Travelling with Children

It's not easy to travel with children, especially if you are ALONE. You have to handle your child, your luggage, carry on bags, diaper bags etc. It's freaking stressful. When D was three months old we took our first flight from Montreal to Dallas. I was able to handle it pretty well, especially because my daddy flew to Montreal just to fly back to Dallas with me :) He toted D around in her bucket seat, I took care of checking us in and everyone at the airport was especially helpful when they saw D and passed us through customs quickly, let us board first etc. It was great.

Then D and I flew from Dallas to Fort Lauderdale. We did that trip on our own. The airport staff was great. Since I was travelling alone they helped me get thru security "Can I get that for you?" "Do you need help" were things I heard often. They were great. At one point I was struggling to carry D in her bucket seat and the diaper bag down the walk way from the boarding gate to the plane. A very nice business man asked me if he could carry something for me in order to help me out. He carried D in the bucket seat right to our assigned seats and even strapped her into the seat. He told me, "My wife used to travel with the kids alone and I know its hard. I hate to see a mother struggle." I thought that was sweet. He also helped me off the plane with baby D and made sure I had my stroller before he took off. I pushed the stroller a few feet before my husband magically appeared.

I have yet to make the jump to "international" travel (for some reason US/Canada isn't considered international). But if I were to travel outside of this continent I would make sure of a few things. One of those things would be the car seat laws. I know that that US isn't the most strict with their laws but its also not the most lenient. What are the laws where we are traveling? Are they completely absurb?

Example: I had a friend travel to Greece this summer. She informed me upon her return that the entire time she was in Greece her one year old (14.5 month) daughter was not in a car seat. That Greece's car seat laws are if the kid can walk they could be restrained by a normal seat belt. Uh? What?

So I did what any normal person would do. I googled the shit out of that. Google informed me that while Greece is great in welcoming kids they are horrible at protecting them and probably have some of the most lax car seat laws BUT they still exist. The law states that unless a child is 3 years old and 135cm that they can not ride in a car without proper restraints UNLESS in a bus or taxi. 3 years old?! Isn't that a little...ummm...not right? Man, here in Canada I have cousins that have kids that are 7 in still in booster seats due to their small size etc. 3. That is it in Greece. Three years old and you can be restrained by a seat belt that is made for adults. Sure, who cars if you get decapitated or squished by air bags....

I kinda of let it go. I pretended not to care but I can't do that. I do care. I care about my child enough to say "screw you Greece laws". Greece may say that by law a 3 year old can be strapped into a normal car seat but I'd rather follow the laws of where I'm from. You know, laws from somewhere more concerned with safety. Greece may be the birth place of democracy, philosophy, politics, math, science but they also get the crown for being the birth place of crazy driving, unmarked roads, horrible car accidents due to bad driving and unmarked roads.  Basically, its not a place I want my child to be sitting in a car completely unprotected.

I totally get that its hard to change the minds of older people from generations about certain things. My mom never had to be in a car seat when she was growing up in Greece and when she brought me home from the hospital in Montreal she was holding me in her arms, in the front seat of the car, smoking a cigarette. Uh, guess what. Times have totally changed. We don't get in cars with our children unrestrained, we don't smoke in our cars with our children, we dont sleep with our front doors unlocked either. Times have changed people.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm just smarter than that. I mean, as parents we don't really need laws to tell us what is acceptable and not right? Like, is there a law that says "Don't let your child drink bleach" I don't think there is (I could be wrong) but even without a law I know its wrong/not good. I don't need a law that says "Hanging a child upside from a ceiling fan is strictly forbidden." I kinda know that its not something you do.

So have you traveled with your child recently? Had you come across some laws or situations that you found completely insane?

(btw for all you rear facing fanatics, in Sweden there is a car seat that allows you to rear face until 55lbs!)

Wordless Wednesday

words are not needed to get this point across...

