Got Nothing to Say

I seriously feel like I have nothing worth blogging about. I've had a super stressful day at work and I thought I had to rush home to take Dallas to his lessons but when I got here George decided to call to cancel. George, as most of you know, owns an online toy store so of course this is his busy time of year. They are short staffed this year and orders are pouring in. He goes into work around 5am and stays until about 2pm, comes home for a rest and then goes back to work its INSANE! I called back the dog school to explain the situation to them and asked if we can just come for his next lesson at the beginning of the new year. He understood and agreed that the beginning of next year would be perfect as long as we promised to work with Dallas while at home.

George takes Dallas for walks and practices the command heel and I work with him here at home. He's doing pretty good but when people first come over he's really excited. I'm hoping he can get trained to the point that when I walk in the front door after being at work all day that he doesn't just straight up jump on me for hugs and kisses. These past two days George has been taking him to the woods by our house to let him run free and Dallas LOVES it. He comes home and naps after his runs.

As much as I am dreading our snow storm tomorrow I am kind of looking forward to it. Not for me, for Dallas. He loves the snow. He hates the rain. When it snows he'll run through the yard trying to sniff UNDER the snow. He's hilarious.

George made sure my car is snow ready. Winter tires, checked all the liquid levels, full gas tank, and all that jazz. I'm ready for this snow storm but a bit scared too. It's my first pregnant winter and this is going to be a big bad storm. I was thinking my boss might call us and say just don't come in (he usually does that in these blizzards) but you have no idea how much we still have left unfinished. It's unreal the amount of things that we have to do still. Taking the day off tomorrow will really put us behind with meeting our deadlines and I just can't afford it. I can't imagine missing work tomorrow and then playing catch up the rest of the week. I already work straight through my lunch, stay at the office late, and do a lot of work when I get home. My boss makes sure my life is easy (days off for drs appointments, personal and family reasons). I've taken basically 2 months off in 2009 and never had a day of pay docked so I only feel its fair to work extra hours to make my deadlines.

Other than that I'm freaking boring, cranky, and super tired tonight so Dallas and I are going to go upstairs and watch some mindless television.

NaBloPoMo: 7/31

I'm not normal am I?

I knew from a young age I was different than most people around me. I have always had very thick skin and making me cry was something that was rare. Maybe it was caused by being teased in grade school for being ugly? I dunno, I obviously out grew that eh? LOL

Either way I'm really starting to think that maybe I wasn't wired properly. Why? Well, George and I are cheesy and we watch things like "Say Yes to the Dress" where they have brides trying on wedding dresses and of course they have to say YES to the dress so the bridal consultant can make her commission and believe me, with some brides its like mission impossible to get a yes! 90% of these bride to be chicks CRY when they find their dress. They just break down and start bawling and of course their mom/sister/aunt/cousin/entire fucking entourage cries when they see the dress on the bride to be comes out in "THE DRESS". I dunno. I didn't cry. I saw myself in my dress and said "Oh damn this looks great...but I'm going to keep on looking". And thats what I did. I continued to try on other gowns because I didn't want to buy the very first dress I tried on without continuing to look.

I went back at the end of that day and told them I'd like to buy the dress I tried on that morning. No tears, no shaky hands believing that this was actually happening. I knew I was buying THE DRESS without the water works. My sister cried. Both times. My mom cried when she went with my sister to find the dress. Me, I'm a freaking rock. I'm like "thats cool. I like it". I just don't cry.

Now that I'm pregnant and others around me are pregnant I think I'm strange still. I didn't cry when I first heard Demi's heartbeat. I just smiled and giggled a little bit, actually a lot. I think it was nervous laughter but I was excited, but not enough to bring me to tears. When I first saw Demi on the ultra sound again I didn't cry. I just told George, "Oh my god, look at our little person!" and I was happy. Over the moon, no tears. We found out that our little person was a girl and I didn't cry. I smiled and said, "I look forward to meeting you Demi."

