Letter #1: A Letter to My Best Friend

As I mentioned in my last post I am doing a blog challenge in which I have to write a letter to someone everyday. The list of people I have to write is found on the previous post along with my notes on how easy I think it'll be.

Well....here goes!

Dear Best Friend,


I'm happy that this challenge started off with such an easy person to write. Honestly, this is probably the easiest one on the list.  I just wanted to tell you how proud of you I am.


You have honestly inspired me. You had a dream and went after it and nothing can possibly stop you. In a way, I'm slightly envious of you and what you have accomplished. I know that at times you doubt yourself when it comes to life due to relationships, finances, and living situation but it doesn't remotely compare to the amazing things you HAVE done.


By doing everything that you have done you have inspired me to light a candle under my ass and get going. I have the means to follow my dreams just not the motivation. You motivate me. You give me verbal ass kickings every time we talk about getting my butt in gear.


When I think back to our relationship I can't help but laugh. We've had our ups, our downs, our sideways, and any which way but in the end we always come out on top together. You bothered me for 2 years straight. I barely knew anything about you besides the fact that you sat behind me in class and bugged me. Daily. 


It's been like 15 years we've known each other and I can't picture my life without you. You are such a great person on the inside and outside. I've never met a person who has so much passion, drive, and determination (some might call that stubborn and I guess I can agree from time to time) . No matter what you do you put 110% into it. You always give it your all and that is something to be admired.


I'm going to end this letter by saying two things.


1. I wish we were closer so that we could hang out in person instead of via MSN, text messages, and telephone calls.


2. I love you. A lot.


Love Always.


-J


Others that are particpiating in one of the writing challenges....

• Heather @ Tomorrow Starts Today
• Tasha @ TashSparkles

Writing Challenge times 2.

I've decided to do a writing challenge on my blog as per my friend TashSparkles and she basically got her challenge from another blog located  HERE. Tash is doing two challenges, I'm doing one for the time being. I might join in on the other one another day or I might just start the second challenge after the first ends.

I don't know how well I'll do on this. Do you remember how badly I failed at NoBlPoMo or whatever it was called?

If you feel like participating in this challenge let me know and I'll link your blog to the bottom of my Challenge Posts daily. This way we can spread around the love.


So here is the challenge (and my notes on them) . I sort of want the friends, crushes, etc ones to be anonymous. I'm not going to start off the letter with "My darling dear crush _________" I'll leave out the names....this is merely to protect the innocent.

The 30 Day Letter Challenge

WRITE A LETTER TO THESE PEOPLE :

Day 1 — Your Best Friend -- People probably won't know who this person is. They assume they do but when they read the post they'll be like?!?

Day 2 — Your Crush -- Considering I"m married this will be based on an old crush UNLESS celebrities count. 

Day 3 — Your parents -- Oh jeez. 

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative) -- This one should be fairly easy.

Day 5 — Your dreams -- Ohhhh that can be hard.

Day 6 — A stranger -- This one is probably the easiest.

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush  -- Fuck! Another one!?

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend -- How do I narrow that person down?

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet -- Here is where the celebrities come in!

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to  --Yeah. I totally know who this one is too.

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to -- This one is hard. Very hard.

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain -- I think this kind of...yeah they might be covered in an earlier letter.

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you  -- I know EXACTLY who this one goes out to.

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from -- Some of these seem repetitive to me. I'll have to keep ALL subjects in mind before writing. 

Day 15 — The person you miss the most  - This one is so easy. 

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country -- That is like 95% of the people that I know!

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood -- I can dig it.

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be -- That's hard. 

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad  LMAO. So easy.

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest -- Oh. Yeah. I can write it.

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression -- Ha ha. That would be 85% of the world.

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to -- Uh I'm  not good at forgiving and forgetting.

Day 23 — The last person you kissed  - My husband....that one has to be obvious.

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory -- Wow. I have to think.

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times -- Uh huh. I have this one covered too. 

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to  -- I only pinkie promise with one person...

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day  -- Uh?

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life -- This could possibly be a teacher. 

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to -- Yep. This one is totally covered in a letter above.  

