Thursday, November 10, 2011

This blog post is NOT about Joe Paterno OR The Kardashians!

How is that for a blog title? My blog post isn't about them but it is sort of inspired but ONE of these two. Who do you think it is? I'll let you be the judge and you can totally guess within the first few sentences I'm sure.

So its pretty rare that when we decide to take a trip down the aisle that we really don't mean "forever". How many of you have walked down the aisle and thought, "Yeah this should do for a few years?" Most of us go into it with good intentions right?

Well ladies, I have something to say to y'all about getting a divorce for whatever reason. GIVE THE GUY BACK HIS LAST NAME! Seriously, you are DIVORCING him, you are moving on with your life why do you want to hang on to his last name? Don't give me that bullshit about wanting the same last name as your children...Newsflash, here in Quebec when we get married we don't take our husbands last name, our children do...the kids aren't confused. They know who their mom is and as they grow up they realize why. It's the law here...I'm sure explaining to your kid that you and their daddy don't live together anymore and got a won't confuse them. What about the women who aren't married and have children? The last name argument is bullshit.

I have a friend who is divorced. His ex-wife is a major major bitch. Let me sum up the ways that she is a bitch. She cheated on him, got pregnant by someone else while they were married...oh and he was off fighting in the war protecting her rights, oh and then she also started hanging out with all of his friends while they were separated and divorced. Yeah pretty much a major bitch.

They got a divorce and she still uses his last name. It's HER last name now. I get so annoyed with it. She has friend requested me on Facebook no less than 10 times a year and the minute I look at her last name I get all disgusted and want to punch her. Once when we were at the same place at the same time she asked me, "Jenny why don't you accept my friends request or hang out with the group when I'm around." My reply was simple, "I don't like you and think you are a bitch."

They had a fairly peaceful divorce, there was no fighting. It was simply "You are a whore let's get a divorce" and they did it. They signed their agreements regarding custody of the children that were his. But they went their separate ways. Why did she keep his name? There is no real reason other than.... Hell...I don't even know.

So that brings me to my next point. GIVE BACK THE FREAKING RING! What are you going to do it? Wear it like a trophy? Keep it in your jewelry box as a memory of something that ended? Pawn it for some extra cash? I dunno, maybe its the proud woman in me but I don't want it. I don't want the memory of you, I don't want the "trophy" of telling people I failed at marriage, and I certainly don't want something he gave me to get me some extra cash. Basically, I don't need you and I don't need anything FROM you to help me out. I'd rather give back the ring and cut it clean.

I know a few people that have been divorced that actually kept their rings from their ex, gave their new boyfriend the diamond to reset so they could propose. Too me that is cheap and tacky. Sorry. It's not about the size of the diamond but if your hubby to be can't spring for a new diamond for you then thats just wrong. If he can't afford a diamond why not propose with your favorite stone? your birth stone? just a gold band?! I dunno, but I certainly don't want to GIVE my boyfriend a diamond that my EX HUSBAND gave to me so he can propose to me. I feel as if that sort of cheapens me.

So here is my message to Kim Kardashian: GIVE HUMPHRIES BACK HIS RING!!


  1. Oh my goodness. I so agree. If you don't like someone well enough to stay married to him, why would I choose to keep his name? The ring? I see your point on that too. Again, if I don't want him, I don't want the very symbol of a love that has ended.

    I don't ever intend to get divorced, don't believe in it, but if it were to happen, I am fairly certain the ring would be gone. At most, sell it and put the cash in a college fund for the kids. That's not for me, but the result of our marriage. Kim Kardashian - she should give it back. Seriously!

  2. I pray that I never have to make the decisions that these women had to make, but even after 4 years - if something were to happen to my marriage - I don't know that I would be able to drop my "new" last name... Of course I have a son and that just brings up more issues with the mom having a different last name than the child... blah, blah, blah... :)

  3. I have a different last name than my son because I'm not married to his father and right now as a toddler it's not a big deal but as he gets older and goes to school I do think it's going to to be a little annoying. I would want to have the same last name as my kids even if it is "bullshit".

    As for the ring, if it was like your friends whore wife I would return it but if he cheated on me, you could bet your bottom dollar that I was taking it to the pawn shop to make some money off of him LOL

  4. Jenny, this was an excellent post. I can't believe the media storm surrounding the Kris/Kim divorce. It makes me sick. They got married to make a buck knowing that it wouldn't last. I think that's ridiculous. And now I read that she is going to pay him fo the ring. Ug! And yes, I agree with you about the last names. I've pondered in the past whether the woman should lose the last name upon divorce. In many circumstances, I think it makes sense. Really, why would the spouse want to keep it anyway.

  5. My parents are separated and have been for years. They will be finalizing their divorce some day soon. My mother will likely keep his name. It's who she's been for almost 30 years. She shares the name with her children. It matters to her. I don't know why, it just does. She feels like shit about the marriage ending and I guess there is a part of her that is still connected to him. She doesn't hate my dad, they just can't be married.

    Personally? I'd drop the name. But then again? I never took my husband's name to begin with. Only on Facebook.

  6. You live in a community that it's expected your kid doesn't have the same last name as you so your perspective might be a little different. I was going to revert back to my maiden name when I was going thru my divorce but one too many times at my son's daycare, I got the side eye like I was there to kidnap him (it didn't help he didn't look anything like me then). I always thought I'd get married again before now so I just decided to keep my married name. I did like having the same last name as my son. *shrug*
    I also kept the ring. The same thing you're saying a woman can do with it, so will a man. What's HE going to do with it? Put it in his sock drawer? Especially since both my ex AND I were paying for it (we were young - eye roll), so when he turned into a cheating fool, you best believe I kept that shit! People have different experiences and different opinions, there is no absolute right way, everybody's story is different.

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