Monday, December 27, 2010

Do you think before you post?

Have you ever really wanted to say something on the internet and then stopped and thought..."Wait, my cousin can read this...." I'm sure we've all been there. We want to say something on Facebook, Twitter, your blog, or wherever, and you just can't because a family member, a friend, or a co-worker may see it.

I hate it. I seriously do. I'm a venter. I do NOT keep things inside and normally my blog is the place I turn to in order to just let it all out. I don't feel like it is wrong but I do feel like it can be seen as wrong. I mean we've all heard the horror stories of people getting fired (or sometimes not hired), family members not talking to each other any longer, or long time friends throwing a friendship away based on something posted on the internet.

I've been there. Well, I was never fired but I did start an anonymous blog about a year and a half ago because I needed to vent and I knew that one of my co-workers stalked my blog, twitter, and facebook in order to email my boss anytime I'd refer to her. My co-worker was obviously extremely intimidated by me and then I just got fed up of hiding behind an anonymous blog. It's not who I am. I got rid of that blog and just said "Fuck it". If someone gets offended by what I say then too damn bad for them. It's not like I write something online and never own up to it. Anything I write online I can, will, and probably have said to their face.

So what brings this up? I had a dream last night and it was very odd. I had a dream that George and I were celebrating some kind of event. It was probably Demi's baptism but I have no idea since that part wasn't in the dream. Anyway, people give envelope gifts (cash!) at these types of events so it was the next morning and George and I were opening the envelopes. I opened an envelope from my God brother Bobby. It was a big fold out card and he had written a lot in the card. He wrote, 1st Congratulations. The next fold had a 2nd and then it had small writing on it. I remember in my dream I brought the card closer to me so I could read it and it said something about "the chaos the internet caused". Then George woke me up. I didn't get to read any more and I was very upset. I got woken up from something interesting that didn't feature Paul Walker.

So when I woke up from bed I tried to think of why would Bobby write something like that in a card. Then I thought about it. I totally bashed his mom on my Facebook last year around my baby shower. I didn't invite my God mother, the lady who baptized me, to my baby shower. I felt (and still feel) like that relationship is dead in the water and we only invite each other to events out of "obligation" and not because we want to. Actually, wait, no, she doesn't invite me, my mom MADE me invite her. My mom made me invite my god parents to my engagement, wedding shower, and wedding. My god mother did NOT invite me to her sons' (both sons) engagements, wedding showers for their brides, baptism for one grandchild, but invited me to both weddings. Like seriously?

Why would you invite me to the wedding but none of the events leading up to it? Why would you NOT invite me but you invite all your other god children? I'll tell you why. Our relationship is very strained. I moved away when I was 4. She didn't see me again until I was 14. I moved back when I was 18. We saw each other in the beginning a lot and then I moved out of my aunt's house and I never saw my god mother again unless it was a special occasion. I got sick of it. I don't want them to come because they feel they HAVE to and I don't want to be invited because they HAVE to invite me. So I made a decision and told my mom that I would NOT be inviting my god mother to my baby shower nor would I be inviting their family to Demi's baptism. The last event that I would attend for them would be Bobby's wedding.

My God mother bought me a gift for Demi. She knew she wasn't invited to the baby shower because my aunt and uncle are some how related to her. What does she do? She goes and buys D an outfit (A Christmas dress for a 3 month old (D was set to be born in April), a snow suit for a 3 month old (again baby was born in April), and some ugly shoes. The whole thing must have cost $12 from the Wal-Mart post Christmas sale ( baby shower was in February). She doesn't bring the gift to me. She takes it to my sister's work and asks my sister to bring it to me. Seriously? How fucking ghetto are you? She writes a card and in that card she writes that she is very sorry that we have lost touch over the years but it's my fault. So wait, are you giving me a gift solely to find a way to turn the situation around and make me at fault?

My mom kept on urging me to call my god mother and thank her very much for the gift. I told her that I would be sending a thank you card to her like I am for everyone else who attended the baby shower. But my thank you card isn't a generic "thank you". I always write "thank you for the _______ I'm sure Demi will enjoy it when _____" or something to that extent.

My thank you to my God mother was a bit harsh. I thanked her for the gift and then continued to tell her that blaming me for her errors was tacky. I told her that after my engagement I sent her a thank you card telling her how thankful I was for the thoughtful gift she got me and how we've lost touch and should get together for dinner or coffee one day. I left my cell number and said to call when she is ready. She never called. I said "Fuck it". In the card I told her she was to blame and that after her son's wedding we could consider it the end of the relationship. I also told her how I was holding back/being nice in my card out of respect for my parents. She did not congratulate me on the birth of my daughter at her son's wedding and she barely acknowledged my being there. It was great. It made ending the relationship even easier.

So then I started thinking this morning. Do I really trash people that badly on the internet that it causes chaos in their lives? Yeah I do...BUT...lets be honest here. I do NOT write anything on my blog that I haven't already said to their face. Sure I called my god mother a bitch on Facebook. I basically wrote the exact same thing in the card I sent her only I worded it more nice. I've posted about how my co-worker can drive me up the wall and back and called her out on her lies BUT I have discussed the issue with my boss and let him know how I feel about her and the situation. I've called the co-worker a liar to my boss and he's confronted her on it. I've called out my cousin for not sharing holidays on my blog and YES I've told her how I think its very selfish of her and how I hated it and would not go to her home until she learns to share (guess what this year she shared).

You always hear people talk tough on twitter and on their blogs. I may talk tough but I do back it up and I'll always say it to your face.

So my advice to you, before blogging, tweeting, or updating your status about your friends, family, and co-workers, be sure that you can own up to it if ever confronted. If you can't then think twice before hitting submit!


  1. I have tried not say things. I always get in trouble. No one responds to anything I say until I rag on Tea Baggers. I know how you feel.
    You have always been outspoken and that is not necessarily a bad thing.
    Paul Walker...yum.

  2. I am just seeing this blog now...? I have to catch up.

  3. I do the same thing.I did not start my blog as a place for family to go. I started it as a place to write ; t speak my mind.I feel that if they find it, then thats on them.They were not invited. I didn't say "hey, coem listen to me hate on you" they walked in on a party they weren't invited to.But I also dont say too much behind peeps backs that I wouldn't or haven't said to their faces.I think everyone deserves that courtesy.Its your blog.Say what you want, just know that sometimes someone that you might not want to read it, may stumble on it.I forget all the time that the whole world can and does read my blog.When I check my stats & see people all over the world read me, its a reality check.Of course, I don;t do that too often:) I love your blog.Keep on writing your heart and make yourself happy.It is YOUR blog afterall.

  4. I own up to anything and everything I 'put out there.'

    But, I hate when you're purposefully vague in an update/tweet, and then everyone comes out of the woodwork with the "are you talking about me?" comments. I know lots of people! It happened last night after a FB update and I wanted to shoot myself.

  5. SO I just started blogging again and that means I'm back to reading all my fave blogs - including yours! And the first thing, before I even read your latest post, that I have to comment on is the post of you, Demi and Dallas. Can be it be any cuter? Oh I adore it so much!

  6. I agree 100% with you. If you can't say it to someone's face then you shouldn't write it online. I imagine that I'm not quite as upfront as you are, but everything I write online is something I'd say to their face.

    I also can't believe she blamed you... In a card!


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