The Porn Star Secretary

So the other day I check my email from my phone. There was an email that must have been forwarded 10,000 times as I kept reading comments like, "Oh my gosh. How disgusting. I'd be enraged if this happened at my child's school." "Why suspended with pay they should have fired her." And things of that sort. The subject of the email was "Can you believe it"? I get to the bottom of the email and there is a link. Great. I decided not to read it until I could check my email from home because these are usual videos or something.

When I get home I went to the computer and click on the link. It brought me to the following news article about a secretary at a school in Quebec in which a secretary was suspended for two weeks with pay because she used to be an internet porn actress. The school board has two weeks to decide if they should fire her or not and she has worked there with no incidents for the past two years.

I read the article and re-read the article trying to understand where everyone's outrage was coming from. Why is everyone so upset? How could everyone just judge this woman and think that firing her is the solution. Maybe she is a single mother who was struggling to make ends meet and couldn't put food on the table without doing some porn. Sure, maybe you wouldn't do porn if you were in this position, maybe you would get a job flipping burgers at a McDonalds...that isn't the point. The point is that this woman did what she felt she had to do in order to make a living.

I wrote an email back to everyone, yeah I hate those people who Reply All but I felt everyone had to read my reply, my reply was this:

 I don't get the anger. She's an adult working on the side to make money. She ISN'T a teacher and to boot, its on an ADULT site. Therefore the PARENTS aren't doing their job if their children are navigating to those types of websites.  If you can't monitor what your kid does online then the issue is much deeper than a school employee being an adult film actress.

Everyone seemed to have missed the point that this woman was an ADULT. That these videos were on an ADULT website. The children in the school she worked technically shouldn't have access to websites like that. (In Quebec a high school considered grade 7 to 11, therefore roughly 12 to 17 MAX).  This woman broke NO laws.

So later on that evening my sister in law (who originally sent me the email) called me to let me know that she really didn't understand how I couldn't be upset over this. I said it was simple, an adult woman chose to make a decision in star in adult videos. She isn't affecting my life or my child's life in any way and shouldn't lose her job over that. She came back with something that blew me out of the water. "Yeah well I bet you that woman saw a pretty girl in the school and told her, 'Hey if you want to make some money I have an offer for you' and then proceed to offer her a job in a porn." I was floored. Really? So the article says she broke no laws (I'm fairly certain that offering a MINOR a job in a porn is breaking some sort of law) and in the time that she had been working for the school did nothing to raise any flags. I told my sister in law that making assumptions like that make an ass out of her. Let's be honest, if I had to do something like sell my body to put food on my table, I wouldn't want to recruit a child into that industry....I'd try to SHIELD a child from that!

I told her a story of a girl in high school who got pregnant and knew her parents would flip. You know what she did? She claimed she was RAPED ON CAMPUS during a Saturday practice in a locker bank. Yeah, she did that. In the end it came out that she wasn't raped and that she lied, and they pressed charges against her for filing a false report. So yeah, its really possible that NOW after this secretary is exposed someone can make up a lie and be like "Oh she told me to be in a porn with her" but how come no one said anything PRIOR to this? Oh...that is because she DID NOTHING WRONG!!

Another thing I suggested to my sister in law was this: Someone we both know, a father of three, was convicted of drinking and driving. His license was suspended for a period of time, he has a breathalyser in his car, and isn't allowed to cross the border into the United States. Would it be fair one of his kid's friends's parent to say, "Oh sweetie you can't go to THAT friend's house because her father is an alcoholic and offers alcoholic drinks to underage kids....and the only reason that your friend goes to school is so that she can make friends with kids and bring them home to create more alcoholics." Sure sounds stupid when you say it that way right? First of all just because someone drinks and drives doesn't make them an alcoholic, it means someone made a mistake. It could be that they ARE an alcoholic, it could be that they didn't realize how much they drank, it could be that they do it all the time and this is the only time they got caught...it could be many things. Secondly, just because someone is convicted of drinking and driving (or just because someone is an alcoholic) does NOT mean that they offer alcohol to minors.  Doing harm to yourself doesn't mean you want to do harm to others....its a completely different story if they are drinking and driving with their families in their car! Thirdly, the kids go to school in order to get an education, not to find future alcoholics!

