So there seems to be a common theme on my blog posts. A lot of comments or emails will be like, "Wow, I can't believe you wrote that. Tell us how you really feel." "Oh my god, I'd never be able to say that!" and I've always wondered why. It's can't possibly be that my ass constantly overrides my mouth can it? It can't be that I'm always such a bitch.
Then I take the time to check out the blogs of the people who leave me those comments, emails, or tweets. There is a huge difference between their blog and my blog. I'm not sponsored or doing reviews/giveaways. I've been debating for a while of if I've wanted to seek out sponsorships. I think that they are great and they benefit everyone. The company sponsoring you gets more recognition and when doing reviews/giveaways your blog readership base pretty much grows. It's a win/win situation.
BUT then I think about "who would sponsor me". My blog isn't all sunshine and roses. Its real. Its raw. Its me. I curse, I say mean things, I don't hold my tongue. There aren't very many companies who want to sponsor someone like that but I don't forsee me changing the way I write to please someone else.
Can I clean up my mouth a bit on my blog? Can I stop dropping the F-Bomb? Sure I can. Can I try to sugar coat the meanness? Sure I could...but it wouldn't be mean. Yes, I'm the one who said "I'm unfollowing someone ugly" on Twitter and then later got called a bully and had a whole blog post dedicated to me and how I obviously must feel horrible about myself since I'm being "mean". I'd hate to NOT be able to blog about how a company did something to irk me, or how my sister in law is an annoying twit. I'd hate to have to basically censor everything I'd want to say because of a sponsor.
So do any of you feel that you are giving up a part of yourself when blogging and being sponsored? How do you NOT lose yourself?
Since I'm not the greatest at blogging on a regular basis I've been thinking of either doing a 30 day blog challenge (last time I failed miserably but they were "letter a day" type of things and y'all see how I write. I don't do "short") or try a writer's workshop.
For now I've decided on a workshop. :)
The writing prompt I choose to write about something embarrassing that happened at school. I'm hoping that college counts as school because otherwise I can't really recall embarrassing.
I should preface this by letting you know that I moved to Montreal when I was 17 years old. Straight out of high school and didn't know anyone who wasn't related to me. I withdrew from college my first semester due a big surgery and long recovery. I spent a lot of time on ICQ (way back when!).
So one day I'm chillin on ICQ and I guess someone did a search for people in Montreal that went to a specific college because I got a message from some random dude. I was bored so we started talking. Found out that his name was Tim her went to the same college as me but he was enrolled in a different program. He sent me a few pictures of him, I sent him a few pictures of me. We really hit it off. After about a week of talking he asked if I wanted to meet him.
We agreed to meet during "universal" which is an hour and a half on Wednesdays when no one has class. I had suggested the "Greek" cafeteria and he declined. He suggested "Italian" cafeteria and I declined (the reason why is a whole other story.....I might add it to this blog post). We basically decided that since we hadn't ever met in person before that going to the cafeteria when the entire campus didn't have class could be tricky trying to recognize one another. We agreed to meet on the 4th floor of the library, obviously a place that college students don't go to.
So its Wednesday, I just got out of English and am walking with a friend. As we approach the library I let her know that this is where I get off for today and that she should call my cell if she doesn't hear from me within an hour and a half. I walk into the library and it strikes me that we didn't really agree to WHERE we'd meet. By the check out desk? By the doors? By the computers? At a table that there are only like 50 of? I don't have to wonder for very long. Tim comes up to me within a minute of me being in the library. We do the European air kiss thing, we give hugs, and of course say hi and whatever. We agree to go to an ethnic neutral place to grab a bite to eat. Jake's cafeteria. (Yes my college had like 19 freaking cafeterias). As soon as we take like 3 steps towards the door I trip. On what? I have no freaking idea. It was like my legs just gave out of me. I was like "Uh, yeah....sorry...I think I tripped on my pant leg". He helped me up and we laughed it off.
