Conversations with my sister in law

First of all, I want to say sorry for just dropping off the face of the earth. It really does feel like there isn't enough time in each day to do everything that I say I would like to do. I make a list of things I want to blog about and sort of just don't get to it by the time I have some "me" time. After I put D to bed I just want to unwind by reading a book, watching tv, writing or just vegging out. I hate that I put my blog last but sometimes relaxing my brain is the most important thing. :)

That being said I want to let you guys know about this conversation I had with my sister in law that completely blew my mind. Actually, it fucking completely blew my mind. It was THAT mind blowing. Now if you have been following this blog for a while you probably already know that my sister and I do NOT see eye to eye when it comes to parenting and raising children. Seriously its like night and day, hot and cold, sane and insane. I tend to think that I am more on the sane side of things while my sister in law is on the insane side. Why?

Well my sister in law is now in Florida and we had this conversation on Thursday of last week. It kinda came up with, "So are you guys ready for Florida" and her reply was "Yeah most of us are ready." "Oh, who isn't ready yet?" She went on to mention how her sister had booked the tickets out of the wrong airport and that her son's girlfriend would be joining them.

Now I'm really sorry, call me old fashioned, call me stupid, call me whatever in the hell you want to call me but bringing your 16 year old son's 15 or 16 year old girlfriend on vacation with you to another country is just insane. It's really really fucking stupid if you ask me. I mean, taking a girlfriend on a vacation is a huge responsibility, especially taking a girlfriend on vacation in another country. I still find it incredible that the girlfriends parents ALLOWED her to go on vacation with her boyfriend.

Then what floored me was this comment from my sister in law: "Well I'm not really happy about it but my son and his cousins wanted her to come."  Um excuse me are we seriously allowing a 16 year old BOY and his cousins that don't even live in the house to make decisions in your house? Is this for real?

I spent the following hour telling my sister in law that I thought she was insane, that although I like the girlfriend I do not think that it is appropriate for a girlfriend or boyfriend to go on vacation with the family at that age. It's like throwing them a box of condoms and saying "Yeah, uh, I'll pretend to not know what is happening okay?"

I have a feeling that one day issues that we see on Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant will be a lot more than just on TV for people who believe this is "ok" and "normal".

So how many of you have taken or would consider taking your child's boyfriend/girlfriend on vacation.

Even More Cheating....

So earlier today I wrote a post about Dan and Marie and I wasn't able to get into too many details because I wrote the post while I was at work and on my lunch break. Oddly enough, I actually DO have to do some work while I'm in the office so my post was a little rushed.

Actually, it was a lot of rushed. There was so much more that I wanted to discuss but I wasn't able to because my boss came in and I had to quickly publish the story and move about my day.

I logged onto my email and saw a comment from Heather where she told me she would be blogging about something similar. After Weight Watcher, dinner, a walk with the dog I'm home and got to read Heather's post Why Am I Not Good Enough and it struck a cord with me.

If you read Heather's blog she talks about how two of her friends slept with their ex boyfriends, who now have new girlfriends. It's an interesting read and I suggest you go there and read it. This post isn't about girls sleeping with their exes even though they've moved on it about CHEATING in general.

I know a girl who was cheated on by the "love of her life" (at least he was for this particular story. This girl (lets call her Emily) was totally in love with her boyfriend (we'll call him dickface of DF for short okay?). She did everything for DF and she could see herself spending the rest of her life with DF.

To put things into perspective Emily was a full time student and DF was employed. He worked in an office building. Can you see where this story is going? DF did the totally typical thing and decided to cheat on Emily with his secretary. Emily eventually found out and she wasn't as livid as I was. She was more upset and hurt. She immediately broke things off with DF and she couldn't stop talking shit about the secretary. Now I don't blame her for that but it does take two to tango. I mean, DF wasn't fucking himself on that wooden desk now was he?

So secretary got a horrible wrap. She was a bitch, a slut, a home wrecker, an evil whore. There were synonyms upon synonyms we called her. And if you ask me, she deserved it. It's not like she didn't know about Emily. She was the one putting the calls thru from Emily to DF. She was the one who would see Emily come into the office for visits.

Emily was disgusted by that evil little home wrecking whore face cunt. I was too. Do you know why I was disgusted? My second serious boyfriend in Montreal cheated on me almost the ENTIRE duration of our 18 month relationship. I couldn't believe it when I found out but thanks to a Greek website and a lot of gossiping girls we finally got to the bottom of it. ExBF of mine was actually cheating on HIS girlfriend with me! WHAAAAAAAAAAT?! Can someone explain that to me? Let's see if any signs of cheating were there.

1. Is with me DAILY. Either to go out to eat dinner or to come hang out at my apartment or to go see a movie. We saw each other EVERYDAY for HOURS at a time.

2. I met his entire family. Mom, Dad, Brother, and Grandmother. I met all of the friends. The friends referred to me as "GF".

3. All major holidays were spent together: Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentine's Day, Easter, my birthday, his birthday.

4. We dated for 18 months.

5. On that Greek website we referred to one another as girlfriend/boyfriend and there were pictures of together (hugging, kissing, cuddling) on that website.

