Weight Watchers...The Post

Okay. Well I had promised Heather, (who is doing a giveaway really soon!) that I would make a post about Weight Watchers so here it is.

A while back I had written this post about joining weight watchers. I joined 5 weeks ago instead of in May. I found it to be pointless to join Weight Watchers and then run off on a vacation. It would be counter productive. So I joined a week after coming back from my vacation.

The way WW works is with points. You get X amount of points for your weight, age, type of job you have, and if you are breast feeding or whatever. I get a whole freaking 22 points. Do you know how hard it is to eat only 22 points worth of food? An average breakfast is 6 points, an average lunch about 8-10 points, and an average dinner is about 12 to 14. If I stick to the average type of meal I'm in the negatives DAILY! The good thing is that WW gives you 35 bonus points a week to use when you need some extra help and if you had a really bad day you can always work out and gain activity points which are redeemable towards food. It's great right?

Well let me give you a run down on my weight loss since joining WW.

Week One: +.8 pounds (yes I gained weight)
Week Two: - .8 pounds(so now I'm back to even)
Week Three: +.8 (Ummmm can you fuck off already!?)
Week Four: -.8 (Okay I'm really fucking annoyed here)
Week Five: -2.0 (total weight lose 1.2 pounds because of that first .8 pound gain...)
Week Six (today): +/- NOTHING.. NO WEIGHT CHANGE

You could imagine my frustration. WW basically has to open a second class for the amount of people that we come with. Our WW group (family only) consists of two kids, my husband, my husbands partner, my husband's partners wife, and myself. Todays weigh in EVERYONE lost a minimum of 2 lbs.

Yes I understand I am smaller than the rest of the group that I attend with, in fact I am one of the smallest people in the entire meeting. I understand that its harder for me to lose weight but c'mon only 1.2 pounds in six weeks!? My husband's partner has lost 8 pounds in two weeks! Of course I'm pissed off, of course I'm frustrated.

I feel like I work out so hard...that I stick to this diet (aka life style change) daily and rarelyuse my extra points (I'd rather do activities and earn points then just take extra points). I bought a Wii and the Wii Fit in order to motivate me to work out more. I kick my ass and bust a sweat nearly every day and the scale isn't moving. My WW leader has no words of encouragement of me other than..."be patient" you fucking be patient. You lost 50lbs I can't even lose 2!!!

Then while talking among my little group we decided maybe I wasn't losing weight because I'm now working out and my fat is converting to muscle which weighs more than fat. It's great and fine and dandy and all that but why is this just happening to ME? Everyone else in our group uses the Wii Fit or does physical activity (my George mows the lawn, walks the dog, and all that other non fun stuff) and he is getting muscle AND losing weight? I'm just so frustrated I feel useless going to these meeting.

I put time and effort in going to the meetings. I am often available via email and telephone for my "support group" (the 6 of us that go together plus 2 parents that just come for encouragement) to help them figure out the points values of foods, I look up recipes and calculate the point values and print them up for the WW meetings so everyone can have access to tasty healthy food! I've become a little mini WW leader and I feel so stupid now seeing as how I am the ONLY one not losing weight and I hate it.

I do work out, I do follow the diet, I do tell George what to cook, I do healthy grocery shopping, I am in control of what I eat, I have cut down on bad snacks, I've made a complete lift style change and I'm not seeing the results of this.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that WW is bad, or horrible. I just think that maybe its not meant for me? I might need something else because I just get discouraged when I see the scale not move or move in the wrong direction even if its only a couple of ounces. I've decided I'm going to give WW another month for me but in the mean time I'm going to actually MEASURE myself. I want to know how many inches across everything I am and then track that because maybe I am losing inches (rather cms) but not pounds? I'm just afraid if I stop WW that so will my husband and then he'll be all depressed when he gains the weight back.

Fuck my life. This sucks and now I'm feeling all negative. :( Thank God for my sushi dinner!

Oh Piss Off Already

I had promised myself that I wouldn't use my blog as an output for anger. I had said that I would use it for more positive things and just keep a sort of online journal type of thing or whatnot but I can't help it. It's a proven fact that people are more likely to talk about a bad event then a good one so here I am complaining/bitching/ranting or whatever all over again.