During our meal some of our friends would drop by where we were eating and just say hi and whatever. One of my friends took that opportunity to invite us to her Halloween party. I was obviously going to go but Tim...well, we had just met. He didn't have to go. He said he'd think about it and we went on with our lives. Over the course of the week Tim and I would talk on the phone (the things we did before text messaging!) and on ICQ. He told me that he would be coming to the party and asked what time he should show up. I told him I was going early to help my friend set up and to come when he was free.
Halloween is upon us and my friends and are I decorating the apartment. We are getting our drink on as we decorate as well. The party starts and we are all having a good time. I'm in the kitchen making some drinks when someone calls out to me, "Jenny, Tim is here!". I'm not going to lie, I got a bit excited. I skipped/walked to the door and as soon as I saw him.....I fell.
Seriously. At least this time I knew WHY.
Let me explain: Montreal + Halloween = Winter (Ice/Snow/Rain)
Winter + Hard wood floors = slippery.
Slippery + A natural born klutz = Hi Jenny meet the floor...again
As Tim helped me up I laughed and promised him that I did, in fact, know how to walk. One of my friends popped a comment about Tim making me weak to my knees. It wasn't true. Sure he was attractive but he was no Paul Walker. I didn`t speak to Tim again after that Halloween party. I kind of wonder if its because he thought that I couldn`t walk?
Yeah that is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me....so I guess I'm not too bad right?! If that is the worst thing that has happened then I'm getting off easy!
P.S. The reason I didn't want to go into the Italian Cafeteria is because when I was dating a guy named Marco he asked me to meet him in the caf. As soon as I walked in like 200 people started clapping as he approached me to walk me to the table. I got introduced to half the Italian population of the school that day and that freaked me the heck out. I could never walk in there again!
What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you at school?
This blog post might hit a few nerves so I apologize in advance if you get offended by this. It is not my intention to offend, its just my intention to say what I feel.
I get annoyed when I come across twitter handles and blog names and emails that are soandsos'smom. It drives me insanely crazy. I don't really know why this is bothers me but it does. I guess I've always thought of it like, Yes, my daughter IS my biggest accomplishment but she is NOT the only thing in my life that I've accomplished. I'm a mother but I have an identity outside of a mom. I wear more than one hat, don't you?
Growing up I hated being called "Alex's little sister". Along with correcting them that I'm the "younger" sister NOT the little sister I'd be sure to throw my name in there. I'm "Jenny, Alex's younger sister," or if you prefer "Alex's younger sister, Jenny." Now that I'm older I still get ticked off by those types of labels. I dropped Demi off at daycare the other day and a parent goes to me, "Are you Demi's mom" "Yes, I'm Jenny, Demi's mom."
Now my post isn't about the lack of using my name and only referring to me as a mom but its about the message we send to our children, mainly our daughters. From the moment we give birth nowadays we are freaked out by trying to remain gender neutral and not push a sex on a kid. We try not to give dolls to girls and trucks to boys. We try not to use terms like "sweet girl" and "strong boy". We don't stress boy toys or girl toys and boy colors and girl colors. We teach both our sons and daughters that they can be anything they want to be. We love and support them in anything they do. We teach them about doing what they want and finding themselves. We allow our children to form their own identities and we support them in that. When we notice that our children are out of line we discipline them, when we notice they are too shy we try to coax them out of their shell. But we always support their identity. The kid is girlie, a tomboy, tough, a bit weak, in touch with this/her feelings, emotional...we work with our kids and figure out how to approach them. How to talk to them, how to discipline them depending on their personalities.
Then a funny thing happens, our daughter's grow up and become moms and even we stop calling them by their names. We'll ask our grandchildren "Where is your mommy? What did your mommy say? Did mommy make you breakfast today?" We stop talking to our children about how their day was an instead ask how THEIR child's day was. We spent all this time teaching our children to become their own person and then we let them lose it and just focus on their being a mom. We tell our daughters to never fall into a man's shadow. To stand on their own and be their own person. Don't rely on a man for money, emotional support, or anything. Be equals. Be partners. Then somehow we end up allowing our children to go from "Jenny" to "Demismom.blogspot.com" We say nothing of this we think this is completely normal. It's NOT.