I got a reply to my email (another reply all) that stated:

I AGREE WITH JENNY ON THIS ONE…………….SHE IS TRYING TO MAKE A LIVING, JUST LIKE THE REST OF US……SHE’S DOING HER JOB AT THE SCHOOL, AND AS JENNY SAID, IF CANNOT MONITOR YOUR CHILDREN AT THAT AGE, THEN YOUR IN TROUBLE!!!!


I said nothing because I knew there would be other replies..... Here came a good one.....

On the topic of secretary and adult porn.........yes, she as an adult has every right to do what she does.....hey, our proffesions sure don't make that kind of money and no one knows her situation.

The only thing is.......when it comes to porn, drugs, etc.......(adult stuff) it should never be around miners........and no teacher/administrator should work with children when you have a shady job! You will see young moms, as your kids grow older.......and they are aware of things like that.....you will do anything to protect htem and to have them sheltered. Yes, we do our best as parents to always know what our kids are watching/going/doing.........but as they grow older.....they find ways.....to do things out of our reach......and you might think that you will always know what your kids are doing........BUT they will always find a way........Mothers with teenage kids and older.......know that far too much.

Teenagers especially, are very volrunable........some come from broken homes.....difficult times and a pretedor of any kind......can offer help in a negative setting......after all........this secretary feels that adult movies are ok to do........do we all feel like that? Do we all, no matter how tough our financial situtation are....would we do that???? Not that many of us......we would get a tough job.....like stupid that we are.....just to make an honest living........

You can never say......the state of mind of this secretary and the agency she works for........she was put in a high school setting just to be a pretedor for young girls who are weak.......and you might think that I am paranoid......call it that. I have teenagers.......and I hear horor stories........there are some kids that have to do things......in order to get by......because they have parents.......who don't give a shit........So, if they are offfered something that is promising.....

So ladies......that are my thoughts........and if you have a something in your closet.....go girls go! LOLOLOLOLOL



I found it hard to take that last reply seriously. Let's be honest, you can't spell for shit therefore why in the hell would I take what she has to say seriously? To assume that all teenagers that come from broken homes are vulnerable is stupid.  To assume that the secretary was put in a high school to prey on young women is also stupid.

So as it turns out (via on the news therefore I have no link) the secretary decided to QUIT her job at the school and find another job. She NO LONGER did the videos, she had done them many years ago when internet porn was just starting out...she hadn't done one in YEARS AND YEARS! Oh, and although the article states that children in the school were talking about the secretary in the porn videos it doesn't mention how the topic came up.... A PARENT went into the school to take care of some business and HE recognized HER from the videos that HE watched. HE felt uncomfortable with her in his child's school so he told his kid about it and asked his kid to talk about it with his/her friends in order to get the word to spread like wild fire.

So in response to the email above about:

"and a pretedor of any kind......can offer help in a negative setting......after all........this secretary feels that adult movies are ok to do"  

As a parent he choose adult movies are okay to watch. Maybe he is a predator to children and maybe he shouldn't be allowed to have children. I mean, what if he leaves porn movies stored on the family computer hard drive and exposes his children to these awful vile things?

So, what do you think? Would you be up in arms about this? Would you want the secretary fired although she broke no laws?

Are we a weaker race now?

Well well well. What do we have here. Me...blogging? Hell must have frozen over....or wait, maybe I just found a few minutes to myself? I think its the latter no?

I've had this topic in my head for a while and then I finally decided to just go for it. You know what it is? It's about how freaking sensitive we've become as a "people". Everyone gets their panties in a bunch over the smallest thing. They take something not aimed towards them as an attack towards them, their race, their religion, their sex, their sexuality or whatever. It's like, Get over it already! Not only that...are we weaker as a race? As society?

