Jr., Nickeloden, and Nick at Night and went over to Showtime, Cinamax, and HBO. I always knew what I was watching and new it was fiction (although some of the things happen all the time in real life settings (Sex and the City, OZ, Dangerous Women).

I would never go to prison and shank someone because "Beecher did it to Keller", and I wouldn't cheat on my husband because "Big did it with Carrie". So using a tv show, movie or anything along those lines as an excuse is incredibly absurd. These things are dramatized for more and more ratings.

People have to learn how to think for themselves.



The end. Please comment! :)