It gets under my skin. Maybe my mom raised me different, maybe I'm too hard headed? I don't want to just be known as a mom. There is so much more to me than what I popped out of my vagina. Now I don't mind being a mom, in fact I love it but its not everything that encompasses me. If that makes me a bad mom then I guess I'm a horrible mom. I guess I'm just urging more moms to step out of their children's shadows and be your own person. Don't be just a mom.
Does this get under your skin or are you one of the offenders!?
There is a cute Meme happening on the blogosphere these past few days and I decided to jump in on it.
Did you look at rings together?
Nope. I had mentioned from the get go that I can not stand solitaire settings. I am a very social person and I believe that my diamond should be as well. George asked me email him some pictures of engagement rings I just loved and he had one of them made for me!
Do you like your ring? Did you from the beginning?…and be honest!
I LOVED my ring. I adored it. It was perfect and exactly what I always wanted.
How often do you wear your rings?
Every single day. I think I only took it off when we went on our honeymoon and I went in the ocean with it for the first time. I thought I was going to lose it so I ran back to the hotel and put it in the safe.
Do you clean your rings?
You'd be very surprised at how well a salt water pool can clean your ring.
What went through your mind the very first time you saw your ring?
It's about freaking time!!! I was in shock at how George proposed to me and I couldn't take my eyes off of my stunning ring. It completely floored me that it was exactly what I wanted.
I had seen our wedding bands because we picked them out together.
Thank you to Cheryl for an amazing photograph of the rings that she took at my daughter's baptism.
It seems I have a knack for choosing crappy places to eat. A few months ago I wrote about a dining experience gone way way wrong.. A little update to that: My sister and I went back with our husbands and parents a few months ago. AMAZING food and amazing service. We were more than pleased.
But....There is a restaurant in my city called Tripoli, its a Greek place with amazing food. The food has NEVER been bad but the service, OMG, the service is horrible. Every single time we go we complain about the service. If you are drinking beer you need to order 3 at a time just to ensure you'll have enough to get you through the meal.
Last time I was there was October 2010. We went for a friend's birthday. We started our dinner at 7pm and ended at 11pm. It wasn't because we were drinking and enjoying ourselves, it was because the service was soooooooo slow. I said I wouldn't go back because I just don't enjoy myself. I don't enjoy waiting 45 minutes for our EMPTY plates to be taken away in order to bring us our next course. I don't enjoy waiting 45 minutes for you to bring me a glass of water. It just isn't enjoyable and no matter how good the food is, its not worth it to me. I swore I wouldn't go back. I did pretty good, nearly a year.
Today I get home from work and this is the conversation we had:
DH: Hey did George call or text you?
Me: No, why? What's up?
DH: Where is your phone?
Me: In my back pocket. Why George, what is up? Is something wrong.
DH: Can you look at your phone?
(I pull my phone out of my pocket and see that I do NOT have a missed call or text)
DH: Well he's going to call or text you soon to see if you want to go out for dinner tonight...............to Tripoli.
Me: Man really? Okay fine since its George.
A few minutes later the house phone rings and we confirm that we are going to meet there at 7pm. I change D's clothes and get dressed pack the diaper bag and walk to the car.
We get to Tripoli where we are greeted by the owners wife. She asks if we are only 2 plus the baby. I said no, 6 plus the baby. We get seated and we are now waiting for the rest of our party to arrive.
3 minutes later the owners wife comes up to just George, myself, and the baby and says, "Would you like to place your order now or are you waiting on the rest of your party?" Uhhhh what the freak do you think? If we wanted to order ourselves, without the rest of our table we might as well stayed home.
So now our entire table is seated, we are waiting....and waiting....and waiting.....for someone to come see us to ask if we'd like to order our food or maybe even a drink. We place the entire order TOGETHER. We ordered drinks, apps, and main meal at the same time to save the waitress the trouble of coming back to our table to keep taking orders. George orders 2 beers in one shot. Do you know how long we sat at a table with no food, no drinks, and no explanation as to why we had none? FORTY-FIVE minutes. Yes 45 minutes with an empty table.