Yeah. I couldn't believe all the gossip at first. I mean, how could ExBF have another girlfriend? How was I the other woman?

Well apparently the "real" girlfriend was studying to be a doctor or a lawyer (I don't remember now) and was a real book worm. She'd never leave her house to do anything because she was too busy studying. He'd leave my house at night and go see her. Ummm what?

Yeah so when I found out and actually believed it (Yes it took a lot of convincing. I was young and completely in love) I broke off with him and never wanted to see him again. Although I saw him a lot after that. We'd end up going to the same bars/clubs. I'd see him and stand within a few feet from him and ignore the fact that he was alive. You should have seen the look on his face when both me and the "real" (now also ex) girlfriend were dancing together being *gasp* friends!

But in all seriousness, nothing beats the look on his face when it was my birthday and there was this huge party at a club. He was looking like he was having a good time and my boyfriend at the time decided to send him & his friends some shots (the new boyfriend new the story of the ex). So as they are taking the shots the DJ announces on the speakers how its time to celebrate a very specials person's birthday...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! Like, how dumb are you to come to that club on that particular night when you KNOW its my birthday party?


Anyway, back to the story of Emily and DF. Emily eventually moved on and got a new BF. He was a pretty awesome guy if I do say so myself. I mean, her BF was my friend way before Emily was my friend so I liked the guy. He was awesome to party with and a great friend. They ended up not working out and life moved on.

Well lets fast forward a few years. Emily now meets this other guy. This guy is a total tool so we will call him Tool. Tool was a bum. I don't recall him ever working. All he'd do was hang out at this coffee shop all the time. Emily and him hit it off and everything was going great...then he had to go on vacation to the "mother land". While he was in the mother land he started to become distant and thats when he informed Emily that although he was head over heels for her he somehow managed to get someone else pregnant. Yeah, I know. Don't you hate when you suddenly impregnate someone and don't even know how?

After having to convince Emily for MONTHS that Tool was...well.... a tool she got it. She went back to her single life and enjoyed it. Then she met someone at school. She met a guy who she considered to be a great guy, only there was a problem.

This guy had a girlfriend. But that doesn't matter. He didn't want to be with his girlfriend she just didn't understand what a break up was? She couldn't accept the fact that it was over. He didn't really love her and was waiting for the right time to break up with her.

Soooo there were all these excuses (from Emily) on why new guy still had a GF. I told Emily that even thinking of being with this guy was a huge mistake. Doesn't she remember what it felt like to be cheated on? She feed me all the excuses from above when I just asked her, "What if DF was telling his secretary the same thing?" What if secretary though that DF was just waiting for the right time to end it with her? What if secretary was being told Emily just didn't get the clue and that it was really over?"

Emily suddenly didn't care. This was the guy for her. The girlfriend was just a little pothole in a perfectly paved high way to Happily Ever After Bliss.

I didn't agree. I mean. I know what its like to find out that your boyfriend is cheating on you. Emily knows what its like to be cheated on. She was pissed off that the secretary was banging her BF KNOWING that EMILY existed but wasn't EMILY doing the very same thing?

Cheaters never change. Once a cheater always a cheater. I just don't understand if you are unhappy with your current relationship why don't you just end it and instead of cheating on someone and making them feel like shit?

People who cheat make me sick.

The Problem with Young People Today....

is that they don't respect anyone. That includes themselves.

I don't even know how to start this blog especially because I never know who is reading this blog. I'm not trying to be "private" or anonymous in writing this blog but for the sake of people involved I don't want to give out too much information. But this story NEEDS information, it NEEDS details.

Do you guys remember my post from last week My First Reality Check? Well this past weekend I found out that someone else very close to me had their first real reality check too regarding young relationships.

A kid I know, a great kid in fact, has a girlfriend. Let's call these kids Dan and Marie. Dan is a great kid with a huge heart. He hasn't really ever gotten into any trouble, no attitude problem. He's far from perfect but he's a great kid. Dan has been in a relationship for a while with Marie. Dan treats Marie amazingly. He is always taking her out, going to her place, having her at his house. He's introduced her to a lot of his extended family.

Well guess how Marie decided to repay him? Yep, she totally cheated on him! Gasp! Yeah a 16 year old little slut cheated on Dan. I know, it freaked me out. She actually cheated on sweet little Dan.

How do I know this? I won't go into details but the mother, a cell phone, and some spying was all involved. What we were able to come up with was this Marie cheated on Dan by giving head to another guy.

I'll wait while you all pick your jaws up off the floor.

So not only is she having sex regularly with her boyfriend, Dan, she is also giving head to random guys. Um Where exactly is the self respect?

I know, I get it, people are having sex younger and younger these days. Hell, they were apparently having sex young during my time too. I mean Corrie fucked Wayne and she was young. Dan and Marie are having sex and they are young.

It makes me shudder to think what kind of things MY kids will grow up to see.

Aren't you parents of young children completely freaked out by things like this? How do you plan on raising your kids to respect their bodies? What age is the "right" age for starting to have sex?


BTW: An alternate title for this blog was: "She put it in her mouth".