Hospitals & Babies

There are a lot of great things about being a mom but the absolute worst thing has to be dealing with a sick kid. Today my heart broke in so many ways I was so sad. Baby D has had chronic infections in her private regions. She has gotten 3 in the past 3 months. It always starts the same way, it appears to be a diaper rash, a high fever, the rash gets a "pimple" like head which fills with puss and is just an infection.

Her doctor ordered a round of blood tests to check her immune system to see if maybe there is something that her body just can't fight off. I'm not really worried, I'm not the worrying type...my mother and husband on the other hand are huge worry warts! Today was the big day. The day I've been dreading. I hate hospitals and I also hate how my husband always makes me the bad guy. He will drive us to the doctors office or the hospital and he'll sit in the parking lot or drive around while I do the mean mommy routine of taking her in to see the doctor.

So this morning we leave home right around 10:30 and head down to the Montreal Children's Hospital for her 11:40am appointment to have blood drawn. Everything is fine and dandy. She is in great spirits although she has a slight cold. We get to the hospital, hubby parks by the emergency room and I get out and unload the stroller while daddy takes D from the car seat. They say bye and in we go. We check into the blood center and I'm thinking "Hey, its only going to be like 20 minutes or so...." then as we sit in the waiting room (the chairs in the hall way!) I keep on hearing people talk about how long they've been waiting "It's already been two hours!" I suddenly knew that D was NOT going to be happy sitting in her stroller for that long.

I decide to take D out and just let her sit on mommy's lap. She was content for about .15 seconds. She got out of my lap and decided to walk up and down the hall way. I sat on the edge of my chair and just watched her. She went up to every single person and tried to fist bump them. Yes, my 17 month old adorable prim and proper little girl fists bumps. I taught her that while on vacation and she hasn't stopped. I'm not embarrassed by it, I actually find it hilarious that my little girl does this. She actually TEACHES other kids how to do it. She will walk up to someone with a closed fist and wait for them to give her their fist then she pulls her hand back and says "pshhhhhhhhh". So here she is going up and down the little hall way fist bumping everyone, blacks, whites, asians, muslims, she didn't care. She taught a few of the parents what a fist bump was as well. She was the star of the "waiting room".

As we are waiting we learn that we keep getting bumped back for emergency patients to come in and whatnot. I don't mind. I'm a patient person, my kid on the other hand isn't. I sat her in my lap and let her play Old Macdonald on my iPhone. As she was sitting there patiently hitting the pink little pig and watching it run away, I watched a mother push her 3 year old little girl in a wheel chair down the hall. The little gor; had tubes all over her and looked disabled. My heart broke. Sick kids is where I draw my "cold hearted" limit. I can be the biggest bitch about anything and everything but I turn into a little sap when I see a sick kid.

I quickly imagined what life would be like if that was D and I. My heart broke and I wanted to cry. It made me hug my little girl a bit more and give her a little kiss on the head. D hopped off of my lap and ran up to the wheelchair and tried to fist bump that little girl. She waited patiently but the girl wasn't having any of it so of course the talkative little monster that she is starts yelling at the girl. "HI....HELLO.....HI.....Pssssssh" as she put her hand into a fist. She WANTED a fist bump. The mother looked at D and smiled then I smiled at that mom. The little girl curled her hand into a fist and Demi was content. As the girl was strolled down the hall way D yelled "BYE!" until she was out of sight.

We still had some waiting to do so I put D back in the stroller and gently rock her back and forth. I jinxed myself because I told the 17 year old girl next to me, "Any money says that now that she fell asleep they'll call her." Guess what, they called her the second she closed her eyes.

You do the math. Cranky baby + woken up from her sleep + drawing blood = screaming bloody murder.  :( I was so sad for her and I hated how I had to hold her legs down while one nurse held down her arms and someone else drew her blood. I hated how loud she screamed, I hated how she had snot running down her face from screaming so loud and hard. I did love how she gave mommy a huge hug and wouldn't let go afterwards. Poor poor baby.

Hospitals are depressing in general but a children't hospital is even worse. I hope that the love that D has for everyone will last as she grows older. D doesn't know the difference between races,  religions, sexuality and sick or healthy. She treated everyone equally and it made me happy to see that she was still innocent. George and I refuse to allow racist, sexist, homophobic slurs spoken in our house and I hope that when she gets older she won't find herself friends with someone who does use those types of words.