My little nephew came over on Saturday afternoon and told us how he and his father joined Weight Watchers on Monday and how they had each lost 5 pounds to date. I was pretty impressed but then again remembered how the wrestlers were in high school. They'd starve themselves to death the entire day, sweat off the water weight and then make their weight at weigh in and then binge right after the wrestling match. CiCi's Pizza was a hit after our wrestling meets. They'd even stay open late for us if we called ahead. Always willing to help out our local school ya know!?

Anyway my nephew went on to explain how the points system worked and he told me how much his favorite foods were worth and how the points were calculated and how he got to his number of allotted points. I was interested. I'd like to lose some weight. I'd like to lose a lot of weight actually.

So I decided I was going to join Weight Watchers with my husband and we'd join our nephew and my brother in law. Hey, don't they say strength in numbers? I know its easier when you have a support team behind you and if two people live in the same house and are on the same "diet" then it had to be good right? We'd help each other out. We'd encourage each other to eat right, to exercise, and we'd help monitor each others points. (Really can someone please remind me that I don't need a large iced vanilla latte every single morning?)

I was supposed to go to my first meeting tonight, to sign up and all that jazz but plans didn't pan out with the rest of the family so we are going to start next week. We are still trying to eat healthy right now not even knowing how many points we'd be allotted.

Sooooo I went on WeightWatchers.ca in order to find out what my "ideal" weight would be and boy was I floored. The ideal weight for me was between 128 and 160. Ummmm isn't that a little, I dunno, broad? I mean, thats 32 pounds difference. I am happily in between that range but the bad thing is that I'm towards the end of that scale. In fact, I'm about to break the woman code and make my weight known to the entire world wide web, well, umm those that are reading this blog. I weigh a whopping 158 pounds. Yes, me. Those of you who remember me from high school, the little twig is now a full fledged branch.

I think one of the things that really irk me the most is I put on my Facebook status that I'm joining WW and I got mixed comments. I got the "it's great, look at me I'm a success" type of responses, I got the "WTF are you talking about you don't need it," and I got the "if you go there others will look at you funny" responses. I think it irks me because no one can tell how much I weigh because I'm one of the few people that dresses for their size.

What do I mean like that? I don't let my fat hang out. I'm not in denial about having gained weight and still try to squeeze myself into jeans that don't fit and do the muffin top thing, I don't still try to wear a small sized shirt and have my arms begging to be free or my boobs (little as they may be) hoping for some room. I have gained weight, I have purchased new clothes, and I dress for my new body.

Does it bother me? HELL YES. I used to be so fucking skinny. I used to get made fun of in junior high and high school for being so skinny. I got called ANA for anorexic (how original), I got called Olive Oil from Popeye because I was so skinny. I was a twig. In fact, I can remember my weight during those times because I was the same weight for 3 years at a time. Grades 7 thru 9 I was 92 pounds. Grades 10 thru 12 I was 112 pounds. After I graduated high school and moved to Montreal I had surgery and I dropped down to 83 pounds then I got put on steroids and I jumped up to 140. After I stopped those I leveled out the playing field and was about 120 pounds and I was sooooooooo happy. Finally a NORMAL HEALTHY weight. I couldn't get called a toothpick anymore....and no one would tell me that I looked like "a chipmunk storing nuts for the winter," (obviously when I gained weight my cheeks filled out). I was at a weight where people couldn't make fun of me.

All of my bones not only had skin on them but also some meat. I was sooooooooooooo happy!! I managed to stay at my healthy weight for many many years. I think about 6 of them (yes thats many years to go between 120 to 125 and back down. I was always right there in that weight).

I then got a new job and got married and I gained weight. I seriously blame a lot of the weight gain on my latte addiction that I never had before I started to work "a real job". So I'm determined to lose the weight I gained. I'm going to try to get myself down to a healthy 130 pounds, even lower if possible but I'm not delusional. I know that its hard and 120 or 125 may not look right on me anymore but I'm aiming for the stars.

So I guess I'll be using this blog to track my progress as well as the comments I get regarding my attendance at WW meetings. I wonder will the people who look larger at me make snide remarks as to why I am there. Will the welcome me with open arms? Will I feel uncomfortable?

But I've come to a conclusion and that is no matter what your weight is you will get comments on it. I've been teased to high hell for being skinny and people sometimes make jabs (literal and figuratively) at my extra weight gain. It's so annoying that no matter what weight you are people are going to pop a comment. To those people, I'd like to pop your fucking face! :) So basically, don't let people get you down. Let their negativity get you down, instead let it motivate you.