Gosh I'm Bad at this Blogging Thing

Seriously, how bad can I possibly be at this entire blogging thing? I keep on telling myself that I'm going to blog and I never get around to it. Mainly because I just don't feel like I ever have time anymore. It seems that for the last three weeks every single day I am rushing home from work only to have to go somewhere else, do something, pick up something. GAAAAAH! Does it ever end? I'm actually looking forward to the snow so I have an excuse for not being able to do anything else... "Oh sorry I'm pregnant and its slippery outside..." "Oh I'm sorry, my husband took the SUV and I'm not going to take the convertible out in this weather..." Yep, being pregnant has more perks then just bringing a little person into the world!

So before I get to the actual subject of this blog I thought I'd share some news with you all. I went for my ultra sound on Nov. 11th and everything is great. My baby is developing perfectly and I no longer have to call the baby "it" "lil person" or any other cute nicknames, its a GIRL! Oddly enough EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE thought I was going to have a boy but like I said, my baby just to spite everyone would come out a girl! At first I was shocked and maybe a little disappointed. I really wanted a boy first. We want 3 kids and I've always wanted the boy to be first so he could be the protective big brother but I'm very happy with my little girl. Her name is Demitra Hope Ourlastnamehere. But we will call her Demi for short.

I did a 3D ultra sound and we were able to see soooo many wonderful details from the baby. Like, I can tell you that she has my lips and she has big eyes like me. She opened her eyes for a spilt second and all 3 of us were like WOAH! Big eyes! My husband has small eyes so we knew she was looking like me! I'm totally down with that. I think I'm pretty freaking cute and apparently my baby is on the right track.

Things with work are going pretty okay as well. I still hate my co-worker and think shes a lying sack of shit but I am working well with her. I figure if my boss wants to ignore all the signs then its just not my place to step in and say something. I mean, this girl is in the early to mid 30's and constantly needs emails or telephone calls to remind her to send in expense reports, she wants to go against everything our head office says...she's just a huge pain in the ass but the way I see it...I'm going to be on mat leave by Feb 2010 and I won't have to deal with her for another 14 months. What do I care if she pisses off my replacement? Good luck to them!


Now onto the subject of this blog post: MONEY!!!

Now I totally get that times are tougher this year than other years. Our economy is in the crapper, people are losing their jobs left right and center and of course to even out the playing field everything is more expensive but is that any excuse to be living paycheck to paycheck?

I've been reading things on Facebook and other friends blogs where all the do is complain about the lack of money. It's like, "If I buy shoes that I really NEED, I won't be able to eat lunch for the next week". Um excuse me? Most people whose blogs I read and who I friend on Facebook are people who are employed full time and have been for some time now and in their mid 20's to early 30's. Didn't we already pass that paycheck to paycheck time in our lives? The times that we just made the minimum payment on our credit cards and immediately spent it after the transaction went through?

For those people who do live paycheck to paycheck, how do you handle an unexpected expense like your car breaking down, getting into a car accident and not being able to work for a few days/weeks? What if you need to take time off of work to help a sick parent? How do you handle that loss of income?

Now I'm no money guru and I'm horrible with saving money but I do it because I'd hate to be in a position where I had to choose between putting gas in my car and eating dinner. (And no I'm not being extreme in my examples, this is shit I've read!) How can you be so tight for money? How can you live in such a bind? So restricted, so...not living?

I'm 28 years old, married, and expecting my first child. I'm a homeowner, a pet owner, and we have two cars. Unexpected expenses ALWAYS happen. A trip to the vet, a car in the shop, something at the house not working 100%, renovating the basement, business expenses (husband owns his own companies) and I'm just thinking if we spent every single penny we made before we even made it how in the heck could we afford anything else? We like to shop and buy new clothes (hey I AM gaining weight slowly here), we like to buy our dog new treats and toys, we like to eat out every now and then, of course we are getting Demi's room ready and planning her baby shower...and I just couldn't imagine being happy if every penny I had was allotted somewhere. I don't think I'd be very happy if I always had to tell myself if I do one thing then I can't do another. And I'm not talking big things either here folks, its not like I'm debating between a 7 day trip to a 5 star resort or a 5 day trip to Vegas. I'm talking about either a new pair of winter boots not having lunch money for a week. Ummm? Kinda hard to decide and be happy about the decision right?


I dunno, maybe I'm crazy but I don't think that anyone in our age bracket that is employed full time should ever be in these positions!

What makes me laugh a lot is that one of the main reasons that our high school reunion turn out was so low is because people complained about the cost of the ticket. The tickets were between 64$ to 75$ depending on how early you purchased your ticket. You KNEW for 10 years that you'd have a 10 year reunion...Although we hadn't given the location to our classmates in advance we did give them an estimated price range (between 50$ to 80$ per person) and people were fine with it...or so they said. Our reunion website had like over 100 people as "attending reunion" and the actual turn out was kinda blah. When asking classmates why they didn't come their first response was "money." Wow. Oddly enough, people didn't want to pay 70$ a person for a reunion but now they want to do a 15 year reunion on a CRUISE! Yeah okay folks. You didn't want to pay less than a 100$ per person but you are going to pay upwards of 1000$ per person to be on a cruise ship for 5 to 7 days with a bunch of people you barely want to see for a few hours every 10 years? Okay.. you plan that and let me know how the turn out is okay?

