Scary Doctors Visit

So it has been a while since I've actually blogged anything with content. My last blog was a bunch of useless rambling I think but hey, its my blog. I can write whatever I wish right?

So anyway, last Wednesday I had a prenatal check up with my OBGYN. I was going every 3 weeks but now that I've entered my 3rd trimester I have to go every two weeks. The last time I went to the doctors she was insisting that I get more rest. I explained to her that if I got any more rest that I'd be at the spa every single day. In all honesty, I work in an office sitting down most of the day. I come home and my husband has picked up around the house and even started cooking dinner. Now that its winter and my mom is here she'll call us over to invite us for dinner or tell us to swing by and pick up some food and just go home with it. I relax a lot. Mind you my job is stressful because I do work with SUB and DQ but I'm okay with that. I don't let it affect me right? At least I didn't think I let it bother me.

My doctor told me that week that she wanted me to take it easier. I agreed and began to not stress as much about work. I asked her if I had anything to be concerned about and she told me that my uterus was lower than normal for where I was in my pregnancy but nothing to worry about.

When I went last week again she stressed how much I had to take it easy. She measured me to see how far I've expanded and she told me that I was about 5cms LESS than I should be. Since I was 30 weeks I should be 30cms but I am only 25cms. Then she told me that I was going to have a small baby. I asked her again if I had anything to be concerned about and she told me no...but then she told me to go upstairs and schedule an ultra sound for two weeks and to come downstairs right away with my results. So I start to freak out. Obviously my kid isn't going to be huge. I've barely gained any weight so I wouldn't expect for Demi to be huge. Then I stopped to think about it and if the doctor, who is a high risk specialist and head of OBGYN in my hospital, was really concerned wouldn't she make me schedule the U/S right away? Why wait for two weeks?

Then she also mentioned that I wasn't going to make it to full term pregnancy. I technically have 10 weeks of pregnancy left but the doctor said that she'd be happy to keep Demi in her uterus home for the next 6 weeks. She also made me stop work effective Jan 29th but I already had that day off so the 28th was my last official day of work. I'm still working from home and training my replacement via email and telephone and I do still go in but for half days. I promised my boss I wouldn't leave him high and dry. My replacement is good but she does still need some training. She's unsure of how to do some things even though they've been clearly laid out for her in the binder...some people need to DO things and not read about them so its completely understandable!

I've been trying to stuff my face since my doctors appointment to gain weight so that Demi can gain weight but I'm not getting any more plump. I took it ultra easy at my sister's wedding. I only danced to the english portion of the music and not for the entire time either. I barely went up and down the stairs (the owners of the reception hall were nice enough to open the handicapped bathroom upstairs for Nicole and I).

I have to admit I'm really freaking out about Demi being small. I'm a planner for everything and I never planned on having a small baby. I never planned for anything to go wrong with my pregnancy, not that anything went wrong. I know I'm high risk and thats why I see a specialist. Considering that we were expecting the worst for my pregnancy with my mysathenia gravis and everything had gone so well we were never expecting to hear that Demi is small. Like, how small is small? I guess only time will tell...aka the ultra sound. It's going to tell me how big she is. According to What to Expect when Expecting she should be about 3 pounds by now. Doesn't that seem small?


So am I over reacting and stressing over nothing or did my doctor give me stuff to truly be concerned about? I'm having a mini heart attack here but I do a good job of covering it up so my hubby and parents don't see me worrying. If I worry aloud they worry too.