So for those of you who have me on Facebook and Twitter you found out yesterday that I was pregnant. I haven't been feeling well at all and have been having a big fight with morning sickness which is a complete crock. They should really call it "All effing day long sickness". If it was just in the morning it would be perfect. I'd have a great excuse for not coming in on time and then rocking the afternoon with my kick ass work ethic but apparently that isn't going to happen. I am still late for work, I drag my feet the rest of the time...oh wait, that is when I'm ABLE to go to work.
So if you guys remember from my blog post The Talk my boss had actually asked me if I was pregnant and I said no expecting it to be true. My period wasn't even late when he asked me or anything of that sort. The only "sign" I had was my emotionalness. But then again, I'm a Cancer and we are known for being emotional & moody. A week passes and now I am late but again I don't take it into consideration. My period likes to screw with me and left its lovely 28 day cycle and likes to jump between 28-36 days! Yeah, lots of fun eh? Well when I was leaving work two weeks ago the last thing I saw online was that Nicole Richie just released a maternity clothing line, my bosses words rang in my head, and I said, "Well I'm going to the pharmacy to pick up my medications, might as well get a pregnancy test."
Man did I NOT believe it when it said positive. I started crying like a two year old who just got her lollipop stolen. Being typically Jenny, instead of calling my husband first I called my mom and dad and then my sister and then my husband. Sorry George but we Georgio-who's really stick together.
Together we told a few of our family members and some of our friends. We weren't going to say anything until the first trimester was over but I had to post an ad on FB for a maternity leave replacement (Quebec gives you up to a year paid maternity leave and your position is guaranteed when you return) and then I started to get the comments and questions about being pregnant and of course I couldn't deny it so I said Yes. Now everyone knows! :)
Why was I putting an ad up for Mat Leave replacement when I'm not even thru my first trimester? Because of my myasthenia gravis I am high risk and might be put on bed rest anywhere between now and before I give birth. I see my OBGYN on Sept 3rd to discuss how my pregnancy is progressing, how I'm feeling, and to see how long I will be able to come into work at the office. I know I have a sit down job but honestly speaking, my co-workers stress me to the max and they are not worth me having any complications or a miscarriage. In fact if my co-workers were to get hit by a semi, I wouldn't celebrate but I wouldn't exactly be mourning either. And hey, just because a semi hits you doesn't mean you are dead :)
Hopefully after I pass my 3 months all will be well and I won't want to vomit every 15 minutes! So far I've had to cancel my trip to Vegas for work and its looking like I won't be able to fly to Texas either for my reunion. I'm so upset considering how much time and effort I've personally put into planning the reunion along with Heidi and a few others. Maybe I'll drive down? Take a train? Not only that but my parents were really looking forward to seeing me in September and October. :(
So that is what has been going on in my life. Hope you are all fairing better than me.
I know I haven't been around lately here, on Facebook, and especially on Twitter. I am very very sorry. I'm not dead just been busy and I have a lot of things going on. Sorry for not having replied to anyones blogs lately but I will get around to checking out all the blogs later.
My head is killing me so I'm going back to bed now!
So its summer and that means its wedding, engagement, baptism, shower season. It’s actually one of my favorite and least favorite things about the summer. I love that my friends are moving on in life and getting married, having babies and all that other great stuff but I hate that every weekend seemed to be booked by going to an event. Every once in a while you like to just sit at home on your couch on a Saturday. Luckily this season has been a bit different. The majority of my friends who are having these events don’t live locally and as much as I’d love to be able to fly in to help them celebrate, I can’t. But I do send gifts when possible.
I was always taught if you can’t make it to an event, along with your RVSP card saying “I regretfully decline,” you should send a gift. Be it a check, a mixer, or whatever. You shouldn’t just say no empty handed because that person wanted you there to help you celebrate with them.
I did that with most of the events that I had to decline this season…I wasn’t able to make it to a friend’s wedding shower and I tried to buy a gift and have it sent but apparently the place she was registered at didn’t want to take my Canadian credit card. But I did make up for it at another one of her showers (lingerie).