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror -- Darling, you are beautiful! 

Don't forget to let me know if you are participating in this writing challenge so that I can link to your post. The easiest way to leave me your post link is by sending me a DM on twitter (@Tzenaki81) OR by dropping me an email at Tzenaki(AT)gmail(DOT)com

Do you think before you post?

Have you ever really wanted to say something on the internet and then stopped and thought..."Wait, my cousin can read this...." I'm sure we've all been there. We want to say something on Facebook, Twitter, your blog, or wherever, and you just can't because a family member, a friend, or a co-worker may see it.

I hate it. I seriously do. I'm a venter. I do NOT keep things inside and normally my blog is the place I turn to in order to just let it all out. I don't feel like it is wrong but I do feel like it can be seen as wrong. I mean we've all heard the horror stories of people getting fired (or sometimes not hired), family members not talking to each other any longer, or long time friends throwing a friendship away based on something posted on the internet.

I've been there. Well, I was never fired but I did start an anonymous blog about a year and a half ago because I needed to vent and I knew that one of my co-workers stalked my blog, twitter, and facebook in order to email my boss anytime I'd refer to her. My co-worker was obviously extremely intimidated by me and then I just got fed up of hiding behind an anonymous blog. It's not who I am. I got rid of that blog and just said "Fuck it". If someone gets offended by what I say then too damn bad for them. It's not like I write something online and never own up to it. Anything I write online I can, will, and probably have said to their face.

So what brings this up? I had a dream last night and it was very odd. I had a dream that George and I were celebrating some kind of event. It was probably Demi's baptism but I have no idea since that part wasn't in the dream. Anyway, people give envelope gifts (cash!) at these types of events so it was the next morning and George and I were opening the envelopes. I opened an envelope from my God brother Bobby. It was a big fold out card and he had written a lot in the card. He wrote, 1st Congratulations. The next fold had a 2nd and then it had small writing on it. I remember in my dream I brought the card closer to me so I could read it and it said something about "the chaos the internet caused". Then George woke me up. I didn't get to read any more and I was very upset. I got woken up from something interesting that didn't feature Paul Walker.

So when I woke up from bed I tried to think of why would Bobby write something like that in a card. Then I thought about it. I totally bashed his mom on my Facebook last year around my baby shower. I didn't invite my God mother, the lady who baptized me, to my baby shower. I felt (and still feel) like that relationship is dead in the water and we only invite each other to events out of "obligation" and not because we want to. Actually, wait, no, she doesn't invite me, my mom MADE me invite her. My mom made me invite my god parents to my engagement, wedding shower, and wedding. My god mother did NOT invite me to her sons' (both sons) engagements, wedding showers for their brides, baptism for one grandchild, but invited me to both weddings. Like seriously?

Why would you invite me to the wedding but none of the events leading up to it? Why would you NOT invite me but you invite all your other god children? I'll tell you why. Our relationship is very strained. I moved away when I was 4. She didn't see me again until I was 14. I moved back when I was 18. We saw each other in the beginning a lot and then I moved out of my aunt's house and I never saw my god mother again unless it was a special occasion. I got sick of it. I don't want them to come because they feel they HAVE to and I don't want to be invited because they HAVE to invite me. So I made a decision and told my mom that I would NOT be inviting my god mother to my baby shower nor would I be inviting their family to Demi's baptism. The last event that I would attend for them would be Bobby's wedding.

My God mother bought me a gift for Demi. She knew she wasn't invited to the baby shower because my aunt and uncle are some how related to her. What does she do? She goes and buys D an outfit (A Christmas dress for a 3 month old (D was set to be born in April), a snow suit for a 3 month old (again baby was born in April), and some ugly shoes. The whole thing must have cost $12 from the Wal-Mart post Christmas sale ( baby shower was in February). She doesn't bring the gift to me. She takes it to my sister's work and asks my sister to bring it to me. Seriously? How fucking ghetto are you? She writes a card and in that card she writes that she is very sorry that we have lost touch over the years but it's my fault. So wait, are you giving me a gift solely to find a way to turn the situation around and make me at fault?

