This blog post is NOT about Joe Paterno OR The Kardashians!

How is that for a blog title? My blog post isn't about them but it is sort of inspired but ONE of these two. Who do you think it is? I'll let you be the judge and you can totally guess within the first few sentences I'm sure.

So its pretty rare that when we decide to take a trip down the aisle that we really don't mean "forever". How many of you have walked down the aisle and thought, "Yeah this should do for a few years?" Most of us go into it with good intentions right?

Well ladies, I have something to say to y'all about getting a divorce for whatever reason. GIVE THE GUY BACK HIS LAST NAME! Seriously, you are DIVORCING him, you are moving on with your life why do you want to hang on to his last name? Don't give me that bullshit about wanting the same last name as your children...Newsflash, here in Quebec when we get married we don't take our husbands last name, our children do...the kids aren't confused. They know who their mom is and as they grow up they realize why. It's the law here...I'm sure explaining to your kid that you and their daddy don't live together anymore and got a divorce...it won't confuse them. What about the women who aren't married and have children? The last name argument is bullshit.

I have a friend who is divorced. His ex-wife is a major major bitch. Let me sum up the ways that she is a bitch. She cheated on him, got pregnant by someone else while they were married...oh and he was off fighting in the war protecting her rights, oh and then she also started hanging out with all of his friends while they were separated and divorced. Yeah pretty much a major bitch.

They got a divorce and she still uses his last name. It's HER last name now. I get so annoyed with it. She has friend requested me on Facebook no less than 10 times a year and the minute I look at her last name I get all disgusted and want to punch her. Once when we were at the same place at the same time she asked me, "Jenny why don't you accept my friends request or hang out with the group when I'm around." My reply was simple, "I don't like you and think you are a bitch."

They had a fairly peaceful divorce, there was no fighting. It was simply "You are a whore let's get a divorce" and they did it. They signed their agreements regarding custody of the children that were his. But they went their separate ways. Why did she keep his name? There is no real reason other than.... Hell...I don't even know.

So that brings me to my next point. GIVE BACK THE FREAKING RING! What are you going to do it? Wear it like a trophy? Keep it in your jewelry box as a memory of something that ended? Pawn it for some extra cash? I dunno, maybe its the proud woman in me but I don't want it. I don't want the memory of you, I don't want the "trophy" of telling people I failed at marriage, and I certainly don't want something he gave me to get me some extra cash. Basically, I don't need you and I don't need anything FROM you to help me out. I'd rather give back the ring and cut it clean.

I know a few people that have been divorced that actually kept their rings from their ex, gave their new boyfriend the diamond to reset so they could propose. Too me that is cheap and tacky. Sorry. It's not about the size of the diamond but if your hubby to be can't spring for a new diamond for you then thats just wrong. If he can't afford a diamond why not propose with your favorite stone? your birth stone? just a gold band?! I dunno, but I certainly don't want to GIVE my boyfriend a diamond that my EX HUSBAND gave to me so he can propose to me. I feel as if that sort of cheapens me.

So here is my message to Kim Kardashian: GIVE HUMPHRIES BACK HIS RING!!

Relationship Rules...oh wait, I mean common sense!

You know the types of things that people post on Twitter and Facebook are extremely alarming. Seriously, people feel so comfortable in the cyberworld that they forget that people in the real world really know them. I don't get why people post half the crap they do...but they do and of course that leaves people like me something to blog about so I don't mind so much.

From my past few years of social networking and my recent year of twittering I've picked up a few relationship rules that I figured I'd share with you. Hell, I might be saving your relationship as we speak. You can totally thank me later. I also accept tips via my paypal :)

1. If you don't want people questioning why you are in a certain relationship stop writing crazy shit as your status or latest blog post. If you tell everyone that your husband hits you...people will call him abusive. If you tell people that he constantly ridicules you, they will still call him abusive as well as scum and other choice words. Don't expect because the next day he bought you flowers for everyone to be "Oh that's so freaking sweet!" It's called sucking up because he wants your dumb ass to stick around so that he can continue to beat on you. He's an insecure man and you are insecure therefore an easy target for him. Don't find excuses for him, "Oh he was drunk. Oh he had a hard day at work. Oh his mom had really gotten under his skin that morning". I don't give one fucking shit how bad his day was, how much he drank, or who pissed him off....it doesn't give ANYONE the right to take their shit out on their spouse. STOP complaining about how shitty he is and continue to stay with him and then make excuses. Get the fuck off of that train and soon. I seriously have a feeling in my stomach that one of my twitter friends will end up dead at her husbands hands within the next few years. Yes, its that bad.

