It's NOT putting your kids down...crazy lady!

So there is a blog post making its rounds on the blogosphere that is called "Stop Putting Down Your Kids".  I read the post a few times trying to figure out where Tara was coming from. Was it written with some sort of humor that was deeply hidden? Was it written from an angry place? I finally realized where it came from. It was written from high above us "normal" parents, on her pedestal.

She says that putting down your children is not helpful, funny, nor will it improve your relationship with your child. I totally get it. Putting down your children is down right crappy. However, all the examples she gave are NOT examples of putting down a child.  The examples she gave are of mother's expressing their feelings to their friends, peers, co-workers or whatever.

Putting down a child is saying something along the lines of "my child is such a fucking douchebag. He's 4 years old and still not potty trained. I think he is mentally handicapped". "My child hasn't stopped eating crap, she is going to become a heifer"

It seems to me that Tara has a hard time getting the difference between parents discussing their hardships, their troubles, their hard times, problems, or however you want to call them and putting down. Putting down is an insult. Putting down is hurting someone's feelings.  Tara went pretty far and even called "putting down your kids" as being selfish.

Is it really selfish? Is it selfish to speak to other moms about issues you are having with your child/children? Here I thought it was a way to interact and bond with other parents and maybe do this weird thing called getting advice. Where should we turn to for advice about children misbehaving, not sleeping well, not eating well or whatever? Should we just google and hope we come up with something good? I know that when D was having issues sleeping I spoke to my friend and she told me about her family's bed time routine and how the end result was her daughter sleeping straight through the night.

When D decided that eating wasn't something she was fond of I spoke to a few friends and complained "Oh my god, D is going to be as picky as an eater as me. She hasn't eaten a solid meal in about 3 days!" and my mommy friends told me about their issues when their children were younger and gave me some suggestions.

You see, some might see it as complaining about our children but NEVER putting them down. Even the complaining is warranted. A parent's job is never over. It's a 24/7 deal. If our child keeps us up all night and we can't function its not good. We have the right to complain, to talk, to get advice. We have the right to NOT be judged for talking to other parents about our issues or hardships.  We have the right to turn to a friend and ask advice and compare horror stories and share survival tips.

Look, let's be honest, no one is going to give you an award for being a great parent but you shouldn't be made to feel like a shitty one for turning to someone to ask for help. If anything it makes us feel like a more normal parent for knowing that the majority of parents are dealing with or have dealt with the same thing.

So how do you feel about Tara's post?