My mom kept on urging me to call my god mother and thank her very much for the gift. I told her that I would be sending a thank you card to her like I am for everyone else who attended the baby shower. But my thank you card isn't a generic "thank you". I always write "thank you for the _______ I'm sure Demi will enjoy it when _____" or something to that extent.

My thank you to my God mother was a bit harsh. I thanked her for the gift and then continued to tell her that blaming me for her errors was tacky. I told her that after my engagement I sent her a thank you card telling her how thankful I was for the thoughtful gift she got me and how we've lost touch and should get together for dinner or coffee one day. I left my cell number and said to call when she is ready. She never called. I said "Fuck it". In the card I told her she was to blame and that after her son's wedding we could consider it the end of the relationship. I also told her how I was holding back/being nice in my card out of respect for my parents. She did not congratulate me on the birth of my daughter at her son's wedding and she barely acknowledged my being there. It was great. It made ending the relationship even easier.

So then I started thinking this morning. Do I really trash people that badly on the internet that it causes chaos in their lives? Yeah I do...BUT...lets be honest here. I do NOT write anything on my blog that I haven't already said to their face. Sure I called my god mother a bitch on Facebook. I basically wrote the exact same thing in the card I sent her only I worded it more nice. I've posted about how my co-worker can drive me up the wall and back and called her out on her lies BUT I have discussed the issue with my boss and let him know how I feel about her and the situation. I've called the co-worker a liar to my boss and he's confronted her on it. I've called out my cousin for not sharing holidays on my blog and YES I've told her how I think its very selfish of her and how I hated it and would not go to her home until she learns to share (guess what this year she shared).

You always hear people talk tough on twitter and on their blogs. I may talk tough but I do back it up and I'll always say it to your face.

So my advice to you, before blogging, tweeting, or updating your status about your friends, family, and co-workers, be sure that you can own up to it if ever confronted. If you can't then think twice before hitting submit!

Jealousy & Hypocrisy

So here I am blogging again. That makes twice in one week. I am patting myself on the back and I think you should all give me a high five. I don't think I've EVER done that....at least not since Demi was born.

So my last blog post got some people worked up. There wasn't much action in terms of comments on the blogs but the feedback on Twitter was overwhelming. (That is a great thing). Apparently I was not the only Tweeter/Blogger to get annoyed by BMM. One of BMM's friends, mignons, lovers, admirers, asshole lickers was very quick to attack on twitter while NOT saying it to me.

BirthBabiesBitch (BBB) was making passive aggressive comments on Twitter regarding my blog but apparently didn't have the balls to address her comments or concerns directly to me. Now seeing as how I unfollowed her I had her tweets brought to my attention from other people who think she is as dumb as I KNOW she is.

Her snide comments were along the lines of "I love how jealous people trying to slam popular bloggers to get attention to their blog" "Some people are just so jealous of other bloggers success" Once I saw those tweets I replied directly to BBB telling her that I'm NOT jealous. What do I care if someone has 203478023948203942 sponsors? Does this look like a blog that is actively looking for sponsors? Does my writing scream "Please let me pimp out your products and I'll write great things about it?" Uh no. This is a venting blog, a personal blog, MY BLOG. I don't want sponsors, I don't want people paying me to write about their products by either giving me advertising money or free products, I don't want to feel like my blog is a job.

So apparently I was just blogging about BMM in order to get attention to my blog. Seriously? Before the post I wrote earlier in the week my last blog was written in September. Two freaking months ago...three now that we hit December. Do you really think I'm trying to up my follower count? Do you really think that was my purpose? If you do then you really are a stupid cu- Oh wait, I'd call you a cunt but you really don't have the depth of the warmth.....

Then I got called a hypocrite because I wrote on Twitter that my blog hits had gotten really high off of one post. BBB writes (again not to me) something along the lines of "I like how people who slam popular bloggers in one tweet talk about their blog hits in the next. Hypocrite". Really? I'm a hypocrite? Really? Me?! I'm not allowed to be shocked at the number of people who read that blog? I'm not allowed to comment on it? I wonder if BBB has ever heard of cause and effect? But really, me? A hypocrite?

