My First Reality Check

Good afternoon everyone!

I hope that this week is treating you all very well! :) My week has been going okay so far, you know that one whole day that has already passed.

So last night I was at home just thinking about high school. It's a thought that comes up pretty often considering that my reunion is coming up in October. Then this morning I logged onto Facebook and some high school friends and I were discussing how people changed since then (personalities and looks). Then of course it got to the topic of people adding people just for the sake of upping their friend count and why would you add me as a friend when I clearly didn't like you then we live an entire country away so why would I like you today?

It reminded me of something that is very funny (yet sad) now but really had me upset in the 8th grade. Let's just put everything into perspective okay? In grade 8 I was extremely thin, I'm talking under weight and being made fun of for being so small. I had black unstyled hair and stupid ugly glasses. I was an ugly duckling and I can totally admit to that. (Who knew in one summer I'd change completely!!!)

So, I was friends with this girl in grade 8. (hey us undesirables had to stick together) A really big girl. Let's call her Corrie. Corrie and I had a lot of classes together and she used to have a huge crush on the boy (we'll call him Keith) that lived near me so she'd come to my house a lot. We'd often hang out after school at my house or her house (and she lived really far away from my house, I can't for the life of me remember how I used to get there!!!). We'd talk all the time and I'd always make sure we were outside of my house when we were there so she could bump into her boy crush and get to know him better. I was pretty close to Keith. We lived SUPERCLOSE for a really long time and we had a lot of classes together so we'd always talk. Boycrush never wanted to know about Corrie. He was mean and told me that she disgusted him. Not only was she overweight but she also had warts on her hands that grossed him out (and me too now that I think of it!).

I try to tell Corrie in a nice way not to waste time on Keith. I told her that he liked brunettes more than blonds, that he was dating someone who went to a different school. I tried everything short of telling her what he really said. I mean, that would have hurt her feelings right?

The school year goes on and there is a new kid in school. He's in the 9th grade though. He was a God (to me at least). Tall, blond, blue eyes, dimples you could literally fall into. I developed the hugest crush on him ever. I would daydream about him, doodle his name, you know the typical thing that 14 year old little girls do when they like someone. Corrie came up to me one day and told me that she spotted Wayne at the 7-11 by her house and that he's practically her neighbor! Well guess where we started to spend more time? Yep, at Corries house!

I finally got up the courage to talk to Wayne at school. We actually had hit it off. We had a few things in common and he was nice to me. I was shocked that a God would waste his time on a little peasant like me. We exchanged phone numbers and would spend a lot of time talking on the phone. Corrie knew this and she said she was really happy for me. Wayne was a good looking guy.

Wayne, Corrie, and I would hang out most days after school (because at 14 and 15 where can you really go on dates, especially if your parents are super strict Greek parents?) Things were going good. Moving slow but going good. I often felt like Wayne wanted to kiss me but I was soooo scared (Yeah first time a boy kissed me I ran home from school!!) that I'd often find an excuse to move away from him.

One day at school Corrie is starting to act really strange. She found an excuse as to why she couldn't sit with us at lunch (us was our normal lunch friends, no Wayne as he had a different lunch hour). During science class when we were asked to pair up she paired up with someone else. I was really confused. After school I went to our normal meeting spot where Wayne was looking sheepish. I'm not a rocket scientist but it didn't take me long to figure it out.

I demanded to know what happened. Wayne couldn't even look me in the eyes (all 4 of them) when he was telling me what happened. Corrie was crying. They had sex. Accidentally. I guess they must have gotten naked and fallen on top of each other repeatedly or something, I don't know how sex accidental happens! I turned around and walked home, the whole 2 miles, by myself crying.

I got home and my telephone rang and it was Wayne. He said he wanted to explain. I was mad and didn't want to hear anything but I figured that I would let him talk. I always did like the sound of his voice (c'mon, I was a stupid teenager!)He told me how Corrie had called him one night and asked him to go out with him so they could talk. She had something really important to talk to him about. He "borrowed" his older brothers car and they drove to school to talk. She told him that the reason I wouldn't kiss him was because I didn't really like him and that I was hanging out with him in order for the two of them to get closer to one another! (Oh the horror...or should I say whore!?) I was flabbergasted (and yes I knew what that meant back then too!). He told me that he was upset and then Corrie started kissing him and one thing led to another. And they had sex. On the football field. Of my school. That I had to go to for the next year and a half.

I wanted to vomit. I was sick to my stomach. I couldn't believe my ears. My best friend lied to the guy that I just "loved" to death. She not only lied to him but she put the moves on him and had sex with him. How was it that I couldn't bring myself to kiss this guy because I was so scared (of what I don't know!) and there she is getting all naked and fucking on the football field. I told Wayne good bye and that I didn't want to talk to him anymore or ever.

I called Corrie and told her that I knew everything and that I never wanted to talk to her either. The tension between us in classes we shared was strong. You couldn't even cut it with a knife because the knife would get stuck in the thickness of it all. I had other friends and she did too. We just went our separate ways.

Months later I heard a rumor about Corrie. I heard that Corrie and her original crush Keith were having sex. I didn't want to believe it. I mean, someone I once considered to be a friend was a whore? And wait, didn't Keith say he was grossed out by her? Rumor had it that Keith and Corrie had sex in a ditch near school and I couldn't really believe that. It's gross. The next time I saw Corrie she was wearing shorts and her knees were completely scabbed up. I thought nothing of it until Keith told me that he "avenged me". I asked him how this was and he told me that he fucked Corrie, doggie style, in the ditch. That explained her scabbed up knees. His friends were also calling her asking for sexual favors which she was eager to help out.

Now I wasn't only disgusted with Corrie for being a sexual toy but I was also disgusted with Keith and his friends. What they were doing was wrong but if Corrie wanted to be every one's "warm hole" I guess it was her fault.

Now what was the point of this story? A few months ago I got a friends requeste on Facebook from Corrie with a personal message: "Oh my god, I haven't spoken to you since 8th grade! How are you"

I rolled my eyes and laughed while clicking ignore. Did she honestly think that I'd forget that? There was a reason we quit speaking for so many years and I'm sorry but I am not a forgiving person. If you are one of the rare people I manage to forgive...I never forget. I think that event was my first real "reality" check. I had always lived a super sheltered life and didn't believe that things like that happened to real people. It was only things you see on those night time TV shows like The O.C, 90210 etc.