Stuffing the Envelope

Stuffing the Envelope


So its summer and that means its wedding, engagement, baptism, shower season. It’s actually one of my favorite and least favorite things about the summer. I love that my friends are moving on in life and getting married, having babies and all that other great stuff but I hate that every weekend seemed to be booked by going to an event. Every once in a while you like to just sit at home on your couch on a Saturday. Luckily this season has been a bit different. The majority of my friends who are having these events don’t live locally and as much as I’d love to be able to fly in to help them celebrate, I can’t. But I do send gifts when possible.

I was always taught if you can’t make it to an event, along with your RVSP card saying “I regretfully decline,” you should send a gift. Be it a check, a mixer, or whatever. You shouldn’t just say no empty handed because that person wanted you there to help you celebrate with them.

I did that with most of the events that I had to decline this season…I wasn’t able to make it to a friend’s wedding shower and I tried to buy a gift and have it sent but apparently the place she was registered at didn’t want to take my Canadian credit card. But I did make up for it at another one of her showers (lingerie).

So when it comes to sending gifts what criteria do you use? The reason I ask this is because often at Big Fat Greek Events you can over hear a couple discussing what to put into the envelope (because we don’t normally have box gifts at our weddings, that’s what the wedding shower and housewarming is for). It’s not rare to hear an older couple telling a younger couple, “Oh, you don’t have to put a lot in this envelope, the bride isn’t Greek.” Or “150$ for the both of you is okay, the served chicken!” Yep, that’s what people around these parts do. They look at the following to gauge how much you are worth.

1. Are you both Greek? If not, you just lost at least 25% of the “norm”
2. What type of meal is being served? Chicken?! Shame on you! Beef, way to go.
3. What reception hall is it at? Are you paying $40 per person or are you paying upwards of $100?
4. How well do we know you? Did you invite me because my mom made me invite you to my event?

I think its all stupid. When I go to an event with my husband I think of: “How well do I know them?” I don’t think about if they came to my event, how much did they put in the envelope, what did they serve to eat, are they both Greek or both Italian or Arabic? Who cares? The only thing that should matter is how well you know them and how close you are to them?

I’m obviously going to put more money in an envelope for my cousin then I would for a friend? And I’d put more for my sister than I would for my cousin. If I can’t make it to something I try to either send 100$ or a gift that is approximately that much. I don’t say, “Oh they are having their wedding at the Chateau Royal so their meal is probably $40…” that’s wrong. That’s cheap. At that point just don’t even bother going.

I have a funny story about my wedding. Instead of doing the traditional Greek thing and going to a Greek reception hall which are totally over done and need a MAJOR face lift I decided to go to an Italian hall in the East End. Sure, it’s a bit further away but you know what? I loved my hall. If I would have gotten married in the Greek halls I would have spent about $5,000.00 just decorating the hall to make it look decent. I didn’t have to pay a dime at the Madison. Sure I spent a little more for the meals then I would have at a Greek hall but who cares? I’m only getting married once and I wanted to have an event that I’d never forget. I wanted an event that I would look back at the pictures in 20 years and smile about how perfect everything was.

Some people (I won’t name names!) told me that I would “lose” money if I got married at an Italian hall because the meals were more expensive and people wouldn’t put that kind of money in the envelope. I told that person that I’m not looking at my wedding as a money making event. I’m looking at it as a celebration and if you can come then come. I was told that the Canadians (read “white folks”) don’t put money in envelopes and would bring us a bottle of wine or something and we’d lose money on them so to not invite them. I told that person to stop telling me what to do at my wedding. I’m happy enough to have that person join me at my wedding and I don’t care what they bring. In fact, I had recently met a cousin of a great friend of mine who was having a hard time. He was going through a divorce, he wasn’t enjoying life, and he was out of a job. (Oddly enough his parents were invited to my wedding via my parents. His parents actually married my parents. They put the stefana on them! SMALL WORLD!). I asked him if he had a suit and he said he did. I told him to come to my wedding. (I met him on Thursday, getting married on Saturday…). He said he’d love to but he just didn’t have money to put into the envelope and I told him screw that. Just come. I told him that I’d already given my head count to the hall and one of my husband’s friends cancelled at last minute so I was going to pay for that meal regardless and I’d rather someone be there to eat it then end up trashing it. He thanked me and said he’d come. He did show up and you know what? He had an amazing time hanging out with his cousin, her husband, and a lot of my friends. He loved Table 13.

Well, there was a family of 4 that showed up to my wedding. A family that was related to the person who told me that we’d lose money by doing the wedding at an Italian hall (yes this is important to the story). The husband of this family works for a huge company and brings home a 7 figure paycheck yearly. Do you know what they put in the envelope? A check for $125 for a family of 4. Um, sorry dude but that doesn’t even cover the cost of ONE meal let alone 4. At that rate, why even bother putting anything at all? It made HIM look like a fool and no one else. In fact, my husband and I decided not to even bother cashing the check. That guy called us one day asking why we didn’t cash the check (about a month or two after the wedding) and I told him simply, “Apparently you need it more than I do”. Was it rude? Sure. Do I care? Not really.

Now with all that being said I know that its not everyone’s customs to bring an envelope as a gift. But my question to you is, how do you determine the value of the gift (envelope or box)? Strictly on what you can afford that weekend? If you have to travel to get there? How close you are? The venue that the event is held?