What do I mean? Well...you must be living under a rock if you haven't seen Jersey Shore. All of a sudden all Italian Americans got all offended that they were being misrepresented. Yes...the entire world must think ALL Italians act like horny walking STDs.... When I watch that show do I assume that every Italian likes to be called a guido or guidette? Do I assume they all travel with a carry on full of BRONZER? Do I assume they all like to drink up a storm and will fuck anything that has two legs and a warm hole? Um no. What do I think? I think it makes for some seriously entertaining television. I think that these kids are making asses of THEMSELVES and portraying themselves in a way that I'm sure in 5 years they'll be embarrassed by. If ANYONE watches that show and decides to lump all Italians into one big group...well...how do you put it nicely? They are FUCKING DUMB....Yeah that just about covers it! (Oh and maybe someone should let them know that the majority of the cast are NOT Italian...)


Moving on...


Another hot topic is peanut free schools. Do I get it? Yeah, I can totally get it but at the same time I don't. I realize some people are deathly allergic to nuts but how exactly is it the fault of everyone else?! *Collective gasp* Yeah I said it. I'm sorry when I was in school people were allergic to nuts and they never made our schools peanut free. In fact if you forgot your lunch or lunch money at home the school provided you with....a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and milk! Yes the SCHOOL GAVE OUT PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES! Well what if you are allergic? Um, you speak up and say "I'm allergic can I have a grilled cheese instead!?" Yeah its that simple. Please don't tell me that young kids won't know better. A family friend came over to visit us when Demi was first born. They brought their 3 year old. I said hi to her and she said this, "Hi I'm Eva and I'm allergic to nuts.." THREE YEARS OLD! Right away I knew what NOT to offer her. Did I still leave the nuts out for the adults. I sure as hell did. They, as parents, are responsible for their child. They shouldn't allow their kid to eat nuts...not stop everyone else from having nuts.

If we think about it a lot of people are now being diagnosed with Celiac disease, the inability to breakdown/digest gluten. Do they insist that the school become gluten free? What about those who are allergic to penicillin... do we insist none come into the school?

I think every parent should properly pack their child's lunch. I think the parents should explain to the kids about allergies and the dangers of trading a sandwich or snack with a kid...a kid should know what they are allergic to and just not eat anything with it. Why should the entire school become peanut free?

Was it that allergies weren't that dangerous when I was in grade school? Is it that the school board just didn't give a flying fuck? Maybe our parents didn't care enough about us to insist the school become peanut free? Oh wait, maybe we were just a bit tougher back then and we weren't babied to death. We were supposed to know what could harm us and not harm us...


Okay maybe this one will make you hate me...Why do we coddle our children sooooooo much? What do I mean? The smallest thing happens to our kids and then we think "they need professional help" "they need to speak to someone"... I totally get it if something tragic happens, a parent dies, they are sexually assaulted or whatnot. But NOT EVERYTHING WARRANTS FACE TIME WITH A SHRINK!!

There are two teenagers that I know that have had some medical issues. Nothing that can kill them, not cancer, just medical problems. Guess what? Their doctors recommended they talk to a child therapist in order to discuss how they are feeling because apparently being sick can make you sick in the head. Yeah. I said it. I'm a bitch.

When I was 13 years old I was diagnosed with an immune disease that affects my muscles and my use of said muscles. Which muscles? Every single freaking muscle. This is something that would affect my every day life. I had to make changes. I had to take medication...wait, let me rephrase that...I HAVE to make changes, I HAVE to take medication. Do you know how we dealt with that? I went home from the doctor with my dad. I EXPLAINED TO MY PARENTS what the doctor said best I could (old fashioned Greek parents that totally aren't getting what immuno-suppressants and nerons etc are) in some kind of horrible translation, I explained what the medication would do, and we made the changes that we needed to. If I was having a bad day (pitying myself) I'd talk to my mom or sister about it. I'd bitch. I'd complain. I'd read. I'd listen to music. I coped. Nowadays, this type of thing could harm a child. It can make them hate themselves. They need PROFESSIONAL freaking help.

