Tuesday, June 16, 2009

My First Reality Check

Good afternoon everyone!

I hope that this week is treating you all very well! :) My week has been going okay so far, you know that one whole day that has already passed.

So last night I was at home just thinking about high school. It's a thought that comes up pretty often considering that my reunion is coming up in October. Then this morning I logged onto Facebook and some high school friends and I were discussing how people changed since then (personalities and looks). Then of course it got to the topic of people adding people just for the sake of upping their friend count and why would you add me as a friend when I clearly didn't like you then we live an entire country away so why would I like you today?

It reminded me of something that is very funny (yet sad) now but really had me upset in the 8th grade. Let's just put everything into perspective okay? In grade 8 I was extremely thin, I'm talking under weight and being made fun of for being so small. I had black unstyled hair and stupid ugly glasses. I was an ugly duckling and I can totally admit to that. (Who knew in one summer I'd change completely!!!)

So, I was friends with this girl in grade 8. (hey us undesirables had to stick together) A really big girl. Let's call her Corrie. Corrie and I had a lot of classes together and she used to have a huge crush on the boy (we'll call him Keith) that lived near me so she'd come to my house a lot. We'd often hang out after school at my house or her house (and she lived really far away from my house, I can't for the life of me remember how I used to get there!!!). We'd talk all the time and I'd always make sure we were outside of my house when we were there so she could bump into her boy crush and get to know him better. I was pretty close to Keith. We lived SUPERCLOSE for a really long time and we had a lot of classes together so we'd always talk. Boycrush never wanted to know about Corrie. He was mean and told me that she disgusted him. Not only was she overweight but she also had warts on her hands that grossed him out (and me too now that I think of it!).

I try to tell Corrie in a nice way not to waste time on Keith. I told her that he liked brunettes more than blonds, that he was dating someone who went to a different school. I tried everything short of telling her what he really said. I mean, that would have hurt her feelings right?

The school year goes on and there is a new kid in school. He's in the 9th grade though. He was a God (to me at least). Tall, blond, blue eyes, dimples you could literally fall into. I developed the hugest crush on him ever. I would daydream about him, doodle his name, you know the typical thing that 14 year old little girls do when they like someone. Corrie came up to me one day and told me that she spotted Wayne at the 7-11 by her house and that he's practically her neighbor! Well guess where we started to spend more time? Yep, at Corries house!

I finally got up the courage to talk to Wayne at school. We actually had hit it off. We had a few things in common and he was nice to me. I was shocked that a God would waste his time on a little peasant like me. We exchanged phone numbers and would spend a lot of time talking on the phone. Corrie knew this and she said she was really happy for me. Wayne was a good looking guy.

Wayne, Corrie, and I would hang out most days after school (because at 14 and 15 where can you really go on dates, especially if your parents are super strict Greek parents?) Things were going good. Moving slow but going good. I often felt like Wayne wanted to kiss me but I was soooo scared (Yeah first time a boy kissed me I ran home from school!!) that I'd often find an excuse to move away from him.

One day at school Corrie is starting to act really strange. She found an excuse as to why she couldn't sit with us at lunch (us was our normal lunch friends, no Wayne as he had a different lunch hour). During science class when we were asked to pair up she paired up with someone else. I was really confused. After school I went to our normal meeting spot where Wayne was looking sheepish. I'm not a rocket scientist but it didn't take me long to figure it out.

I demanded to know what happened. Wayne couldn't even look me in the eyes (all 4 of them) when he was telling me what happened. Corrie was crying. They had sex. Accidentally. I guess they must have gotten naked and fallen on top of each other repeatedly or something, I don't know how sex accidental happens! I turned around and walked home, the whole 2 miles, by myself crying.

I got home and my telephone rang and it was Wayne. He said he wanted to explain. I was mad and didn't want to hear anything but I figured that I would let him talk. I always did like the sound of his voice (c'mon, I was a stupid teenager!)He told me how Corrie had called him one night and asked him to go out with him so they could talk. She had something really important to talk to him about. He "borrowed" his older brothers car and they drove to school to talk. She told him that the reason I wouldn't kiss him was because I didn't really like him and that I was hanging out with him in order for the two of them to get closer to one another! (Oh the horror...or should I say whore!?) I was flabbergasted (and yes I knew what that meant back then too!). He told me that he was upset and then Corrie started kissing him and one thing led to another. And they had sex. On the football field. Of my school. That I had to go to for the next year and a half.

I wanted to vomit. I was sick to my stomach. I couldn't believe my ears. My best friend lied to the guy that I just "loved" to death. She not only lied to him but she put the moves on him and had sex with him. How was it that I couldn't bring myself to kiss this guy because I was so scared (of what I don't know!) and there she is getting all naked and fucking on the football field. I told Wayne good bye and that I didn't want to talk to him anymore or ever.

I called Corrie and told her that I knew everything and that I never wanted to talk to her either. The tension between us in classes we shared was strong. You couldn't even cut it with a knife because the knife would get stuck in the thickness of it all. I had other friends and she did too. We just went our separate ways.

