Tuesday, February 17, 2009

He's Just Not That Into You

He spit on your sandwhich because he likes you. He teases you in front of everyone because he has a crush on you. He didn't ask you out because he doesn't want to be the only guy in his group of friends in a relationship. He's just not ready for a serious relationship. He just got out of a serious relationship. He's intimidated by your career/education/social status. He probably lost your number. He just doesn't want to seem to eager.

So...tonight I went out with one of my best friends to see this movie (ignore the medicore reviews, the movie is AMAZING and hilarious!) and I found that the both of us kept on laughing at the most inapproriate times. Well, maybe we weren't laughing at the inapproriate times, maybe we just realized what relationships were like and laughed at the actual funny parts. Why is it funny? Because its true.

Well during the movie and after the movie I thought, "Why do women do this to each other"? Why are we always coming up with these crazy ass excuses as to why a guy never called back or something of that sort. We sit there and read off a grocery list of potential reasons why a guy isn't expressing interest after a initial meeting. We'll say something like he's following the three day rule or he wants to take it slow so he doesn't seem to eager. If more time has passed we tell one another that he guy is probably just scared because we are so beautiful, so smart, so career driven or something. It's so annoying.

Do we all really think that women are such delicate flowers that the truth will cause our petals to wilt? Why are we always trying to sheild one anothers feelings by trying to sugar coat things or try to make excuses for people who obviously aren't interested. I've never been the type of person to sugar coat things and I actually tell my friends what I really feel but I do remember being on the recieving end of some of their advice regarding guys and it was always the same thing. I'm sure that every single person who watches the movie or reads the book can related to one or more of the excuses that were given and it made me laugh. Looking back on past relationships and seeing the mistakes that I made or excuses I made for people. God, are we truly that pathetic?

Whatever happened to being open and honest? What ever happened to going on a date with someone and knowing if you hit it off or not and just saying "I really enjoyed tonight" and really mean it or being honest and saying "Thanks for dinner but I just don't feel anything..." Wouldn't that kind of thing just make life so much easier for everyone?

I guess the reason this struck a chord so much is because one of my friends and her boyfriend recently broke up (oddly enough due to one of the reasons in the movie) and I hate to think that shes going to have to join the dating scene again and have to go through that. Go through wondering if the person really meant what he said or not. Sitting down over coffee and analyzing and reanalyzes everything that a guy said. Did it mean this or that? Did he say it with this type of look on his face or that type of look? Was there a lot of light gentle touching.

Wouldn't it be great if at the end of a date people had to give each other a score hard that had little yes/no check boxes and questions like, "Did you honestly enjoy your date tonight" "Would you go out with your date again" "Do you find the person you went on a date with tonight attractive" etc so people have a better understanding of where they stand by the time they part ways.

Anyways a hilarious part of the movie had nothing to do with the movie but rather someone next to us watching the movie. One of the characters mentioned something about marriage and a guy tells his girlfriend, "See, now back off". LOL. It was just too funny for words.

I recommend that everyone go see this movie and take notes. It's pretty damn obvious if someone is into you or not and if he's not into you... you don't have to drive by where he hangs out, make up excuses for him, call him every 20 minutes until he picks up, stalk his myspace/facebook pages to see if he has other dates etc.

As for my most out of the blue breakup...that has to be courtsey of Costa T. Broke up on Valentines Day when I was 21 years old because, "You aren't dating material, you're marriage material and I'm just not ready for that type of relationship right now." Well guess what buddy, I wasn't ready for marriage at 21 years old but you were completely right, I'm not just dating material I've always been marriage material and I'm very happy in my life so thanks for not making me waste my time. :) Love you lots for that....by the way it was great to see the look on your face when you found out I was in a seriously relationship a few years later.

1 comment:

  1. Most people are offended by honesty -- just try some on the next time you get in an argument. It's why they politics. But this movie you describe is just too much; it's dating reduced to recriminations and duplicity. We could all be better than that.


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