I don't keep a pregnancy journal, I don't mark down my feelings each and every single day, and gasp, every now and then I forget to take my prenatal vitamins. I'm not a pregnancy nazi and not every single one of my conversations revolves around being pregnant, my pregnancy, or my soon to be daughter. I can talk about anything and everything. My pregnancy hasn't consumed my life. In fact, a lot of the companies that I work with (buyers, distributors, dealers) don't even know that I'm pregnant because I'm not the type that is going to shout it out from the roof tops. Believe me, I'm so happy and excited. I just can't wait for the day I give birth but does it mean that I'm not normal because I haven't allowed this to take over my life? Because I didn't cry when I heard the heart beat or when I saw her for the first time on the ultra sound? Does that mean I'm going to be a bad mom? An uncaring mom? Or God forbid a cold mom like one of George's aunts? I don't think so. I mean, I guess, I'm just pregnant but still the same great Jenny. This is just one aspect of my life that's changed and I really wish that other pregnant people would realize this. Seriously, your pregnancy isn't the only thing I want to hear about. How are YOU doing?! How is work? How is everything in your life besides your pregnancy?

It's annoying. Before you get pregnant you start to get fed up with all the questions, "So when are you guys going to have kids," "Are you trying," "When can we expect a new addition?" and then after you are pregnant you get tired of all the new questions, "Are you feeling sick?" "Do you want to know if its a boy or a girl," "Have you felt the baby move,"? My replies is "I'm fine and how are you?" It's really funny I've gotten more phone calls from family members in the past 5 months than I have in the last 10 years I've lived in Montreal.

How rare is it that I cry? When my daddy walked me down the aisle at church on my wedding day I actually HEARD people say, "Oh my God, Jenny is crying, take a picture take a picture!" or "No way, shes CRYING?!" Maybe I'll cry when Demi is born and put into my arms? Maybe I'll just smile and be speechless while looking down at the bundle of joy in my arms?

Does my lack of crying mean I'm not normal?


NaBloPoMo: 6/31

I'm Clueless

I normally know what I want to write about. Something happens to me during the day and I'll instantly say "OMG I have to write about that" but today was an unblog worthy day. Did some sleeping, went to eat, made dinner, had friends over and now I'm just relaxing at home. Pretty uneventful eh?

Tomorrow should be a pretty eventful day. My cleaning lady is coming and shes going to change the curtains in my kitchen, dinette, and family room. (My mom sent me all new curtains for those 3 rooms, new rugs and decorative towels for my bathrooms, and a new bedsheets. It's an early 2nd year anniversary gift). But I'm starting to think that putting everything up tomorrow is a bad idea. Why? Tomorrow the contractor comes to start on the renovations for the basement. I don't know. It's like one person is cleaning and the other person is making a mess and dust... just doesn't seem that normal to me but I can't tell her to not come. She really does depend on the money she makes each day to support her family. Losing $100 she gets paid can affect her bottom line and I'm not about to do that to a. a family friend b. someone who does so much more for me than she should.

I just might ask her not to change the curtains and rugs until the next time she comes because the contractor is going to be here for about 2 weeks. Then again the renovations are happening in the basement and the basement is separated from the rest of the house by two doors. The mess and dust should pretty much be contained right?

Then when thinking of doing all these home renovations I keep on thinking about how I have empty out the room that is going to be Demi's. I have to get rid of that Ikea set that George brought into this house (100% completely against my will. I wouldn't even let him assemble it because its sooo not my style and it really doesn't match the look of this house.) I have to get rid of it because I need to empty out that room and get Demi's room painted and then bring in the boxes with her furniture. It's too early to set it all up (besides I want to do that with my mommy...not the assembling but the actual putting together of the room). So far I have in storage the crib, change table, dresser, chest, nightstand, glider with ottoman, and the bassinet for my room. A lot of things have been taken off of my registery already which is so amazing and amusing. I haven't even sent out invites for the wedding shower or really told a lot of people where I am registered but all the big ticket items are already bought (playpen, bouncey swing, high chair, and car seat).