Months later I heard a rumor about Corrie. I heard that Corrie and her original crush Keith were having sex. I didn't want to believe it. I mean, someone I once considered to be a friend was a whore? And wait, didn't Keith say he was grossed out by her? Rumor had it that Keith and Corrie had sex in a ditch near school and I couldn't really believe that. It's gross. The next time I saw Corrie she was wearing shorts and her knees were completely scabbed up. I thought nothing of it until Keith told me that he "avenged me". I asked him how this was and he told me that he fucked Corrie, doggie style, in the ditch. That explained her scabbed up knees. His friends were also calling her asking for sexual favors which she was eager to help out.

Now I wasn't only disgusted with Corrie for being a sexual toy but I was also disgusted with Keith and his friends. What they were doing was wrong but if Corrie wanted to be every one's "warm hole" I guess it was her fault.

Now what was the point of this story? A few months ago I got a friends requeste on Facebook from Corrie with a personal message: "Oh my god, I haven't spoken to you since 8th grade! How are you"

I rolled my eyes and laughed while clicking ignore. Did she honestly think that I'd forget that? There was a reason we quit speaking for so many years and I'm sorry but I am not a forgiving person. If you are one of the rare people I manage to forgive...I never forget. I think that event was my first real "reality" check. I had always lived a super sheltered life and didn't believe that things like that happened to real people. It was only things you see on those night time TV shows like The O.C, 90210 etc.

9 comments:

  1. Well, I know who "Corrie" is! I vaguely remember the rumors. It's amazing how people that hurt others seem to forget it but those that they hurt will never forget. I'm amazed at the forgetting ones by the way. I can't be mad at my first "boyfriend" for cheating on me with possibly the ugliest girl in school. He ended up being gay, LOL! I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are some hurts you may forgive but won't forget and then there are the hurts that are painful at the time but looking back you can move past them. Your blog is one of those never forget times.

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  2. Damn! She had a lot of nerve to send you a friend request! You should of accepted it just to see what she looked like and what a loser she probably turned out to be and then deleted her. Thanks for sharing :)

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  3. Okay... SO I HAVE to know who these people are. I cant for the life of me remember any of this. This probably has something to do with the amount of drugs I did during that period of my life....

    I had a similar situation. You remember Renee Montemayer? She and I were BFF forever. Then shit went down (always because of a stupid boy) and I dropped her like a bad habbit. Which my family and other friends had been telling me to do for years! Anyway... she found me on myspace a couple of years ago and wanted to reconnect. I accepted her friend request but it was not like I needed or wanted her back in my life. I had moved on completely and never looked back. I tried to take the high road and just leave it alone and simply ignore her but I finally had to explain to her that we would never be "friends" again and that maybe she read too much into me accepting her friend request.

    I'm with you though, It amazes me when people forget that they completely fucked you over. I learned how to forgive a long time ago. I dont carry that shit with me, but its not like I am going to jump at the chance to include you in my life again either.

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  4. I was glued to this story. I love stories and gossip. Even if it is gossip from people I don't know and from years ago. I'm bad like that I suppose.

    But wow! First off, I'm totally disgusted that all these guys were willing to sleep with this really fat girl (of course in my mind, I pictured her to be something along the lines of Shrek only not as green). Secondly, I wasn't having sex in grade 9. Apparently I'm old school and I waited a little bit longer. Thirdly, I can't believe she had the audacity to friend request you without remembering what she had done. I'm definitely not a person who forgets things over time and obviously neither are you!

    Can I also mention how passive excited I am for tomorrow? It's kind of like passive aggressive only passive excited. I'm excited because I want to win and I'm just generally excited that there will be a winner.

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  5. Oh, and I just mentioned you int he very first line of my newest blog post :)

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  6. PitChik -- I can't believe that you actually remember "Corrie". That is just too funny. I didn't think she was that noteworthy to anyone besides well... me because of what happened!

    Heather -- You are picturing her pretty much the way she was, minus the green part obviously. That is what freaked me out too. I was too scared to kiss a guy in grade 8 and here she is just letting anyone fuck her. I guess that comes with a low self esteem. I had a low one in jr. high but I always respected myself!

    Melissa-- I'll message you on FB and let you know who "Corrie" and "Keith" were. I doubt you'd remember "Wayne". As for Renee, we were best friends when she lived on Timberview. Obviously when she moved close to Workman in Elementary we drifted apart. We used to live two houses away from each other and Renee, TJ and I were very close! But I guess kids do stupid shit when it comes to matters of the heart when we were so young.

    I couldn't bring myself to accept Corrie's request because it brought up a really hurtful situation for me and its not something that I can just look past. Even after all these years that have passed. You can't just forget how you hurt people.

    I love all these comments, keep em coming!

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  7. Wow. How was having sex with that girl "avenging" you?? They both got what they wanted, and it didn't help you at all.

    It makes me really sad that there are such cold-hearted people out there. Its awful. I've definitely had my share of run ins with them...


    BTW... I came here from totallyheather.com :)

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  8. Jenny, like someone else said, I was literally glued to this story. Amazing.

    It's amazing how memories like this come flowing back due to Facebook.

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  9. OMG, is 'Corrie' who I think she is?

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