Isn't a hypocrite someone who says they won't do something and then they do it? Like, "Oh my god. I believe every woman should fight till her dying breath for a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section) and then they schedule a c-section". I'm fairly certain that falls under the category of hypocrite. Now don't get me wrong. I have nothing against c-sections. I'm not an "vist" of any kind (lactavist, VBACvist, Intactivist). I believe everyone should do what is best for their family and their current situation but I HATE when people are like "No....so many c-sections in this country are done for no medical reason what so ever. More women should fight for their right to have a VBAC. They need to find doctors willing to support their decision yadda yadda yadda. And what do they do next? They decide to schedule a c-section because "well my case is a medical case". Um are you sure? You can't try? You preach to everyone about at least TRYING a VBAC yet you schedule a c-section months in advance of your due date! Oh but I forgot. I'm a hypocrite! Whatever.

BBB has also called me an internet thug, or trying to act all hard behind a computer screen. I just have one thing to tell her and all of you. THIS IS ME. I'm exactly the same way in real life. I have a big mouth and if it pops into my head you'll hear about it. I'm not afraid to say what I feel. My blog is named Giftedly-Outspoken for a reason. I'm outspoken. My mother always taught me to speak my mind (although I'm sure she hoped I'd be more tactful). My grade 9 Physical Science teacher wrote in year book that my openness and honesty was refreshing but sometimes I'd look better if I held my tongue. After I read that I opened my mouth, grabbed my tongue and started talking to her. I let go of my tongue and I told her "I guess you're wrong. Holding my tongue isn't a good look for me."

I'm not an internet thug, I'm not a bully, and I'm not acting hard. This is just who I am. If you don't like it I invite you to unfollow the blog, unfollow me on twitter, or click the X in the upper right hand corner of your computer screen.

'Til next time!

Open Letter to CuntfaceBabyMakingMama

Let me preface this blog by warning you all that it's NOT nice. Let me also warn you that I don't give a damn if you think I'm not nice and I don't care if you post comments calling me a bitch. Let's try telling me something I don't already know!!

Dear CuntfaceBabyMakingMama,
Over the past few months I've watched you go from nice, to tolerable, to slightly annoying, to shut the fuck up you stupid bitch. It really didn't take long to get from Point A to Point B. Your annoying factor would escalate by the minute...second even.At first I didn't understand why people thought you were annoying. I thought you were just a lost little soul who was utterly confused about every aspect of pregnancy, breast feeding, and raising a kid. I mean, for fucksake, you posted questions on your blog and twitter practically every 15 minutes. Then upon closer examination I realized what you were doing. You were PURPOSELY asking controversial questions on twitter to drive traffic to your blog. Why would someone do that? Ohhhh I know. You wanted a sponsored pregnancy! You wanted companies to pay you or give you shit to advertise on your blog since you were getting traffic. Hmmmmm...

What I find hilarious is that you claim to be a journalist and that you post these types of questions in order to "get both sides of the story". I have an idea... Why don't you shut the fuck up and do what most normal journalist do. RESEARCH. Woah. What a fucking new concept. I mean crack open books, bust out the computer and research what doctors have said, what experts think. Why take it to Twitter and your blog? You want to know what "real" people think? Oh c'mon. How many people lie on the internet?! I can sit there and say that I'm a 100% Attachment Parenting type of person and I co-sleep, baby wear, breast feed etc.... and give YOU advice about something I know NOTHING of. So no you dumb bitch, you aren't doing it to find out what people think or to get both sides of every story. You are doing it in order to get more traffic to your blog in order to get people to pay you. Basically, you are whoring yourself out. I'm very sure that the Church of Latterday Saints is happy that you are not only whoring out yourself but your kid too.