I think I'm finally getting into the nesting phase. Everytime I see a mess I have to get rid of it. I'm cooking more, looking into things that are easy to make for when Demi is here, thinking of what else I can do to make the house more child friendly and just plain ole getting that feeling. Nesting is kind of fun. I didn't think I'd enjoy nesting because lets be honest, George has done all the upkeep of the house between the times our cleaning lady comes, he's done all the cooking since I got pregnant, he does all the grocery shopping...in all he does everything while I rot my brains on the computer, reading a book, or watching television. The only thing I really do is accompany George and Dallas to doggie school. George does the walking with him and I do all of the commands (he's pretty good too. Did you guys see his birthday and Christmas pictures? He does the sit/stay so well!)

Anyway my nesting has hit and its great. My house is going to be in tip top condition until this feeling goes away...or until Demi comes along and totally kills my sleeping pattern.

Which brings me to my next thought, before I got pregnant I was completely insomniac. I'd literally go to bed around 2 or 3 each morning and thats only because I KNEW I NEEDED sleep, not because I felt it. Now, I find myself struggling to stay awake past 10pm (although these past couple of nights I've been going to bed way late). Once the baby is here will it change for me again? Will I find late nights and early mornings impossible to deal with or will I be fine with it? Will I go back to not needing sleep?

Oh the many questions I have. Oh I have a post in mind for tomorrow, just someone remind me okay? It's called "Am I normal".


NaBlogPoMo 5/31

What Makes Me Happy?

So as you all know I'm doing the daily blog posting thing for the month of December. It's actually pretty fun but some times it can be really hard trying to think of something to write. Hard as it is to believe, I don't lead the most interesting life!

Well last night Ashley tagged me to do this thing about happiness. The rules are below.

List 10 things that make you happy.
Try and do at least one of them today.
Tag 10 bloggers that brighten your day.
Link back to the person that tagged you.


1. My marriage. Seriously I can sit here and say my husband makes me happy but the truth is that my entire marriage makes me happy. I have a great supportive husband who would bend over backwards for me. We have a great relationship together, we have a wonderful home, are expecting our first little bundle of joy, have the most amazing dog. Our marriage makes me happy. The complete package.

2. My pregnancy. Truth be told I thought we were going to have problems. It took me about 6 months to get pregnant and it was really starting to worry me (of course not my husband, nothing bothers him!). After going to the doctor we found out why, I had too many follicles per ovary and my eggs weren't maturing enough. A bit of medication was prescribed and within two months I was pregnant. Besides the extreme morning sickness and complete inability to eat meat unless its covered in something else, my pregnancy has been great. I was scared because of my disease that pregnancy would leave me bed ridden but it hasn't. I've been kicking some major ass...and lets be honest, I look good pregnant. I'm not all fat and round all over, I didn't get the wonderful "pregnancy mask" which discolours your face. I'm thinner and freaking glowing! Instead of complaining when little Demi kicks me, I smile and giggle.

3. Changing the radio station when Lady Gaga's song comes on the radio. Yes that makes me happy. Some may think that Taylor Swift is over rated but I stand behind Gaga being over rated. Her music is stupid, her videos are too over the top, her clothes and attitude are just out of this world. She's a walking freak show and I don't support that crap. Sure Just Dance was a great song...after that I can't stand any music she produces and I change the station when she comes on. I smile as I press the "next" button on the radio.

4. Cooking. It relaxes me, it puts me in a great mood, and of course I feel super productive. Cooking is a way of expressing yourself. If you are feeling fancy just make something fancier, having a bad day? Make some comfort food. The kitchen is my favorite place in the house and I'm happy that the smells no longer bother me like they did at the beginning of my pregnancy.

