Friday, July 31, 2009

The Talk

So, those of you who have been reading my blog regularly know that I have had some issues in the past with my co-worker(s). You can read my last post for the latest as well as a link to the issue before that if you want more information.

I had also posted something on another blog about another issue with a co-worker and I listened to every one's advice, because seriously, why ask for it if you don't listen to it?

My biggest issue is related to my last post. I work with Stupid Ugly Bitch (SUB) and I hate her. This week I found myself doing a lot of things out of character such as wishing she'd get hit by a bus, trying to plot ways to make her fail at her job, dreaming of her getting run over by a steam roller and only her big head remaining, and things of that sort...Okay, so maybe its not that out of character for me but it is regarding work situations. I've always been highly professional at work.

Anyway, on Wednesday my boss came into the office and the morning was really busy so I didn't have time to talk to him. I had made a comment to my co-worker about this article on MSN about 43 strange things said during a job interview and my boss suddenly piped up, "Why are you looking for another job." I replied, "Not at the moment." We let it go for about an other hour or so.

I had a few messages I had to give to Boss so I went into his office and told him about the two calls that came in earlier in the day and about a marketing opportunity that we had. As I was turning to leave his office I said, "Hey Boss, can we talk about SUB?" He goes to me, "Do we really have to? I'm just not in the mood to talk about SUB." I said to him, "Fine, I just want you to know that I'm extremely uncomfortable at work and no longer want to be here and shes one of the reasons." and with that I broke down.

Yep. Me. I broke down at work. I actually sat in my boss' office and fucking cried like 3 year old. My boss looked at me in complete and utter shock. Quickly handed me some tissues and then got up and closed his door so that no one else could hear our conversation or see my reaction. He was shocked that something bothered me so much because I usually have very thick skin and in fact have never even shown that anything bothers me at work. I've always taken things with a grain of salt. I try to compose myself and manage to mumbled that I'm embarrassed that I'm crying at work. He says its okay to just let everything out.

I basically told him that I understand that SUB is older than me (and older than my mom too) but I do NOT tolerate someone talking down to me, treating me like I am stupid, or crossing the boundaries and attempting to do my job. If thats the case then I might as well just pack up my office and go home. He can just pay SUB to do my job too...although she's proven she'd be very very bad at it.

My boss goes on to explain to me that truthfully speaking he doesn't like SUB either but right now we are stuck with her because she is all we have on the East Coast and my boss's boss likes SUB. He told me how she annoys him and how he cannot be on the phone with her for more than 5 minutes before he wants to stick a pen in his eye, how he hates travelling with her because shes just that annoying. The unfortunate thing is that he doesn't think she will ever change. He doesn't think she will learn how to work with people and that its just her character.

I mentioned to him (I'd stop crying every now and then long enough to make full sentences and then I'd cry and then I'd have to stop...UGH!) that if she treats her co-workers like crap (another co-worker HATES her mainly because she is so condescending and bitchy) how does she treat stores? How does she work with her distributors and dealers? Boss said that its pretty much 50-50. 50% love her the other 50% could live without her. I don't think those are good numbers. I mean half of her territory could live without her? Thats HORRIBLE! Then I told my boss, "Look, I'd think I was being an overly sensitive PMSy person if I was the only one who couldn't stand her but out of 5 in the North American office 2 hate her, 1 is annoyed, 1 is indifferent and the 5th person is SUB herself. She obviously has issues working with people.

My boss and I ended things pretty well. He told me that he would have a talk with her without bringing me up. He didn't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing that she got under my skin. I told my boss that if SUB were to call my cell, text my cell, or email me at my personal email even during work hours I would not answer. My personal stuff is for people I consider to be friends (and I did clarify with him that he and my other co-workers fall into the "friends" category). I also told him that if SUB lived in Montreal we would be having this conversation from prison.

After I left his office I went to wash my face and try to put myself together before going back to my desk (he actually asked me if I wanted to go for a walk or to leave for the rest of the day just to get my head on straight again, I said I just needed a few minutes). I went back to my desk and got back to work when he came out of his office and puts his hand on my shoulder and said, "Jen, I want you to know that I always have your back. ALWAYS. I will always take your side. Next time please don't wait so long to talk to me about something bothering you."

I smiled and enjoyed the rest of my work day.

Yesterday we went for lunch and had a nice talk and did a lot of laughing but of course he asked me like 20 times "How are you, are you okay?" Oh did I mention that at one point during our conversation he says to me, "I don't mean to get personal but is there a chance that you are pregnant? I mean I've never seen you so emotional." I just laughed and said no that when things piss me off enough I cry... but when I get sad I want to hit.

SUB of course pissed me off yesterday. She was blatantly disregarding my orders and finding 20 reasons not to do her job. Oddly enough I got a response the minute I wrote to my boss and copied her on it kindly explaining to Boss how the show stopping was on a standstill because SUB thinks its outside of her job description to decide what items to pull and show at the tradeshow.

Today Boss didn't come into work but of course he sent me a text message, "How are you today." I wonder if my boss now thinks that I am mentally unstable, will that breakdown always be on his mind? He dealt with my crying well, he talked until I was ready to end the conversation but I hope he doesn't think he has to worry about me and treat me delicately.


  1. I don't think your boss thinks you're a nutter. I think he's just concerned. I don't think he wants to lose you as an employee as you are very valuable to them. I think he wants to make sure you are content enough not to quit. It probably hit him really hard when you got so emotional because you have generally shown yourself to be strong.

  2. We all break down. I cried this morning. Haha. But my boss didnt ask if I wanted to go home... it was more of a "suck it up" thing.

  3. Your boss sounds great, I don't think he thinks you're crazy or anything. That's nice that he has your back too.

    Oh and I've broken down before too... whenever I get really emotional about something, I tend to cry in front of bosses which SUCKS.

    Good luck with SUB, I hate people like that.

  4. I don't think your boss thinks you're unstable. By his behavior, I'd say he genuinely cares. I'm glad you're not alone on the SUB thing... hey, maybe if she's that old, she'll croak soon? ;)

  5. Jenny, immediately quit and then sue them for pregnancy discrimination.

  6. OK, I was just kidding above. But seriously, considering I work in risk management, I cringe (sp?) to hear a boss asking (unsolicited) an employee if she was pregnant.

    We've all broken down at work - even me, the hardened HR Guy. Sometimes it happens. It sounds like you handled it as best you could. But I'm willing to bet that things run a little smoother now that you've had this discussion with the boss...

  7. I've been there too. I broke down at work a couple of times and my boss just totally ignored me. I think it made her extrememly uncomfortable. Oh well... Anyway, I think your boss geniunely does care.


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