So, one of your main reasons for breast feeding is because you were "cheap" (Your words not mine) and you weren't "broke enough yet" to cloth diaper (I guess you got broke enough since you do it now?) yet you suddenly have money to buy a skeptic of cloth diapering a starter set? Ironically enough this starter set is the same kind from a company that sponsors you. I'm gonna go out on a not so big limb here and say that you aren't buying shit. It's being given to you like a whole bunch of other things. Do I have an issue with free things? Not at all. I do however have issues with sponsored pregnancies and sponsored "raising of children". Stop and think...Would Lil J actually have all the stuff she has if you weren't a "sponsored" parent. If companies weren't giving you shit for free would your kid have the shit she has? The answer is NO because you are a self proclaimed cheapo. I mean, 20$ on your water bill increase has made you start washing less often etc. So basically Lil J would have a completely different life if it weren't for your "sponsors". I wonder if all your sponsors know what a two faced bitch you are.

You like to come across as completely sweet and innocent and get oh so offended if someone writes something mean about you. You like to play the victim. You aren't the victim you are the anti-victim. You like controversy because it gets you attention. Well here is the last bit of it you'll ever get from me.

By the way, before you call someone a troll I suggest you take a family picture and stare at it and try to figure out who actually LOOKS like a troll.

In case you need a little refresher... TROLL

ETA: I've decided to edit this post a little bit in order to add a few important bits!

1. I have NO issue with mother who generate revenue from their blogs. I don't mind people who do giveaways on their blogs (Hell, I enter them). I don't like when people pretend to be all about the "info" and "interaction" while they are actually trying to get sponsored or make money off their blogs.

2. The Cuntface mentioned above keeps on posting on Twitter about Cry It Out (CIO) or Feberizing her baby. CIO is basically letting your child cry themselves to sleep. They call it "self soothing". This dumb bitch claims to be doing a "softer" Feber method...then later admits that she is trying a technique that she HASN'T read the book on! She is just picking and choosing what she wants to hear. A soft or hard version of Feber still equals CRYING IT OUT. Doesn't matter if your kid cries for 2 minutes or 3 hours, crying it out is crying it out. DUMB BITCH.

3. As you can see from the comments below, I'm not the only person who thinks this about her and I am NOT the first one who has called her out on it. @CrunchyVTMommy also has written a post on her. (Find it by clicking on her Twitter user name! Links you directly to her post!)

4. I still think shes stupid. That opinion will not be changing any time soon.

5. It irks me that people actually sponsor her and let her spew random shit out. How can Bravado let her blog for them? Do I want to take breast feeding advice from someone who doesn't know shit about it? Do I want to take breast feeding advice or follow the journey from someone who started giving their kid "sneaks" of her adult food. Seriously? Bravado wants us to learn something from her!? I use the term "us" loosely because I am not a breastfeeding mom but you get my point right?

Are we a weaker race now?

Well well well. What do we have here. Me...blogging? Hell must have frozen over....or wait, maybe I just found a few minutes to myself? I think its the latter no?

I've had this topic in my head for a while and then I finally decided to just go for it. You know what it is? It's about how freaking sensitive we've become as a "people". Everyone gets their panties in a bunch over the smallest thing. They take something not aimed towards them as an attack towards them, their race, their religion, their sex, their sexuality or whatever. It's like, Get over it already! Not only that...are we weaker as a race? As society?

What do I mean? Well...you must be living under a rock if you haven't seen Jersey Shore. All of a sudden all Italian Americans got all offended that they were being misrepresented. Yes...the entire world must think ALL Italians act like horny walking STDs.... When I watch that show do I assume that every Italian likes to be called a guido or guidette? Do I assume they all travel with a carry on full of BRONZER? Do I assume they all like to drink up a storm and will fuck anything that has two legs and a warm hole? Um no. What do I think? I think it makes for some seriously entertaining television. I think that these kids are making asses of THEMSELVES and portraying themselves in a way that I'm sure in 5 years they'll be embarrassed by. If ANYONE watches that show and decides to lump all Italians into one big group...well...how do you put it nicely? They are FUCKING DUMB....Yeah that just about covers it! (Oh and maybe someone should let them know that the majority of the cast are NOT Italian...)


Moving on...