Our children's innocence is the best  thing ever. I fell even more in love with my kid when I saw how she interacted with everyone.

Bad Parenting Day

Have you ever had a day that you thought you were the most horrible parent? Maybe you thought you had the most horrible kid? Things just weren't going right no matter how hard you tried. That has been my past two days with D. She has been a terror and nothing is wrong with her.

Like, no fever, no pain, no new teeth. I just can't figure it out. It is like she woke up on the wrong side of the bed for the past two days. From the moment she woke up and I went to pick her up it was screaming/crying. She screamed during the diaper change and getting dressed, she screamed as her dad carried her down the stairs, she cried while we attempted to feed her breakfast. She cried in the car while going to daycare. She probably cried the entire time she was there too but with my luck she was a great child at daycare saving her energy only to make my life hell.

Today I came home from work and everything seemed okay. She was playful and laughing and that lasted for about 15 minutes. From then on it was full out crying (unless she was eating a popicle and I ain't gonna lie, I let her have 3 of them just to have some peace and quiet!). Yesterday while driving to my sister's house I asked George to just pull over so that I could jump in the river. Yeah, that bad.

It's not like I can't handle a crying baby. I get that babies cry, I get that toddlers cry, I get the kids in general can and will cry. I just don't understand WHY she has been moody like that. There is no "logical" reason why she should be crying and that is what gets to me. It makes my head hurt, my skin crawl, and it takes every ounce of willpower to not just flip out.

I feel like she is crying because I did something to her. Yesterday when George and I left she was a pleasant little human for the babysitter. She was all smiles and playful. When I got home it was game on. Cry cry cry. Today when George picked her up she was excellent until I got home. Is she being a pest with me because she knows it gets under my skin? Is she a pest with me because she is mad that I don't give in to her everything? EVERYONE in my family will do whatever D wants in order to keep her quiet. Oh she wants Cheetos instead of apples. Okay. Oh she wants to bang on the keyboard on the computer. Okay. Oh she wants to slap your face because its fun? Okay. Oh she wants up...no down...no up...no down..Okay. I can't do that. I can not allow a 17 month old child to run my house. I can't let her start these bad habits can i?

So people, I'm asking you. How do you handle a toddler who is just....out of control?

Relationship Rules...oh wait, I mean common sense!

You know the types of things that people post on Twitter and Facebook are extremely alarming. Seriously, people feel so comfortable in the cyberworld that they forget that people in the real world really know them. I don't get why people post half the crap they do...but they do and of course that leaves people like me something to blog about so I don't mind so much.

From my past few years of social networking and my recent year of twittering I've picked up a few relationship rules that I figured I'd share with you. Hell, I might be saving your relationship as we speak. You can totally thank me later. I also accept tips via my paypal :)

1. If you don't want people questioning why you are in a certain relationship stop writing crazy shit as your status or latest blog post. If you tell everyone that your husband hits you...people will call him abusive. If you tell people that he constantly ridicules you, they will still call him abusive as well as scum and other choice words. Don't expect because the next day he bought you flowers for everyone to be "Oh that's so freaking sweet!" It's called sucking up because he wants your dumb ass to stick around so that he can continue to beat on you. He's an insecure man and you are insecure therefore an easy target for him. Don't find excuses for him, "Oh he was drunk. Oh he had a hard day at work. Oh his mom had really gotten under his skin that morning". I don't give one fucking shit how bad his day was, how much he drank, or who pissed him off....it doesn't give ANYONE the right to take their shit out on their spouse. STOP complaining about how shitty he is and continue to stay with him and then make excuses. Get the fuck off of that train and soon. I seriously have a feeling in my stomach that one of my twitter friends will end up dead at her husbands hands within the next few years. Yes, its that bad.

2. CHILDREN DO NOT SAVE MARRIAGES. If you and your spouse are thinking of ending your relationship having a baby will NOT help. It might at first, for a few weeks, or months, or even a year but then all those feelings you felt will come up again and you'll still end up divorced....only now you are dragging innocent little kids into it. Eventually you will end up hating your spouse and likely resenting the kid too. Kids shouldn't be used as pawns in a marriage. Have kids when you are happy in your HEALTHY relationship and when BOTH of you want them. I have a friend from HS who was miserable in his marriage. He stayed with his wife for the sake of their first kid. The more they talked about divorce the more angry she got. She got herself knocked up again and now he's staying for the sake of the kids. He's miserable, she's miserable and the kids feel that tension. (Seriously folks, if you are thinking of divorcing your spouse how about you keep your private parts to yourself to this type of shit doesn't happen?)