5. My Job. Sure, I complain a lot about my job but its never a complaint about the work I do its about the people I work with. They irk me to no end but its really great to leave the office everyday knowing that you are smarter than your co-workers. That their jobs really rely on you and if you don't feel like doing something because of their lack of response time or whatever that you don't have to care. I also love my boss. He's so easy going and very understanding. I get any days off I need to deal with family, personal, or medical issues. He understands and actually CARES.

6. My family. Yeah I know they should be somewhere closer to the top but I didn't want to be completely predictable. My family drives me up the wall. My sister is the most scatter brained person I know, my mom is the most stressed person I know, and my dad is just a wonderful man but I wouldn't trade them for anything. (Occasionally I have thought about it though.) My parents are my rocks. They support me in everything that I do, they trust me, and I know that no matter what they will always be there for me. Even though I'm married my parents haven't stopped helping me out with anything. My parents are the most giving human beings I've ever met.

7. My computer. Cheesy I know but its oh so true. I moved from Texas when I was 18 years old. I did all of my schooling there and had tons of friends. I moved. Without my computer and all the good things that come with it like Skype, MSN, Facebook, Myspace etc I wouldn't be able to keep in great contact with them without breaking the bank. I love coming home after work and just unwinding while chit chatting with my friends!

8. My house. I guess its part of my marriage but honestly, just being home makes me so happy. My house is big but its also cozy. Everyone comes over and enjoys themselves. Home is where the heart is and I guess that is true for me too.

9. and 10. I'll have to get back to you on that one. I'm really at a loss as to what else makes me happy. Can't I just sum it all up and say my life? My friends and family, my house and home, my job, just everything in my life makes me happy?

I tag (this is the easy way out) everyone in my blog roll. Reading their blogs make me happy and make me smile and I believe thats the best thing one should do!

Happy Friday?

Of course, just my luck. The minute I sit down to blog my friends come over. I just told my best friend to give me some time that I have to blog because I have my commitments. Remember, part of blogging was to find time for myself because that apparently disappeared and seriously, if I have no time now just imagine what is going to happen when I have the baby.

You know how everyone says TGIF? I wasn't too pleased that today was Friday. Not because Fridays are always bad but because this Friday was just hectic. I got a bunch of stuff done but it really doesn't feel (or look) like I got a lot accomplished. My desk is still overflowing with paper work and things that need to be done. Believe me, its not fun! I spent the first two hours of my day in the office with my boss just basically reviewing everything that I did, have to do, and of course what he has to do...which is nothing! Everything in the office seems to fall onto my shoulders! It's okay though, we all realize that I thrive when under pressure.

Um wow. I wrote that and then went away for about 3.5 hours because my friends were over and we ate dinner and all that good stuff. I completely lost track of what I was talking about. I am going to blame that on my pregnancy. It's like placenta brain or something, my baby is sucking my brains out.

So my mommy called me today at work bitching for a good two hours about a situation that happened last night and it honestly pissed me off. It irked me that my mom lets things bother her, it irks me that people can't be responsible when they should. The entire world isn't going to always be there to pick up YOUR messes but hey, who am I to talk?

Anyway after work I came home and went with George to go to my mom's house to unload some things that she had sent to my sister as part of her wedding dowry and of course my mom smuggled some things in for me. :) Actually I wasn't too excited to see what she got me (things for my house, some pretty bathroom rugs and new decorative towels) but more for the things that she got Demi before we knew if we were having a boy or a girl. Well its very obvious that my mom was hoping for a boy. The outfit was brown and cream with a little airplane pilot and the other one was white with little teddybears and lions and looks pretty boyish. I mean, sure Demi can wear them because they ARE gender neutral colors but they are just boyish looking. I don't mind. I'll still put my little girl in clothes from Grammy. I'll just be sure to wear them on her when shes home... with just mommy and daddy.

So yeah, its nearly 10:40 and I totally lost the steam that I had when I started this post so I'm going to end it now and read all the great blogs that are in my google reader.

Can we add more hours to this day?