Another hot topic is peanut free schools. Do I get it? Yeah, I can totally get it but at the same time I don't. I realize some people are deathly allergic to nuts but how exactly is it the fault of everyone else?! *Collective gasp* Yeah I said it. I'm sorry when I was in school people were allergic to nuts and they never made our schools peanut free. In fact if you forgot your lunch or lunch money at home the school provided you with....a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and milk! Yes the SCHOOL GAVE OUT PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES! Well what if you are allergic? Um, you speak up and say "I'm allergic can I have a grilled cheese instead!?" Yeah its that simple. Please don't tell me that young kids won't know better. A family friend came over to visit us when Demi was first born. They brought their 3 year old. I said hi to her and she said this, "Hi I'm Eva and I'm allergic to nuts.." THREE YEARS OLD! Right away I knew what NOT to offer her. Did I still leave the nuts out for the adults. I sure as hell did. They, as parents, are responsible for their child. They shouldn't allow their kid to eat nuts...not stop everyone else from having nuts.

If we think about it a lot of people are now being diagnosed with Celiac disease, the inability to breakdown/digest gluten. Do they insist that the school become gluten free? What about those who are allergic to penicillin... do we insist none come into the school?

I think every parent should properly pack their child's lunch. I think the parents should explain to the kids about allergies and the dangers of trading a sandwich or snack with a kid...a kid should know what they are allergic to and just not eat anything with it. Why should the entire school become peanut free?

Was it that allergies weren't that dangerous when I was in grade school? Is it that the school board just didn't give a flying fuck? Maybe our parents didn't care enough about us to insist the school become peanut free? Oh wait, maybe we were just a bit tougher back then and we weren't babied to death. We were supposed to know what could harm us and not harm us...


Okay maybe this one will make you hate me...Why do we coddle our children sooooooo much? What do I mean? The smallest thing happens to our kids and then we think "they need professional help" "they need to speak to someone"... I totally get it if something tragic happens, a parent dies, they are sexually assaulted or whatnot. But NOT EVERYTHING WARRANTS FACE TIME WITH A SHRINK!!

There are two teenagers that I know that have had some medical issues. Nothing that can kill them, not cancer, just medical problems. Guess what? Their doctors recommended they talk to a child therapist in order to discuss how they are feeling because apparently being sick can make you sick in the head. Yeah. I said it. I'm a bitch.

When I was 13 years old I was diagnosed with an immune disease that affects my muscles and my use of said muscles. Which muscles? Every single freaking muscle. This is something that would affect my every day life. I had to make changes. I had to take medication...wait, let me rephrase that...I HAVE to make changes, I HAVE to take medication. Do you know how we dealt with that? I went home from the doctor with my dad. I EXPLAINED TO MY PARENTS what the doctor said best I could (old fashioned Greek parents that totally aren't getting what immuno-suppressants and nerons etc are) in some kind of horrible translation, I explained what the medication would do, and we made the changes that we needed to. If I was having a bad day (pitying myself) I'd talk to my mom or sister about it. I'd bitch. I'd complain. I'd read. I'd listen to music. I coped. Nowadays, this type of thing could harm a child. It can make them hate themselves. They need PROFESSIONAL freaking help.

Were we expected to be tougher back then? Did our parents not care about us? Did the doctors not care about us? Was my (and other children patients) mental health not a concern to the doctors? Do we know more today about how certain things can affect a child's mental health then we did back when I was 13? Or is it that we are just softer as a whole. We coddle our children more don't let them develop a thick skin. We don't let them deal with issues. We try to protect them so much that by the time they get out in the real world they are going to be completely and totally fucked up. They aren't going to know what hit them.


I dunno, maybe I'm a bitch but I think that we just coddle EVERYONE, adults and children alike, way too much and its making for a softer, weaker, overly sensitive population. :(

Relationship Rules...oh wait, I mean common sense!

You know the types of things that people post on Twitter and Facebook are extremely alarming. Seriously, people feel so comfortable in the cyberworld that they forget that people in the real world really know them. I don't get why people post half the crap they do...but they do and of course that leaves people like me something to blog about so I don't mind so much.