Were we expected to be tougher back then? Did our parents not care about us? Did the doctors not care about us? Was my (and other children patients) mental health not a concern to the doctors? Do we know more today about how certain things can affect a child's mental health then we did back when I was 13? Or is it that we are just softer as a whole. We coddle our children more don't let them develop a thick skin. We don't let them deal with issues. We try to protect them so much that by the time they get out in the real world they are going to be completely and totally fucked up. They aren't going to know what hit them.


I dunno, maybe I'm a bitch but I think that we just coddle EVERYONE, adults and children alike, way too much and its making for a softer, weaker, overly sensitive population. :(

Oh so tired.

I think I'm going to make this my theme song. I'm so tired. Sheesh I'm tired. Damn I'm exhausted. Wow, I'm beat. Yep pretty much sounds like things I can be heard saying over the last FOREVER. I'm just sooooo tired all the time.

You know how Sundays are meant to be the relaxing days? Yeah, not so much. It seems like Saturday is the running around day and Sunday is the do home errands day. Well today consisted of baking and I can honestly say I'm tired from doing that. I made two batches of fudge, 2 batches of greek shortbread cookies, and 2 batches of chocolate chip cookies. Oh word of advice, if you are baking be sure that you don't have people over because they tend to eat a lot of cookies and then it doesn't even look like you made that many because so many are chilling in their tummies...I'm just saying.

So after baking all day we decided to order dinner. Well that was a crappy idea. I called to place the order at 6:15 and was sold that the food would arrive between 30 and 45 minutes. Yeah, dinner got here at 8pm. You'd think there was a blizzard or something outside but it was just normal snow fall. Like 1 to 3 cm. We got the food for 50% off but seriously, it wasn't worth it. By the time the food got to us what was meant to be hot was cold, what was meant to be cold was hot, the pitas were soggy because the tomatoes had been left cut on the sandwich for too long. All in all, I would have rather eaten fudge for dinner but my husband doesn't seem to think that its healthy for me or Demi. I can tell you that Demi liked the sliver of fudge a lot more than then food she ate. Oh, maybe thats me talking and not Demi.

So I've been reading people's blogs and following them on twitter and I think to myself "These people are freaking crazy!" What people? The pregnant ones. The ones who ask 80 million questions about their pregnancy, the ones who I am CONVINCED are only having "phantom" symptoms of various things. Ones who want to feel something because they think they should or because everyone else is. Yeah it bothers me. Like sure, I have pregnancy questions too but I don't bother the whole net with them. Either I troll the internet for medical journals to answer my questions or I call my OBGYN who is not only amazing but her assistant knows SOOOOO much. I always get an answer right away. If the assistant doesn't know then the doctor personally calls me back before the end of the day.

On Friday I kind of avoided blogging and being on the internet because in all honesty I started to get paranoid. Normally Demi kicks me a lot but on Friday she was rather still. I started to wonder a million things, mainly "Is something wrong". Instead of posting it on FB, my blog, and twitter I sat online and did some research. Turns out that for as far long as I am its very normal for Demi not to always be active. It's after 28 weeks that I should be concerned if I don't feel her move too much. I read on the internet but I was still a bit freaked out so I called our Info Sante number (Health Info) and spoke to a live nurse who told me its very normal. If I was really freaked out I could try to push on various places on my tummy to try to get a reaction out of her. I did that and I laid on the couch on my side and suddenly my little soccer player was on fire.

I guess my point is that while although Twitter, Facebook, and blogs are meant to be an outlet and a good place to get advice, I wouldn't trust my babies health or life to it. Sure a lady in North Carolina might have experienced something similar and thinks its normal while a lady in Texas never did and thinks its horrible and I should rush to the hospital. Social networking sites and blogs really shouldn't take the place of a health care professional.

Okay enough ranting. I'm going to lay down because very soon I'm going to fall asleep at the computer. Part 2 of baking commences tomorrow.