2. CHILDREN DO NOT SAVE MARRIAGES. If you and your spouse are thinking of ending your relationship having a baby will NOT help. It might at first, for a few weeks, or months, or even a year but then all those feelings you felt will come up again and you'll still end up divorced....only now you are dragging innocent little kids into it. Eventually you will end up hating your spouse and likely resenting the kid too. Kids shouldn't be used as pawns in a marriage. Have kids when you are happy in your HEALTHY relationship and when BOTH of you want them. I have a friend from HS who was miserable in his marriage. He stayed with his wife for the sake of their first kid. The more they talked about divorce the more angry she got. She got herself knocked up again and now he's staying for the sake of the kids. He's miserable, she's miserable and the kids feel that tension. (Seriously folks, if you are thinking of divorcing your spouse how about you keep your private parts to yourself to this type of shit doesn't happen?)

3. ENTRAPMENT. What do I mean? Say you are that couple that has a super rocky relationship. You are together for a week, broken up for a week, together for 3 months, broken up for 1 month... yeah... those types of couples should seriously invest in birth control. Let's be honest, usually when people have those rocky relationships its because one person wants more than the other. Someone wants to get married and the other doesn't...one wants kids and the other doesn't. People that are on the same page rarely have roller coaster relationships. If you are in a relationship like this USE BIRTH CONTROL. If your girlfriend wants to get married and have kids and you don't....do NOT rely on her for birth control. Use a fucking condom. That is the type of girl who will "accidentally" get pregnant. Why? Because she thinks that by her being pregnant she'll get it all. The ring, the baby, the house, and the perfect life. It's RARELY like that. Okay, so say he does give you a ring. He proposes and agrees to marry you...is that what you really want? You want a guy to marry you ONLY because he wants to do right by his child? He doesn't want to marry YOU for YOU...he's doing it because he feels PRESSURED by either his family or society to "do right by you"? I don't know about you but I have way too much self esteem and self respect to trap a man into marrying me. If you don't want me for me I'm not going to scheme to come up with plans to get you to marry me. I'm moving on honey. I mean, isn't that really shitty? You basically ruined someone else's life by tricking them and forcing them to be a husband and a father when they didn't want that at all for themselves? Oh, word to the wise, for those of you who have done this or plan on doing this DO NOT TELL ANYONE. Why? Because one day the cat will find its way out of the bag and you are going to drag other people through your shit and I'm sure they don't want to be there. Huh? Say you do this and you tell your best friend... or a good friend...or a friend in general. You guys have a huge fight. You both explode and say things that you either really mean or don't mean so much. Now trapped husband is listening and the friend screams something like, "oh yeah, at least I didn't trick "enternamehere" into marrying me bitch!" Yeah, you are pretty much screwed. Especially if boyfriend and you had trust issues prior to that. Do yourself a favor and don't tell anyone...not in real life, not on twitter, not on facebook. Take that shit to the grave.


Yeah so those are my few short tips. It's sad to think that its 2010 and some people still don't get it. It's not rocket science people, its freaking common sense! I'm sure I'll see more things and update this list in another blog post at a later date...until then....keep posting random shit for me to see! :)

Keyboard Confessions Pt 2

Yippe! More Confessions from the desk of moi!

1. I think that the UPS, FedEx, and CD Consultants guys all bring me bad luck. Every time they come to deliver something my phone rings. I hate it when my phone rings.

2. Hilary at Second Cup tells me everyday that I look cute. I am starting to wonder if its sarcasm!?

3. Although I'm trying to watch what I am eating I cannot stop myself from getting my daily Iced Vanilla Latte. I'm actually addicted to it.

4. I have a very addictive personality. If I try something once and like it, I always want it. I'm very happy I've never tried heroin or crack.