From my past few years of social networking and my recent year of twittering I've picked up a few relationship rules that I figured I'd share with you. Hell, I might be saving your relationship as we speak. You can totally thank me later. I also accept tips via my paypal :)

1. If you don't want people questioning why you are in a certain relationship stop writing crazy shit as your status or latest blog post. If you tell everyone that your husband hits you...people will call him abusive. If you tell people that he constantly ridicules you, they will still call him abusive as well as scum and other choice words. Don't expect because the next day he bought you flowers for everyone to be "Oh that's so freaking sweet!" It's called sucking up because he wants your dumb ass to stick around so that he can continue to beat on you. He's an insecure man and you are insecure therefore an easy target for him. Don't find excuses for him, "Oh he was drunk. Oh he had a hard day at work. Oh his mom had really gotten under his skin that morning". I don't give one fucking shit how bad his day was, how much he drank, or who pissed him off....it doesn't give ANYONE the right to take their shit out on their spouse. STOP complaining about how shitty he is and continue to stay with him and then make excuses. Get the fuck off of that train and soon. I seriously have a feeling in my stomach that one of my twitter friends will end up dead at her husbands hands within the next few years. Yes, its that bad.

2. CHILDREN DO NOT SAVE MARRIAGES. If you and your spouse are thinking of ending your relationship having a baby will NOT help. It might at first, for a few weeks, or months, or even a year but then all those feelings you felt will come up again and you'll still end up divorced....only now you are dragging innocent little kids into it. Eventually you will end up hating your spouse and likely resenting the kid too. Kids shouldn't be used as pawns in a marriage. Have kids when you are happy in your HEALTHY relationship and when BOTH of you want them. I have a friend from HS who was miserable in his marriage. He stayed with his wife for the sake of their first kid. The more they talked about divorce the more angry she got. She got herself knocked up again and now he's staying for the sake of the kids. He's miserable, she's miserable and the kids feel that tension. (Seriously folks, if you are thinking of divorcing your spouse how about you keep your private parts to yourself to this type of shit doesn't happen?)

3. ENTRAPMENT. What do I mean? Say you are that couple that has a super rocky relationship. You are together for a week, broken up for a week, together for 3 months, broken up for 1 month... yeah... those types of couples should seriously invest in birth control. Let's be honest, usually when people have those rocky relationships its because one person wants more than the other. Someone wants to get married and the other doesn't...one wants kids and the other doesn't. People that are on the same page rarely have roller coaster relationships. If you are in a relationship like this USE BIRTH CONTROL. If your girlfriend wants to get married and have kids and you don't....do NOT rely on her for birth control. Use a fucking condom. That is the type of girl who will "accidentally" get pregnant. Why? Because she thinks that by her being pregnant she'll get it all. The ring, the baby, the house, and the perfect life. It's RARELY like that. Okay, so say he does give you a ring. He proposes and agrees to marry you...is that what you really want? You want a guy to marry you ONLY because he wants to do right by his child? He doesn't want to marry YOU for YOU...he's doing it because he feels PRESSURED by either his family or society to "do right by you"? I don't know about you but I have way too much self esteem and self respect to trap a man into marrying me. If you don't want me for me I'm not going to scheme to come up with plans to get you to marry me. I'm moving on honey. I mean, isn't that really shitty? You basically ruined someone else's life by tricking them and forcing them to be a husband and a father when they didn't want that at all for themselves? Oh, word to the wise, for those of you who have done this or plan on doing this DO NOT TELL ANYONE. Why? Because one day the cat will find its way out of the bag and you are going to drag other people through your shit and I'm sure they don't want to be there. Huh? Say you do this and you tell your best friend... or a good friend...or a friend in general. You guys have a huge fight. You both explode and say things that you either really mean or don't mean so much. Now trapped husband is listening and the friend screams something like, "oh yeah, at least I didn't trick "enternamehere" into marrying me bitch!" Yeah, you are pretty much screwed. Especially if boyfriend and you had trust issues prior to that. Do yourself a favor and don't tell anyone...not in real life, not on twitter, not on facebook. Take that shit to the grave.


Yeah so those are my few short tips. It's sad to think that its 2010 and some people still don't get it. It's not rocket science people, its freaking common sense! I'm sure I'll see more things and update this list in another blog post at a later date...until then....keep posting random shit for me to see! :)