Goodness gracious! Do you people even know the meaning of busy? Just to give you a little info on how long my day has been I woke up at 5:00am and its now 11:00pm and I'm just now sitting down to blog in order to get my post done in time for Dec. 3rd! I've honestly considered hiring a personal assistant to help me out with my everyday life things especially until this work load blows over. I still have to take care of my house, get Demi's room ready, do Xmas shopping.... UGH. It's just never freaking ending! Heather has volunteered to be my personal assistant and then Demi's nanny once she is born! Isn't that swell!?

I'm not much of a procrastinator and it really irks me when other people are. Since about mid September I've been trying to get my boss and co-workers to prepare for the end of year activities we have to do. Every year the first of December we end up scurrying around to figure out what kind of corporate gifts to give to companies that we work with, prepare and send out Xmas cards, come up with a new promotional binder that has product information, price list, important contact info and all that jazz. I didn't want to scurry this year. Oh and our graphic designer is leaving for vacation on Dec. 19th and wants to quit working by the 16th.

So what happened on Dec. 1st? My boss calls me into his office for 4 hours to discuss all of these topics, changes to make, what to order for who and so on and so on. 4 hours. I had a crappy lunch delivered to me and ate it during the meeting. We took notes on what to change and of course I'm the one who puts it into action.

So I email my co-workers discussing what I need from them and giving them deadlines. Of course they ignore the deadlines yet complain if I'm like 3 minutes late replying to their emails. I re-send the email with the little "high importance" exclamation point and copying my boss on the email. Of course I then get a half assed reply from one co-worker and not from the other.

Added to all the stress of end of the year, this is the first year that my boss decided that we should send the promotional calendars from our marketing office in Canada. Oh wait, that means from MY DESK! Yes. I didn't have enough work now I need to print out over 200 labels for dealers, 200 return address labels, stuff the envelopes, seal the envelopes (thank God for self sealing envelopes), apply the labels, apply the stamps, and put them in the bucket for mailing. It's not THAT bad but it is just at the wrong time. We have so much to do before the 16th and this is soooo freaking time consuming.

To boot, I had the day off yesterday for my check up on how my little girl is developing. So of course I'm a day behind. I wanted to stay late at work today but then George called me and told me he was staying late (he owns a toy store, its X-mas season you do the math) so I had to come home to let Dallas out of his cage. George calls me at 4:30 and tells me that he's going home so I can take my time. I worked until about 7pm and eat dinner and then started working from home until 11pm. JESUS! Talk about a freaking burn out just waiting to happen.

On top of that, my head office (in Germany) has requested I have something done by Dec 4th which is like 99% impossible to get done unless I wake up early again tomorrow to start on it. I'm not looking forward to it though. Maybe I'll just work straight thru lunch tomorrow to try to get some stuff done. Even if I send it in on Monday or Tuesday it won't really make that huge of a deal right? My head office is so slow to reply to my requests why should I rush to reply to theirs?

Seriously, I complain too much right? At least I'm cute. That's my excuse for everything thats negative about me. LOL :)

So this is day two for me of NaBloPoMo and to be honest with you, I was really looking forward to blogging all day! For the first time in a long time I couldn't wait to finish up what I had to do in order to do my blog and of course read and comment on other blogs.

BTW: The entire 23 minutes its taken me to write this post my mom has been on the phone with me bitching about something. Being on the phone with her just basically means that I just have to listen and mumbled "uh huh" "yeah" while she talks...for 24 minutes straight now.

I also realize that my blog posts are just too long and since my move I've lost a lot of followers and commenters. :( Stupid poopieheads! Stupid move.

NaBloPoMo 2/31.