NaBloPoMo: 11/31

Raising Children In Today's Society

I am going to apologize in advance if this blog post is slightly buzzy. I got to leave work early on Tuesday due to a power outage and I spent the entire day (11am to 10pm) in my pool in the sun. Wednesday was a Quebec Holiday (They call it St. Jean Baptise, a day they get to liberate themselves but I call it French Separatist Holiday...hey I don't mind.. I get a free day off because of them) and again, I spent the entire day in the pool in the sun. I'm exhausted, I'm sun burnt, and I want to fall asleep at my desk but I can't help myself. I have to get some things off my chest.

Please forgive me if this post is buzzy and lack my usual wit and off the wall comments.

********

Raising kids is hard. It's always been hard but I think its getting harder and harder with each passing day. How can I say this when I don't even have kids yet? Because I'm a very observant person and I notice thing. I watch the trends and I like to keep up with the kids in my family (combining mine and George's family we probably have about 50 kids under the age of 18). I know that listening to parenting advice from someone with no kids sounds foolish but you know what...I know what I'm talking about.

My husband is 15 years older than me therefore the people in that particular circle of friends are all older and have teen aged kids. When the parents talk to the children the kids often shoot back with something like "Gosh, you dint even remember what its like to be a teenager. Times have changed". That's when I pipe in with something along the lines of "Well, I've been there pretty recently and what you are asking for is completely out of line". The kids from that circle of friends/family respect me because I am closer in age to them and I kind of walk that thin line of authority and friend. I try to see things from their perspective and from the parent's perspective. I play the Devil's Advocate for both sides.

Well recently I'm finding that this balance can't exist anymore. I can't be a Devil's Advocate for the kids anymore. They want crazy ass unreasonable things. They have no respect for their families, their friends, and most importantly for themselves.

One of my posts from Monday mentioned how one of the boys had a girlfriend who cheated on him...and how he is willing to sweep that under a rug which is something I can not stand. But I'm not supposed to know about this so I can't say anything to the kid right? I'd be betraying A LOT of people by being all "hey I heard your girlfriend is a slut..."

Well we had a pool party at my house for the above mentioned French Separatist holiday. The boy, Dan, asked me if he could invite his girlfriend, Marie, over to my house. Since I know nothing, I couldn't very well say no. I said yes. The girlfriend had her parents drop her off and then that's when I got disgusted.

Shortly after being at my house, Marie strips down to her swim suit in order to go swimming (normal) and that's when I notice a tattoo on her thigh/butt area (not normal). Let me explain why its NOT normal. MARIE IS 15 YEARS OLD. Do you know what that means? It means that Marie's mother or father went with her and signed a paper saying that they allow the tattoo parlor to permanently ink their child. 15. Fucking 15 years old. FIFTEEN! At 15 years old I was too fickle to thin of something that I'd want to be on my body for the rest of my life...I still am. A 15 year old girl with a tattoo is TRASHY. I don't care if I get hate mail about this. It's TRASHY. It's DIRTY & DISGUSTING.

Then I thought about. One one hand these parents have Marie in a private school that they pay good money for, she is getting top marks in all of her classes, and they encourage her to do well in school. Bravo for them. It's great right? But on the other hand they take their kid to get tattooed. Are you not sending different messages to your child? They also allow Dan to spend the night at their house...in the basement....alone with their daughter. There are two completely different messages being sent to this kid. Basically, do well in school and you can be as skanky as you want to be...but you have to get good marks!?

But wait, it goes on! After being in my pool for a while they start to make out. Um, there are 25 people at my house. A good portion of them are younger (11 to 16) not to mention Dan's FAMILY MEMBERS. I told my husband to say something since it would make more sense coming from him. He said kids are kids and if Dan's parents are going to say anything why should he? I said, "Because its your house and I don't approve. I don't care if his parents don't care if they are making out. My house my rules." Hubby says nothing because he doesn't want to be the bad guy.