3. ENTRAPMENT. What do I mean? Say you are that couple that has a super rocky relationship. You are together for a week, broken up for a week, together for 3 months, broken up for 1 month... yeah... those types of couples should seriously invest in birth control. Let's be honest, usually when people have those rocky relationships its because one person wants more than the other. Someone wants to get married and the other doesn't...one wants kids and the other doesn't. People that are on the same page rarely have roller coaster relationships. If you are in a relationship like this USE BIRTH CONTROL. If your girlfriend wants to get married and have kids and you don't....do NOT rely on her for birth control. Use a fucking condom. That is the type of girl who will "accidentally" get pregnant. Why? Because she thinks that by her being pregnant she'll get it all. The ring, the baby, the house, and the perfect life. It's RARELY like that. Okay, so say he does give you a ring. He proposes and agrees to marry you...is that what you really want? You want a guy to marry you ONLY because he wants to do right by his child? He doesn't want to marry YOU for YOU...he's doing it because he feels PRESSURED by either his family or society to "do right by you"? I don't know about you but I have way too much self esteem and self respect to trap a man into marrying me. If you don't want me for me I'm not going to scheme to come up with plans to get you to marry me. I'm moving on honey. I mean, isn't that really shitty? You basically ruined someone else's life by tricking them and forcing them to be a husband and a father when they didn't want that at all for themselves? Oh, word to the wise, for those of you who have done this or plan on doing this DO NOT TELL ANYONE. Why? Because one day the cat will find its way out of the bag and you are going to drag other people through your shit and I'm sure they don't want to be there. Huh? Say you do this and you tell your best friend... or a good friend...or a friend in general. You guys have a huge fight. You both explode and say things that you either really mean or don't mean so much. Now trapped husband is listening and the friend screams something like, "oh yeah, at least I didn't trick "enternamehere" into marrying me bitch!" Yeah, you are pretty much screwed. Especially if boyfriend and you had trust issues prior to that. Do yourself a favor and don't tell anyone...not in real life, not on twitter, not on facebook. Take that shit to the grave.


Yeah so those are my few short tips. It's sad to think that its 2010 and some people still don't get it. It's not rocket science people, its freaking common sense! I'm sure I'll see more things and update this list in another blog post at a later date...until then....keep posting random shit for me to see! :)

I've been doing some thinking

So, I've been doing some thinking and wondering why in the heck I can't post on my other blog. I'm just so uninspired. The URL isn't me and I'm far too lazy to come up with something else that suits me. I am Giftedly-Outspoken and I will continue to be. I can't post behind a fake name and actually feel real? Who cares if people know I'm talking about them? Since when have I been one to hide behind a computer monitor? Yeah for those of you who actually know me in real life you'll know that I don't roll like that.

Anywho, so the reason I had moved the blog in the first place is because one of my co-workers found my blog a while back and complained to my boss about it. Why? Because my blog mentioned how she was a lying bitch and a few other choice words. I'm sure scraggly cunt was one of them. I know, I'm so gifted with words. Oddly enough my boss never said anything about it. I guess he figures as long as we can work peaceful with one another who really cares what our PERSONAL feelings are towards one another right? I mean, I don't like all of my co-workers 24/7. We have spats, we have different opinions but we all get over it.

Well mostly get over it. I don't care if she stalks my blog and reads this. I still think she has been faking nearly everything "dramatic" that has happened. I think she faked the pregnancy in order to avoid getting heat for being a bitch (of course if my boss excused my emotionalness based on being pregnant it was a perfect excuse for her too!), I think she lied about the miscarriage and subsequent D&C, and now she is supposedly suffering from H1N1. I just don't believe it.

Why not? Let's see, I get the wonderful joy of checking her expenses and she'd have coffee daily (yes, they are allowed because they are travelling sales reps and they get X amount of money per day for meals, so if they wanna use it on coffee more power to them!), she'd enjoy her glass of wine with her meals at trade show dinners, and she had sushi more than once or twice, oh and large caffeinated beverages daily! After her "miscarriage" she went straight to work.

