Saturday, July 11, 2009

If my house could talk

If my house could talk it would say a lot of things.... A LOT.

The Kitchen:

Dear George (That's Hubby) even though you have state of the art everything in kitchen there are some things that the appliances and fixtures can not do. As of yet LG has not invented a dishwasher that loads and unloads itself. Also, the dishes sitting in the sink will not automatically jump into the dishwasher. Side note from the dishwasher: George those prongs in the racks are for holding dishes. Stop putting the glasses NEXT to the prongs and instead put them ON the prongs. This will stop the glasses from breaking and your wife from yelling at you.

The kitchen table would like to let you know then when you finish eating your dinner, the olives will not magically jump into the fridge again. How is it that you can always remember to put everything away but the olives? Did they do something to offend you once?


The Bathroom:

Dear Jenny and George why oh why did you buy an all glass sink if you don't feel like cleaning me every time someone uses me? I hate having spots all over me all of the time. Maybe a porcelain sink would have been more your style considering you think cleaning is a curse. Also, George, can you please ask your father to stop peeing on the floor? The toilet is there to catch the pee and poo, not the ceramic tiles. Jenny told me that she doesn't like to always have to clean pee off the floor when he's finished.

The Laundry room:

Dear George, there are hampers in this room to throw dirty clothes and towels in. Please stop throwing dirty shit on my floor. I don't walk around your house and throw dirty things all over the place do I?

The Laundry baskets:

Dear Jenny, once your cleaning lady washes the clothes, irons the clothes, and puts them back nice and folded into a laundry basket can you please find the time to put the clothes away? You currently have 3 full laundry baskets of clean clothes in your room. Put us away PLEASE! No it doesn't count when you quickly throw your clothes in drawers when the cleaning lady shows up because you know she'll need more laundry baskets. The drawers are getting empty and the baskets are getting heavy. Please lighten the load a bit!

The Bed:

Dear Jenny, ever since you took the Michael Kors bedding off of me you no longer make the bed. Thats not fair. I'm the most disheveled room in the house and it makes me feel like I'm an outcast. The other bedrooms and furniture make fun of me all the time. How come you only straighten me out when guests are coming over or a few minutes before getting into bed? I understand that you like to sleep in a freshly made/soothed out bed but I like to enjoy the full day all made up and pretty. You don't go out for dinner with wrinkled clothes and no makeup (actually you hardly wear makeup)...well I don't like to stay home alone all day in wrinkled sheets. Please make more of an effort to make me daily....pretty please. Oh yeah, I really liked the Michael Kors bedding, can you buy me more?

That is all I can think of for now. I wasn't really in the mood to blog but I was sure I needed to. LOL



Oh a side note: I deleted a bunch of blogs that I follow due to them no longer writing things I enjoy (its always them trying to win giveaways, hosting give aways that aren't open to Canadian residents, lack of writing blogs, and finally lack of commenting on blogs. Poop on them!)

P.S. How do you guys find new and interesting blogs to follow/read/enjoy? I keep landing on the WRONG blogs! Help me find new people to read please!

7 comments:

  1. Hahah I love that your house would pretty much say the same as my apartment!

    What happened to WW? Hahah I was looking forward to reading about it!

    I find new blogs on 20sb

    ReplyDelete
  2. My apartment's mouth is duct taped shut. I dont want to listen to it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Is it duct? Or duck? I've never actually known... Duck tape is a brand of duct tape?

    I just glanced over at your fave bands. Jack's Mannequin's best cd was Everything in Transit. By far. Got me through a whole summer once. Well, them, Hot Hot Heat and Fall Out Boy.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think the bed would say more than that ;) lmao

    check out my new layout, wrote a blog on a swallow nest I found on the resto. pretty neat!

    Still trying to figure out how to link back to you from the new layout... ill figure it out shortly!

    Stephen, LGOE
    http://lastgentlemanonearth.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. My house said the same thing to me!
    Well, not exactly the same... you would have to throw the f-word in there every other word. I live in NY and my house is pissed!

    I enjoyed reading your blog.I'll be hanging out here often.

    You asked for a few recommendations on blogs... Every Wednesday I feature a sarcastic mom blog, you might want to check them out. I know you're not a mom yet but I hope you will find them as hysterical as I do.

    http://wannabeworkathomemommy.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. Omg this post made me laugh so dang hard. Especially the olives part... HA!

    Ummm... 20SB has been how I've found new blog lately. Although these days I might be at my limit, I have too many blogs to follow and any more would kill me.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dragon's Den, present your new inventions on olives from the table to the jar you will make a billion$$$$.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for the bloggy love! I promise to try my hardest to return the love! :)

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