5. I need a vacation like a fat kid needs cake!

6. I also need a raise but I am uncomfortable discussing money and have no clue how to ask for one. I mean I can't just walk in and say "Hey. I'm super valuable so you need to front more money!"

7. Can I?

8. I've been tagged in various blog games but can't play because I don't have the pictures they require (HS prom and such). Stupid moving.

9. Speaking of pictures my mom is hounding me to pick my pictures for my wedding album. I mean, its only been 15 months. Sheesh relax lady. Picking 85 pictures out of 600 is VERY hard!

10. I went to the doctor last Thursday for a test. I didn't know how painful this test would be. I cried the entire drive home. I wanted to punch the doctor square in the nose. Asshole.

11. I have a high threshold for pain which is why I wonder why this test hurt so much. Stupid doctor.

12. I have to find someone who knows about aquariums and filters to write reviews for our new redesigned website for the company I work for.

13. I am really valuable to the company. My ideas are saving them tons of money and catching them up to 2009. They should be THROWING money at me!

14. I miss Matt. I don't think I've seen him since ummmm January?

15. I'm sort of actually looking forward to my high school reunion but I'm so freaked out by the fact that I've been out of high school for 10 years already.

16. I think these next few months are going to require a lot of travel. Cuba (May), Texas (For Heidi's wedding in August I think), Vegas/Texas (Sept for work), Texas (October for HS reunion).

17. Isn't it funny how after so many years you start to feel close to people you weren't that close with during high school? I feel that by leaving Texas right after graduation I missed out on a lot of great friendships.

18. Oddly comforting thought, if George and I were to ever get a divorce I could go back to Texas and probably have a handful of guys to pick from...but none of them would compliment me as much as Georgie does.

19. I used to write a lot on www.fanfiction.net/~babyjamazing and I haven't posted in forever. I keep getting emails of people telling me to hurry up and post an update.

20. My un-spiration in writing has really started to bother me!

Mystery Date Night -- Keeping the Romance Alive.

So the other day I was reading a blog TheNearlyweds when Jen gave me an idea. Her and her boyfriend, oops fiancé', do a date night every once in a while. I thought it was a great idea and a nice way to spend some time together.

My husband and I were married for 2.5 months when his mother passed away and it hit him really hard and it affects our relationship big time. Not only were we dealing with him mourning the loss of his mother but we also had to "take in" his father. No we didn't move him into our home but we would have him over all the time, in fact as I write this blog he is sitting on the couch across the living room from me. So needless to say, George and I don't exactly get to spend a lot of time together unless its bed time. We enjoy entertaining so we invite friends over, we like to go out with our friends, and then the times we want to be alone, his father feels lonely so George will bring him over.

We’ve butted heads about this a few times. I don’t mean to be a bitch and not want his father over all of the time but c’mon, all of the time? When do we get our alone time? Why can’t your father go to your brother’s house? Why can’t your father get a hobby? How come he isn’t bored Monday through Friday but suddenly he’s bored the days he knows you are home?

But I give in and someone goes and picks up the father in law and drops him off at the end of the day. But any way you look at it, it too has strained the relationship. The “newlywed” experience wasn’t really grand for me; much less for George.

So when I read Jen & Ted’s blog, I loved the idea. We used to date a lot before we got married and engaged and it was so much fun. We’ve decided to do a mystery date night and we set out some ground rules.

1. We will do mystery date night every two weeks only taking off December because of the holidays and January of 2010 because we have a lot to do for my sisters wedding.

2. It MUST be done on a weekend (Friday or Satuday night or Sunday DAY).

3. Although it’s a surprise (mystery) you have to tell the other person how to dress. (No dresses for a surprise horseback riding trip).

4. Must be paid for through our joint account but it also has to be reasonable, we have no set budget for this but we will use our best judgement.

5. We can’t do something that will embarrass or scare the other person. (So no nude beaches (like I’d go!!) or jumping off of bridges or out of planes (being pushed out isn’t the same as jumping right!?)

