Monday, June 22, 2009

Even More Cheating....

So earlier today I wrote a post about Dan and Marie and I wasn't able to get into too many details because I wrote the post while I was at work and on my lunch break. Oddly enough, I actually DO have to do some work while I'm in the office so my post was a little rushed.

Actually, it was a lot of rushed. There was so much more that I wanted to discuss but I wasn't able to because my boss came in and I had to quickly publish the story and move about my day.

I logged onto my email and saw a comment from Heather where she told me she would be blogging about something similar. After Weight Watcher, dinner, a walk with the dog I'm home and got to read Heather's post Why Am I Not Good Enough and it struck a cord with me.

If you read Heather's blog she talks about how two of her friends slept with their ex boyfriends, who now have new girlfriends. It's an interesting read and I suggest you go there and read it. This post isn't about girls sleeping with their exes even though they've moved on it about CHEATING in general.

I know a girl who was cheated on by the "love of her life" (at least he was for this particular story. This girl (lets call her Emily) was totally in love with her boyfriend (we'll call him dickface of DF for short okay?). She did everything for DF and she could see herself spending the rest of her life with DF.

To put things into perspective Emily was a full time student and DF was employed. He worked in an office building. Can you see where this story is going? DF did the totally typical thing and decided to cheat on Emily with his secretary. Emily eventually found out and she wasn't as livid as I was. She was more upset and hurt. She immediately broke things off with DF and she couldn't stop talking shit about the secretary. Now I don't blame her for that but it does take two to tango. I mean, DF wasn't fucking himself on that wooden desk now was he?

So secretary got a horrible wrap. She was a bitch, a slut, a home wrecker, an evil whore. There were synonyms upon synonyms we called her. And if you ask me, she deserved it. It's not like she didn't know about Emily. She was the one putting the calls thru from Emily to DF. She was the one who would see Emily come into the office for visits.

Emily was disgusted by that evil little home wrecking whore face cunt. I was too. Do you know why I was disgusted? My second serious boyfriend in Montreal cheated on me almost the ENTIRE duration of our 18 month relationship. I couldn't believe it when I found out but thanks to a Greek website and a lot of gossiping girls we finally got to the bottom of it. ExBF of mine was actually cheating on HIS girlfriend with me! WHAAAAAAAAAAT?! Can someone explain that to me? Let's see if any signs of cheating were there.

1. Is with me DAILY. Either to go out to eat dinner or to come hang out at my apartment or to go see a movie. We saw each other EVERYDAY for HOURS at a time.

2. I met his entire family. Mom, Dad, Brother, and Grandmother. I met all of the friends. The friends referred to me as "GF".

3. All major holidays were spent together: Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentine's Day, Easter, my birthday, his birthday.

4. We dated for 18 months.

5. On that Greek website we referred to one another as girlfriend/boyfriend and there were pictures of together (hugging, kissing, cuddling) on that website.

Yeah. I couldn't believe all the gossip at first. I mean, how could ExBF have another girlfriend? How was I the other woman?

Well apparently the "real" girlfriend was studying to be a doctor or a lawyer (I don't remember now) and was a real book worm. She'd never leave her house to do anything because she was too busy studying. He'd leave my house at night and go see her. Ummm what?

Yeah so when I found out and actually believed it (Yes it took a lot of convincing. I was young and completely in love) I broke off with him and never wanted to see him again. Although I saw him a lot after that. We'd end up going to the same bars/clubs. I'd see him and stand within a few feet from him and ignore the fact that he was alive. You should have seen the look on his face when both me and the "real" (now also ex) girlfriend were dancing together being *gasp* friends!

But in all seriousness, nothing beats the look on his face when it was my birthday and there was this huge party at a club. He was looking like he was having a good time and my boyfriend at the time decided to send him & his friends some shots (the new boyfriend new the story of the ex). So as they are taking the shots the DJ announces on the speakers how its time to celebrate a very specials person's birthday...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! Like, how dumb are you to come to that club on that particular night when you KNOW its my birthday party?

Anyway, back to the story of Emily and DF. Emily eventually moved on and got a new BF. He was a pretty awesome guy if I do say so myself. I mean, her BF was my friend way before Emily was my friend so I liked the guy. He was awesome to party with and a great friend. They ended up not working out and life moved on.

Well lets fast forward a few years. Emily now meets this other guy. This guy is a total tool so we will call him Tool. Tool was a bum. I don't recall him ever working. All he'd do was hang out at this coffee shop all the time. Emily and him hit it off and everything was going great...then he had to go on vacation to the "mother land". While he was in the mother land he started to become distant and thats when he informed Emily that although he was head over heels for her he somehow managed to get someone else pregnant. Yeah, I know. Don't you hate when you suddenly impregnate someone and don't even know how?

After having to convince Emily for MONTHS that Tool was...well.... a tool she got it. She went back to her single life and enjoyed it. Then she met someone at school. She met a guy who she considered to be a great guy, only there was a problem.

This guy had a girlfriend. But that doesn't matter. He didn't want to be with his girlfriend she just didn't understand what a break up was? She couldn't accept the fact that it was over. He didn't really love her and was waiting for the right time to break up with her.

Soooo there were all these excuses (from Emily) on why new guy still had a GF. I told Emily that even thinking of being with this guy was a huge mistake. Doesn't she remember what it felt like to be cheated on? She feed me all the excuses from above when I just asked her, "What if DF was telling his secretary the same thing?" What if secretary though that DF was just waiting for the right time to end it with her? What if secretary was being told Emily just didn't get the clue and that it was really over?"

Emily suddenly didn't care. This was the guy for her. The girlfriend was just a little pothole in a perfectly paved high way to Happily Ever After Bliss.

I didn't agree. I mean. I know what its like to find out that your boyfriend is cheating on you. Emily knows what its like to be cheated on. She was pissed off that the secretary was banging her BF KNOWING that EMILY existed but wasn't EMILY doing the very same thing?

Cheaters never change. Once a cheater always a cheater. I just don't understand if you are unhappy with your current relationship why don't you just end it and instead of cheating on someone and making them feel like shit?

People who cheat make me sick.


  1. I 100% agree in the once-a-cheater-always-a-cheater theory.

    This is a great topic to debate. I think it's guaranteed to get people riled up. Everyone has an opinion on it.

    Interesting enough, my best friend was the victim of an emotional affair once and to this day, I believe it was worse than an actual physical one for him.

  2. It just makes me so angry! I'm shocked at your 18 month relationship!! My on-off boyfriend and I were on-off for 5 years and out of those 5 years, he had another girlfriend for 3 years.

    I can't believe Emily would keep subjecting herself to all that pain. Atuactlly, I can believe it. Some girls just look for any guy that is willing to give the time of day.

  3. So did Emily and the guy with a girlfriend end up getting together?

  4. Sassy,

    Yes they did. The girlfriend and the boyfriend broke up, and now the guy is dating Emily and they have been together for a long while.


    I agree with you 100%. The emotional affairs are a shit harder than a straight out affair. I started to feel it when people were telling me about my ex being with the other girl.

  5. I am just visiting back to check out the comments on this excellent topic.

    Jenny, I was telling some friends about your post and we started debating relationships, cheating, s*x and everything else. Always an interesting discussion.

    Of course, you know me - I stirred the pot by proclaiming that shows like "S*x and the City" do nothing but promote some of the above-behavior. Talk about causing a hornets nest with my female friends. LOL. It's all good...


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