Our appetizers get to the table before our drinks do. As the waitress is handing out the appetizers she says, "Your drinks are on their way." FROM WHERE? Freaking Mexico? Shouldn't they have arrived FIRST? A few more minutes pass and she comes by our table again and says," Your drinks will be right out." FINALLY our drinks come, George orders another beer just for good measure and my husband points out to the waitress that she forgot to bring one of plates from the kitchen. She rushes back and brings it to us.
Now we finish our apps, we are waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for the meal courses to be brought out. Heck, we are waiting for them to even come and pick up our app dishes. Nope, no luck. Another 45 minutes passes and the waitress tells us at this point, "Everything will be smooth sailing from this point on." The table behinds us gets up before their food arrives, complains to someone and walks out. I felt like doing the same thing but somehow George knows the guy and it would be rude. Really? It's rude making people wait that long for food and water...and did you notice notice the 17 month old with us who was getting very tired and VERY impatient?
Nothing was smooth sailing, we waited another 10 minutes for our food. While we are waiting for our food the restaurant begins to fill with smoke. Something was burning and of course they couldn't admit that by opening a door or window right? Oh and at this point we are debating just asking them to cancel our main meals. As we flag the waitress over she is bringing our salad/main course. The fries that our plates came with were so over cooked that they were actually chips...expect they weren't thin enough to be chips. Look, if I wanted chips I would have opened a bag of Lays and called it a night. This is insane. Everyone just shuts their mouths and eats the edible portions of their food.
We ask for the bill which does NOT get brought to us. My husband had to get up and go find the waitress in order to pay the bill. One of the waiters actually commented "I've worked in worse places" and "Yeah its really bad eh" and started laughing when I asked him if he wanted me to crush my fries and make confetti out of it.
When your staff starts to laugh at where he works its time for a change. It's time to either hire more wait staff or more kitchen staff. It's not like it was an off night. This has happened every single time we go there regardless of the day of the week.
Tomorrow I will call Tripoli and let the owner know what I think of their establishment and their service as well as leaving negative reviews on any and all food forums I can find. This is ridiculous.
Mark my words, Tripoli will never get a dollar off of me. If you see me in there I give you the right to spit on me.
Now I'm sure we all know that celebrities and television personalities are paid large sums of money to endorse, wear, and promote clothes, shoes, drinks, cereals and whatnot but have you ever heard of a company paying someone NOT to wear their clothes?
I, for one, have never been a big fan of Abercrombie & Fitch. It's not readily available in Quebec but I was raised in Texas for a large portion of my life and guess what, I never bought their clothes, in fact I wouldn't even walk in their stores. I was just never attracted to it but I can guarantee you one thing though, if I WAS a fan of A&F this latest douchebag move of one of their executives would make me stop wearing it...Especially when he apparently didn't do his research. Guess what? Abercrombie & Fitch used to sell Jersey Shore t-shirts with their catch phrase G.T.L on it as well as other well known Jersey Shore sayings.
The head honcho's over at A&F thought that by the cast of the Jersey Shore wearing their brand that it was "causing significant damage to their brand" and that the show was "contrary to the aspirational nature of the brand". Hmmmm looks like being a douchebag bigwig caused more damage to the brand than the Situation, Sammi Sweetheart, Snooki or others could have ever caused it.
I think I might have understood their outrage if it was a huge expensive company that associated itself with class. Imagine Snooki going out to a guido bar all decked out in head to toe vintage Chanel? I could understand Chanel being upset and their reputation hurt by that. Chanel is NOT cheap, it is NOT found in your local mall next to the Gap. But even then, I'm sure that Chanel has enough class not to pay someone not to wear their clothes.
Later in the day MTV released a statement thinking that maybe this was just a publicity stunt to get A&F's name out there...looks like that failed badly. Do you know how huge a 9% fall is in one day? After the market and stock was already falling to shit?
So I guess I'll keep in line with not buying A&F clothes and just stick to my Michael Kors, Prada, Miss Sixty etc. Oh, don't forget tomorrow is Jersday!! Do you have your GTL shirt? I'll be sporting this t-shirt tomorrow.