NaBloPoMo - A day late

So I don't know if you guys have heard of this or not but there is a thingie going around that bloggers call NaBloPoMo where bloggers will post one blog a day for an entire month. It's usually done in November but some are doing it in December. Some including me. Ari who is the most active blogger I know, Heather who has taken a long hiatus, and Ashley who was a bit spotty with her postings. So thats basically my ENTIRE blogging circle. I read a lot of blogs, have some followers but those are the bloggers I keep in touch with the most. Hopefully doing this together will help us all stay motivated. I've been so busy lately and just always feel that I never have any time for myself that hopefully NaBloPoMo will help me set aside some much needed me time!

So enough of NaBloPoMo. I did something very very interesting today. Interesting in an eerie way. Today my husband and I, along with his brother and sister in law, went to Mont Royal Cemetery (MRC) to reserve our plots. Yes, you read that right. We reserved our graves. Interesting right? Kind of freaky too? Why in the heck would I do that if I'm only 28 years old?

Well, George's mother died unexpectedly a bit under two years ago. We were all emotional and shaken up and then struggling to find a nice place to lay her to rest. On top of that, when you go to make funeral arrangements they want to charge you an arm and a leg for their services. The funeral home charges you for the wake, the flowers, the hearse, and of course the casket and of course they are going to charge you premium rates. I can honestly tell you that we paid over $30,000 to bury my mother in law because the funeral home takes advantage of you when you are in need.

Last week George's partner buried his father. They were a bit smarter about it. The father was ill and they had been expecting this for quite some time so the went to the funeral complex AHEAD of time and booked a package. They pre-paid for everything and the only arrangements they had to make for the wake and the funeral were actual small details like, "what type of floral arrangements do you want? What time do you want the funeral to be."

Of course being curious we had found a nice way to ask about how much they paid vs how much we paid and we found out that it was a lot cheaper. My sister in law called the MRC to find out if there were any graves available close to where our mother in law is buried. It turns out that they are making another circle and that there is a waiting list. When we told them that we were looking into purchasing 10 side by side double plots they bumped us on the waiting list and gave us an appointment for today. The cost of a double plot (27 sq ft) is $7,500. When we buried my mother in law it was $5,000 so basically its increasing at about $1,250 a year. Let's just do some math shall we? I'm 28 years old and plan on living until at least 80...can you imagine how much a plot would cost in 52 years? $72,500 IF there are spaces available. Okay so maybe I'm over doing it. At the meeting today we had said that in about 20 years from now these plots would be going for about $30,000. Could you imagine leaving your spouse or children with that kind of expense? George and I put 20% down on our plot and signed an interest free contract to pay it off over the next 5 years. I think its a great investment because you won't be burdening your family with these kind of decisions when you pass away.


My parents don't live in Montreal right now but they do plan on moving back here eventually. I discussed this with them and also discussed with them how the other family did an entire package and my parents were completely on board. For the time being I just put their 20% down and gave some post dated checks and when they get here in the winter they can decide on what kind of package they'd like as far as a 1 or 2 day wake, type of casket, and tomb stone they want.

I know it sounds eerie, creepy, and a bit sad but we look at it like planning for our future. Let's be honest shall we, we will all die one day. Why not be prepared? You can get taken advantage of when you are feeling extremely emotional or you can have everything prepared and you can just mourn without having all these big decisions to make.

What I found the creepiest is that one of George's cousins bought a plot for his mother, a plot for him and his wife, and one for his kids. Um your KIDS? You have two young and healthy kids. Two kids that will probably grow up and get married. Get married to people who might not want to be buried with their inlaws. Let's be honest, most times the women go get buried where their husbands are. He has one boy and one girl. Does he plan on them sharing? Give it to just one of the kids? Sell it to someone else at a later date? I dunno, I found that part really weird.

Oh lets talk about something a bit more cheerful. I went to my OBGYN today. I lost a pound (I still weigh less than when I joined Weight Watchers)but the baby is growing just fine. She kind of freaked on me (OBGYN) she was like, "I can't yell at you for not gaining weight because your stomach is growing fine, your uterus has expanded properly and your daughter is growing at a great rate (length/weight)."

1/31 NaBloPoMo