Monday, April 20, 2009

Dear Cleaning Lady & Dear Husband:

*Open Letter to my Cleaning Lady*

Dear Cleaning Lady,

I am writing you this letter because I want thank you for the wonderful job you do cleaning my house. In fact, my house was spotless today so I decided to take pictures and post them on Facebook. You do a wonderful job. I appreciate everything you do however I have some comments that I'd like to make and hope that you do not take offense.


1. You are a cleaning lady, not an interior decorator. Can you please stop moving my vases, candle holders, and things around. Everything is put exactly where I like it. I figured you would have noticed when you come back and find it back where I originally had it instead of where you have moved it. I swear, it looks good the way I have it.

2. Please stop doing my laundry. I know this sounds ungrateful but I really prefer to do my own laundry. I'm very picky about how things are washed and the bleach in the laundry room is only for using to clean, not actually wash my clothes with it. I don't wash anything with bleach. That's right I don't even wash my whites with bleach because over time it makes things turn yellow, it melts the clothes and pretty please stop washing things in hot water. I love my clothes and wash them with black to retain their color and there are a lot of things I won't throw in the dryer. I love that you are doing this extra thing free of charge but please, I'd rather do it myself.

3. Please do not redo/reorganize my kitchen cabinets. I have things organized in a way that I can find them. I also don't like coming home to find my unopened bag of sugar open and now in a really huge plastic tub that takes up more room then the bag of sugar did. I would understand if it was an open bag and it went into a smaller Tupperware to save space but this thing is massive. Also, don't open my pasta bags and put them in Tupperware. I use my Tupperware for other things. Like, for storing things in my fridge that are already cooked or to send food to my father in law.

4. You know those bottles of infused oil I have on my counter every time you come? No its not because I cooked the night before and forgot to put them back. Those infused bottles are beautifully decorated (hand painted) and have wonderful seasonings inside to make the bottle pretty. It belongs on the counter so its a decoration AND its handy for when I cook. Would it make sense to cook in the kitchen and keep my pots and pans in the bathroom? Nooooope! It also doesn't make sense to have my infused oils in the cabinets. They need to be handy.

5. Please stop putting Dallas' shampoo in the shower. My husband tends to be pretty bobo-ish at times and I'd hate for him to suds up his head with puppy shampoo. Dallas is the only one who uses the bath tub therefore we have his puppy shampoo next to the tub on the shelf thing. I've personally never used puppy shampoo but I don't think I want to know what it is going to feel like if it accidently gets into my eyes? Or imagine my husband goes out and all of a sudden these dogs start chasing him because they smell a freshly washed puppy?

6. The book that is on my night table really shouldn't be put back on the book shelves. I have a hard time finding my book when you do that. Is it under my coffee table in the living room? Is it on one of the book shelves in the junk room? Oh dear lord, please tell me you didn't put it in the basement. It's completely undone down there and to be honest with you, I'm scared to see it!

That is all I have for you. If you have any complaints about me and BooBoo just let me know and I'll work on it. I'd really like it if you could work on these as well and our mutual working relationship will prosper!

Thank You,



*Open Letter to Husband*

Dear BooBoo,

I love you very much and I have very few complaints. If you could work on these two things I'd love you even more.

1. Please for the love of God do not wash clothes. I went to take Dallas' Montreal Canadiens blanket out of the dryer this morning and I found that not only did you wash that but you washed our throws (one brown and one white) with kitchen towels (white) and some black socks and a blue shirt of yours. Honey, you have to wash like colors with like colors.

2. When you walk in through the front door or garage door there is a closet or coat rack and shoe racks. Please put your shoes and jacket there. Do not use my kitchen chairs as a coat rack or the wall between the garage door and the kitchen as a shoe area. I almost tripped on your shoes coming into the house today. Please put your jackets and shoes away or slowly you will notice you own less and less things :)

Love,

Your wifey!

9 comments:

  1. LOL! Cute!!! I would soooo love to have someone do my laundry! (but not your husband! haha!)

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  2. Omg! Lol, you are too funny :)

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  3. LOL! Dude, you're better than me. I'm weird though, I refuse to let anyone do my laundry and if anyone does my laundry without my directions, I am furious. But you handled this very well and you get my props =D

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  4. There are few people who actually admit how much a housekeeper can help them. A housekeeper can help you clear your schedule and do more important things.

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  5. Mine would read as follows:

    Dear family,

    I love you, but if you leave your shoes out one more time, or panties, or work shirts, or pairs of socks, or little pieces of paper with glue stick on them that attach to my socks, or anything else that I have just cleaned up the night before, I will transform into Medussa Screaming Monster and I am not responsible for what comes out of my mouth or what objects find its way in the garbage can. Also, if you see a bonfire late at night in the field next to our house, it just may be those offending items.

    Your wife/mother/fellow house abider,
    Kearsie

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  6. My maid did those same things! Needless to say, I decided it's less work to clean the house myself. :))

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  7. Why don't they ever use the coat racks and shoe racks ?

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  8. I want a housekeeper... In my world, I am the housekeeper and it's the anti-fun haha

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  9. I love this blog!!!! I am the same way when it comes to that stuff.

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Thanks for the bloggy love! I promise to try my hardest to return the love! :)

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