6. No other couples unless its agreed upon by both parties.

7. The non planning person must agree to go wherever the planning party says. Person planning must do the driving.

8. Once I become pregnant I am allowed to veto any planned date night due to feeling sick, not in the mood for it, or I’m just being emotional and want to cuddle in bed with Dallas and Twilight.

9. We sign a 25 year contract for this (like a mortgage) with certain terms for 5 years (current terms) and we can renegotiate the terms every 5 years.


So the rules are pretty straight forward and George decided that he wants to be the first to plan our date night. We are doing our first date night on our Good Friday (Our as in Orthodox) so I’m wondering what its going to be. I hope its not something super religious but he did tell me to get dressed up.

Now I need some ideas on something we can do together that we’ll both enjoy since George made sure to take away my best ideas (bungee jumping and sky diving). A few ideas I had were:

Going to a vineyard and doing some wine tasting
Going to some museums downtown since George loves history and we’ve never gone to the museums in Montreal.
Go to Granby Zoo when it opens.
Horseback riding
Fishing (ewwww this one is going to kill me)
Take a cooking course together
Surprise picnic.
Sending him away for the majority of the day so I can cook and clean and then have a nice romantic night in, with candles and all that usual nonsense I laugh at.

Any other ideas? Can you guys help me out with things that guys enjoy doing that won’t make me squirmy?

Our First Valentine's Day

So today is Valentine's Day, or SAD day *Singles Awareness Day*, or Hallmark Holiday or whatever you want to call it. It seriously didn't go the way I thought it would go. I dunno, maybe I'm a pure romantic at heart and I want to be wined and dined, I want to be swooped off of my feet. Did I get that?

Of course not, did you forget who I married? My husband George is a very thoughtful individual but he doesn't want to be told when to be thoughtful. He'd rather be walking around downtown alone one day and see a nice bouquet of flowers and pick them up and bring them to me. He's the type of guy who will be shopping for himself and see something he thinks I'd like and he'll bring it home for me. That's the type of guy I married. I didn't marry the type of guy that likes to throw lavish gifts, flowers, and candy on Valentine's day. In fact, I married the type of guy that doesn't know how to make reservations for Valentine's Day until a few days before. Obviously, the places I wanted to go to were completely booked and we will now be celebrating V-Day tomorrow.

Today was spent with a bunch of people instead of just my husband. Let's see, today we had to wait for Meubles Elegance to deliver the bedroom set that my parents bought us for our one year anniversary (I know I know, I'm very lucky to have parents like that!). Not only that but my mother came over to my house to clean it (and she even knows I have a maid but c'mon no one ever cleans the house as good as she does). My mom took everything out of my china cabinet and washed it, dried it, and put it back she then went upstairs to decorate our guest bedroom (with the comforter/curtain set that she bought me for the guest bedroom (and yes, I know we need to add decorations to the room, give me a week)), and then started to help George put his clothes away since he's been living out of boxes for the first year of our marriage (again, totally not my fault that only my clothes fit into the master bedroom. I'm not getting rid of my things....). George brought his father over to our house ALLLLLL day today and then his nephew showed up too. Oh my sister swung by for a bit too, and apparently my brother in law and his wife are going to come over later on too. Seriously? The only person who got it right today is George's other nephew who is taking his girlfriend out for dinner tonight.



Anyway, so between all the cleaning, moving, arranging etc, my door bell rang and its a delivery guy. My husband ordered me flowers and guess what? They are Birds of Paradise and Red Ginger. I know its nothing too special to anyone else but I love the flowers for two reasons.

1. I hate roses on commerical holidays. If I have to get roses I want voodoo roses or blue roses. I know they are artificial but I love the color.
2. The flowers are the same ones that were used in our engagement centerpieces.

So I guess that he is kind of romantic deep down inside without really showing it. But I really would have enjoyed today a lot more if no one came over and we spent the evening together and had a nice meal together. Instead, I end up with the entire "in law" family over. Not my idea of a perfect first Valentine's Day together.

So our plans for tomorrow night consist of us getting all dolled up and going to the Casino for dinner at Nuances followed by a little casino playing and depending on if time permits or not, George will come with me to go watch Confessions of a Shopaholic.

So how did you all spend your day? Anything romantic? Depressing? Did the day go as you wanted it to go or what?