So when it comes to sending gifts what criteria do you use? The reason I ask this is because often at Big Fat Greek Events you can over hear a couple discussing what to put into the envelope (because we don’t normally have box gifts at our weddings, that’s what the wedding shower and housewarming is for). It’s not rare to hear an older couple telling a younger couple, “Oh, you don’t have to put a lot in this envelope, the bride isn’t Greek.” Or “150$ for the both of you is okay, the served chicken!” Yep, that’s what people around these parts do. They look at the following to gauge how much you are worth.
1. Are you both Greek? If not, you just lost at least 25% of the “norm” 2. What type of meal is being served? Chicken?! Shame on you! Beef, way to go. 3. What reception hall is it at? Are you paying $40 per person or are you paying upwards of $100? 4. How well do we know you? Did you invite me because my mom made me invite you to my event?
I think its all stupid. When I go to an event with my husband I think of: “How well do I know them?” I don’t think about if they came to my event, how much did they put in the envelope, what did they serve to eat, are they both Greek or both Italian or Arabic? Who cares? The only thing that should matter is how well you know them and how close you are to them?
I’m obviously going to put more money in an envelope for my cousin then I would for a friend? And I’d put more for my sister than I would for my cousin. If I can’t make it to something I try to either send 100$ or a gift that is approximately that much. I don’t say, “Oh they are having their wedding at the Chateau Royal so their meal is probably $40…” that’s wrong. That’s cheap. At that point just don’t even bother going.
I have a funny story about my wedding. Instead of doing the traditional Greek thing and going to a Greek reception hall which are totally over done and need a MAJOR face lift I decided to go to an Italian hall in the East End. Sure, it’s a bit further away but you know what? I loved my hall. If I would have gotten married in the Greek halls I would have spent about $5,000.00 just decorating the hall to make it look decent. I didn’t have to pay a dime at the Madison. Sure I spent a little more for the meals then I would have at a Greek hall but who cares? I’m only getting married once and I wanted to have an event that I’d never forget. I wanted an event that I would look back at the pictures in 20 years and smile about how perfect everything was.
Some people (I won’t name names!) told me that I would “lose” money if I got married at an Italian hall because the meals were more expensive and people wouldn’t put that kind of money in the envelope. I told that person that I’m not looking at my wedding as a money making event. I’m looking at it as a celebration and if you can come then come. I was told that the Canadians (read “white folks”) don’t put money in envelopes and would bring us a bottle of wine or something and we’d lose money on them so to not invite them. I told that person to stop telling me what to do at my wedding. I’m happy enough to have that person join me at my wedding and I don’t care what they bring. In fact, I had recently met a cousin of a great friend of mine who was having a hard time. He was going through a divorce, he wasn’t enjoying life, and he was out of a job. (Oddly enough his parents were invited to my wedding via my parents. His parents actually married my parents. They put the stefana on them! SMALL WORLD!). I asked him if he had a suit and he said he did. I told him to come to my wedding. (I met him on Thursday, getting married on Saturday…). He said he’d love to but he just didn’t have money to put into the envelope and I told him screw that. Just come. I told him that I’d already given my head count to the hall and one of my husband’s friends cancelled at last minute so I was going to pay for that meal regardless and I’d rather someone be there to eat it then end up trashing it. He thanked me and said he’d come. He did show up and you know what? He had an amazing time hanging out with his cousin, her husband, and a lot of my friends. He loved Table 13.
Well, there was a family of 4 that showed up to my wedding. A family that was related to the person who told me that we’d lose money by doing the wedding at an Italian hall (yes this is important to the story). The husband of this family works for a huge company and brings home a 7 figure paycheck yearly. Do you know what they put in the envelope? A check for $125 for a family of 4. Um, sorry dude but that doesn’t even cover the cost of ONE meal let alone 4. At that rate, why even bother putting anything at all? It made HIM look like a fool and no one else. In fact, my husband and I decided not to even bother cashing the check. That guy called us one day asking why we didn’t cash the check (about a month or two after the wedding) and I told him simply, “Apparently you need it more than I do”. Was it rude? Sure. Do I care? Not really.
Now with all that being said I know that its not everyone’s customs to bring an envelope as a gift. But my question to you is, how do you determine the value of the gift (envelope or box)? Strictly on what you can afford that weekend? If you have to travel to get there? How close you are? The venue that the event is held?