Instead of telling Dan and Marie and embarrassing them I told Dan's mom that I want her to talk to them to stop making out in my pool, around my pool, in my house or whatever. It is disrespectful to my home, myself, my husband, his cousins, and most importantly, his mother. No mother wants to see her kid making out. I'm sorry but I'm 27 (for 3 more days...) and I don't make out with my husband in front of my mother. I have respect for myself, my parents, and their rules. I told Dan's mom that I thought that both kids were being disrespectful. She told them and they stopped. But that's when I thought of something.

When I was younger and would go to my boyfriend's house for the first few times I was so timid. I barely wanted to hold my boyfriend's hand in front of his parents and meanwhile Marie thinks its perfectly fine to make out with her boyfriend at some one's house that she'd never met. Who does that? Who meets someone at their house and then makes out right there in the pool in front of 23 other people!? WHO?!?!

Apparently kids in today's society. They see NOTHING wrong with that. They think its normal or some way of claiming the boy or girl as their own. It's disgusting and will NOT be tolerated in my home. The same rules I'll have for my children extend to my nieces and nephews and friend's children. This is my home, not some random brothel.

*******

The way kids dress today is unnerving. Okay, not all kids but a lot of kids. Everything is so short and so revealing. It leaves nothing to the imagination (not that people should be imaging what a 15 year old girl looks like underneath her clothes) and to put it bluntly, is cheap looking.

I understand that parents don't really go shopping with their teenagers anymore because the teens don't want to be at the mall with their parents but when you kid comes home with shopping bags do you not check what is in there? Daisy dukes aren't right for anyone, especially young teenagers. Stilettos with metal spikes..NOPE! Those should be reserved for the strippers, not the teenagers. Short ruffly skirts that basically only hide the pounai hairs is NOT right for a child.

Parents when your kids come home you MUST go through their bags and see what they purchased. Do you really want your kid to be walking to the ice cream parlor down the street from your house and everyone thinking your kid is a street walker? Should girls that young dress so provocatively? I don't think so. Kids need to be covered up. I agree they can't walk around in turtle necks and jeans all day but why can't they get normal shorts instead of those daisy dukes? Why can't their skirts come a little lower on their thighs? Why are their tank tops so low cut and tight?

A huge problem in what kids wear is when the parents don't agree. If dad is saying that something shouldn't be in their house because its inappropriate and then mom says well all the kids are wearing it, its normal, let them express themselves...the kids never get the right idea. They think dad is wrong and a tyrant bastard while mom is totally awesome and cool.

You are sending mixed messages to your children. Get with your spouse and speak about what is and isn't allowed in your house and enforce the rules. Or let the kid buy what they want and don't let them wear it outside of their bedroom.


*******

I'll keep this section very short. You should always set an example for your child. I am sorry but you cannot drink, get drunk and then get behind the wheel of the car and preach to your kids about drinking and driving. Lead by example.

My husband likes to drink his Chivas and you know what...I don't mind. He never drinks and drives. I'm always the sober one when we go out because I'm not really a big drinker. I can have fun naturally without getting drunk off of my tree. I told him that once we have children he can't drink to the point where he is drunk. The last thing I want is for my child to turn around and tell me "Mommy, why is daddy always drunk?" Or for my teen aged son to tell me, "Well why can't I have a drink, dad has had 4 and Uncle Tony had 6". I believe in leading by example.

Set an example for your children and practice what you preach. Don't be a hypocrite.


*******
A blogger Constant Complainer commented on my last post Even More Cheating, about how TV shows such as Sex and the City promote this kind of behaviour. In a way I agree and in a way I don't agree. In a post on Complainer's website I mentioned how TV shows, movies, news, video games, music etc CANNOT be used as an excuse for violence or stupidity.