My boss brought her up to Montreal to discuss all of our issues (no I'm not the only one in the office with issues regarding her). He asked me before our big meeting what my problems were with her and I explained to him that I prefer to keep it professional and only mention my WORKING issues with her and nothing personal. He agreed. In our meeting I told her how I did NOT like how she had a bad day with one of our distributors and how she tried to place the blame on me. I also told her that I didn't really like it when her parents were sick in the hospital (supposedly okay?) and she emails me telling me NOT to email her as she is taking personal time. I totally get that you are taking personal time because something has happened to your family HOWEVER if part of my job is to send you emails. It is up to you to choose when and where you respond. Like, am I supposed to remember every sick day that everyone takes and make a mental note not to forward them information or maybe I should set my email on a delivery delay to accommodate someone else's schedule? Oddly enough she agreed that in both cases I was right and she was just having a poopie day both times. Seriously, not my problem.

When I'm having a poop day I just kind of avoid people. I keep my emails short and to the point and avoid all long conversations if at all possible. I don't start bitching at the first person who crosses my path.

So her first official day here in the office we had that meeting which lasted for 4 hours. Then we all went to dinner together and that was pretty fun mainly cuz my boss' wife is HILARIOUS!

The next day my boss makes me take her out for dinner. It was so much fun (sarcasm is ultra heavy here). She checks her messages on her phone (text) and is like "OMG. I'll be right back I have to make a call. A friend's friend just committed suicide." Now there I am sitting at a table with a glass of water for 30 minutes alone. I was ready to kill someone at that point. She came back, apologized for leaving me waiting and we had dinner. Over dinner I got to hear a lot of stories most of which I think were fabricated. I mean she told me about this school that someone she knows goes to, its super posh and very Catholic...and guess what? Will Smith's son Jayden goes there... Wait...aren't they into Scientology? I doubt that Jayden goes there but I kept my mouth shut and just pretended to believe everything.

Friday she leaves. The following Friday we get an email talking about how she has H1N1 Flu and how she got it leaving Montreal at the airport most likely....but it hasn't affected her job AT all! She was still going to visit stores....wow how thoughtful of you to take your disease ridden ass all around the LA area spreading this horrible virus you have. Wait...don't H1N1 make you extremely weak and tired? How do you have the energy to go visit all these stores and spread the virus? And weren't you one of the people who was saying how inconsiderate sick people were going to work and getting everyone else sick? Hmmm pot calling the kettle black I think....

So thats my latest update on the DQ co-worker. Everything is just about the drama. I feel like telling someone, "Hey if you think you are having a bad day just call DQ and I guarantee you that you'll feel better about your life because she leads the most dramatic life EVER!" In the past few months she's been in a car accident, both her parents sick in different hospitals in different states, pregnant, miscarriage, and now the H1N1 virus. I'm sure there are smaller things in between that I just can't manage to remember.


Anyway, other than that crazy bit of drama with the co-worker I am excited to announce that on Nov 11th I'll know if I'm carrying a baby boy or a baby girl. I'm not telling you what I reallllllllly want because what I realllllllllly want is a healthy baby with all its limbs in tact and nothing extra! We've already settled on a name for a baby boy or a baby girl. Elias if its a boy after my father, and we'll nickname him Eli....Dimitria if its a girl and we'll call her Demi. My best friend is also pregnant and she find out around Xmas if its a boy or a girl...and a close family friend is also pregnant and she is having a baby BOY!!

Between my sisters wedding shower, wedding, my baby shower, and best friends baby shower we have a very busy Jan thru Feb for 2010. I'm also excited to announce that whatever Nicole (my best friend) is having that my husband and I will be baptizing! I'm so excited that I'll be baptizing a baby in the Orthodox church. This will be my second God child but the first one to do with my hubby! Also, after my sister gets married and pops out one of her own Nicole and Rody will be baptizing her kid! Our family just keeps on expanding more and more!

Alex's wedding invitations and wedding shower invitations are in the mail as of today and should be here within a week! If you ever need anything designed I seriously suggest you check out Art By Ellie Awesome prices, great custom designs! I'm so impressed by the proofs I saw. I can't wait to get everything!! ;)

Oh yeah.... I'm BAAAAAAAAAACK! I have over 1000 things in my Google Reader that I will not get to. I'm going to try to go back a few days to catch up on things but if I haven't replied to your blogs in a while I'm sorry. I'm starting fresh!!!