Dumbfuck Decorder Required

So I logged into Facebook yesterday and I got a message from a girl. The title of the message was PRVITED.

Here is the message.


HEY JENNY IT D**** STELLA FRIEND HOW ARE U AM AS U KNOW STELLA B-DAY COMING UP I AM PLANNING A SUPPRISE B-DAY PARTY FOR HER I WAS THINK SUPPER AND THEN CLUBING AND I KNOW SHED WOUND LOVE TO SEE U THERE AND SEEN YOUR PLAN ON KILL HER WAT BETTER WAY THEN HER B-DAY LOL STELLA MEAN ALTO TO ME AND SHE DOES ALTO FOR MY SISTERS AND FOR MY MOMMY AND DAD AND ME AND EVEN THO SHE A BOSTON FAN I STILL LOVE HER SO I WOUND LOVE IT IF U CAN COME I WAS THINK THIS SATURDAY NIGHT I DON'T KNOW WHERE YET I LET U KNOW ON THURSDAY NIGHT I INBOX U EVERYTHING THE TIME BUT U ALL HAVE TO BE AT THE PLACE AM GOING TO SAY EALIY BECAUSE DIMITRA GOING TO BRING STELLA SHE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING THANK U AND I REAL HOPE TO SEE U THERE AND AGAING PLS DON'T TEL HER



I felt like replying:

Hi D,

I'm sorry but I seem to have left my dumb fuck decoder ring in my other jeans. Can you please call me and tell me what the fuck you are talking about? So far I've gathered that it's Stella's birthday and you are planning her a party. The rest of it is rather confusing. What is this about killing her? What is this word you keep repeating ALTO? Does Stella sing alto now? I didn't even know she enjoyed singing.

Instead I wrote back.

Hi D,

Sorry but I already have plans for this weekend. I'll see Stella soon so that we can celebrate her birthday! Sorry I can't make it. Have fun.



This is seriously a prime example of why people should NOT drop out of school. Come on man, can't you at least finish high school? I'm shocked that simple words such as a lot, again, she'd, would... can not be writen out properly. Also, didn't anyone teach her the internet rules? Typing in all capitals not only mean you are shouting but it also makes you look like a total douche bag.

So here is my friendly reminder: Be cool, stay in school!