When I was growing up my parents taught me the difference between a TV show and real life. I never got the impression that if I wiggled my nose that something could appear. I never thought that I could spin/roll myself into a blue ball of fury and collect coins and jump on my enemies and be a winner. I never thought that the shows on HBO were real and never wanted to model my life off of them. Growing up I had cable in my room. Probably from the time I was 6 years old. My parents never felt the need to put those parental supervision things on my tv. They knew that I knew what I should and shouldn't be watching. As I got older I would stop with the Nick Jr., Nickeloden, and Nick at Night and went over to Showtime, Cinamax, and HBO. I always knew what I was watching and new it was fiction (although some of the things happen all the time in real life settings (Sex and the City, OZ, Dangerous Women).

I would never go to prison and shank someone because "Beecher did it to Keller", and I wouldn't cheat on my husband because "Big did it with Carrie". So using a tv show, movie or anything along those lines as an excuse is incredibly absurd. These things are dramatized for more and more ratings.

People have to learn how to think for themselves.



The end. Please comment! :)

So this morning I am sitting at my desk trying my hardest not to blog about what pissed me the hell off yesterday at church and I decided to get on Facebook. One of my therapies is to read blogs using Networked Blogs.

Well the lovely Mary McCarthy over at Pajamas & Coffee posted a blog on the Mommy Wars. It reminded me of something that I had written over the holidays on my Facebook "notes". I'm reposting it here as it got a lot of feedback on Facebook and it goes so well with what Mary had to say, although she posted in more more eloquent words then my angry self ever could!

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Okay so this isn't really a bitchfest or anything like my last note but this is something that gets on my last freaking nerve. The subject of HOW to raise your children, to be exact, should you or shouldn't you put your children in daycare.

I think that this is a very personal subject and its not up to someone else to judge what is right or wrong for your family. Some families can afford to have the mother stay at home for 10 years to raise the kids while other families can barely manage for the mother to stay home for 10 days. It's not up to you or me or anyone else to decide what is best for the kids or best for the family.

It seems that everytime we are at a family get together this subject comes up. One of my very overly righteous aunts goes on and on about how her daughter has sacrificed for her children by not working since she was first pregnant....over 12 years now. And how said aunt didn't go work for 9 years after she first started to have children. She believes that its the ONLY way to raise children. "If we were able to make do years and years ago why can't you guys make do now."

That irks me to no end. Maybe you were able to make do because you were used to having less. Maybe you were able to make do because your expenses weren't the expenses that people have today. Maybe your daughter is able to make do because she lives in her mother in laws duplex for free? Maybe all of that is why you think that staying home for years on end doing nothing is PROPER and RIGHT for children.

I dunno, I mean, I want to have children and I love children to death but I don't think that I have to give up everything in the world to raise them. I know that sounds wrong but I can't find the right words to say it in. I went to school and got an education to get my career. I love my career and I love my pay. Because of my pay and my husband's pay we were able to get ourselves a very nice house and we have a certain lifestyle that we want to maintain and do the same for our children. Just because I have kids doesn't mean I want to stop wearing designer clothes or drive lower end cars... I want to have that still. I want to have my kids living in a nice and spacious house, I want to drive my nice car still, I want to dress myself and my children in nicer clothes and if that means that my kid has to go to daycare so that I can go to work I will.

The government of Quebec gives you 1 year materinity leave when you have a child. You can take two years but only have one year paid but you are still guaranteed your position back at your job. I plan on doing that or going back to work after 18months. I don't see a problem with children going to daycare. I don't think its wrong, I don't think its abandonment. I do have a problem with parents who take their kids to daycare at 7am and pick them up at 6pm and spend no time with their children....at the same time I have a problem with stay at home moms who just talk on the phone all day and pretty much ignore their children.

But all that being said, I don't think that anyone has the right to say what people should or shouldn't do with their kids regarding daycare. If you want to stay home for 15 years, thats your decision. If you want to stay home for 3 years, thats your decision. If you can only stay home for 6 months thats up to you. You do what you have to do for your children and no one has the right to say anything.

I can't wait to have kids and have my aunt say something about it. I'll have a few choice words for her :)