In my last blog I wrote about how I had a bad experience with a business. When I hung up the phone on Friday I thought that was the end of that bad experience. I wrote in my blog about it and called it a day. I basically filed it away and figured nothing else would come of it.
I was wrong. I'm very rarely wrong but when I am I can admit it. This afternoon around 4:30pm my office phone rings. I pick up the phone without even glancing at the phone and give my usual greeting. I'm shocked to hear the voice on the other end, "Jenny, this is "stupid guy" from "stupid company" and I'm calling because..." His because would leave you floored.
This guy decided that he wanted money for doing mock ups for me. I'm sorry but what?! Yep. He explained to me that his company only provides free art work IF they get the job and that since we chose not to go with them we owe him $300.00. Excuse me? He didn't even do any art work. My graphic designer (God bless her, always working on last minute projects for me) created all the art work, all his team did was place it on a t-shirts DIGITALLY. Drag an already made logo to an already made t-shirt and arrange the logo on the shirt. Simple. Point and click. Okay, so maybe its not THAT simple but it most certainly is not 3 hours worth of work like he claimed.
I explained to him that i felt he was just doing this because he is angry that he did not get the job. When a company calls you to ask for a quote it is your job to give them an accurate description of what they will be getting. It is your job to give them what they ask for and if you don't "win" the bid you suck it up and consider the work you did to be a cost of business. It isn't like this guy designed an entire suite of products from scratch. I provided ALL the art work, it was all done for him!! I think what gets my goat the most is the fact that the ONLY reason he wants the money for pretend artwork is because we turned him down.
Not only that but during the phone conversation he mentions that he has our credit card information on file since we worked with them last year. What? Are you threatening me? Are you basically saying that you'll run our card number with or without my consent? At that point I told him that I was disappointed with his behaviour and that I do NOT authorize him to charge our card. That I have to speak to my boss about it and then I will call him back to let him know if he can charge the card or not. He goes on to say that he would rather speak with my boss directly since he is not pleased with the way that things turned out and doesn't think that my boss made a good decision as an executive and he feels as if I'm caught in the middle.
I'm not sure what I think is more insulting, the fact that he thinks I'm slow and don't understand how business works, the the president of a multi-million dollar company is stupid and makes bad decisions as an executive, or the fact that he thinks all of us are just going to sit there and take it. I mean seriously?
I told the guy thank you for his time and I'd be back with him shortly. I hung up and sent my boss an email explaining the situation and we now have preemptively contacted MasterCard in order make sure that this particular company doesn't charge our credit card.
Again I ask, what would you do if you were caught up in this situation? Would you lose your cool in a professional environment and tell this person where to shove it? Would you ignore the situation completely? -- I'm going to call my friend who referred me to this particular vendor and let him know that not only will I NOT do business with him but I would suggest that they stop giving him out as a recommendation. What an unprofessional person.
Today was what I'd call a rough day at work. I spent the majority of the day shooting off emails or calling people. The calls were rough. I had to inform a few companies that they lost bids to do work for us.
Let me give you a little insight. We are fast approaching trade show season in our industry. It's going to be a rough end of August through mid-October. Along with the everyday happening at work I have to plan tradeshows, make the price list for next year, put together the binder that includes the price list and product information, oh, and don't forget we are redoing a lot of packaging and launching new products. Yeah, I'm not going to be swamped AT ALL! But hey, that isn't the point of this post. The point is that we are in the midst of planning shows and we decided that we will be giving out t-shirts at some of these shows. The t-shirt will have our company name, the website, and the icons for twitter, facebook, and youtube.com (we've just recently gone into social media and launched a new website).
I called a company in Texas that does a large part of our printing of flyers, pamphlets etc. to see if they know anyone that prints t-shirts. While I was waiting for the referral to come via email I called the company that we use here in Montreal often for a quote. At the same time my boss asked me to ask our sales reps if they had a printing person that could get a good price. Let's be honest, the economy is pretty much crappy right now and we are all looking for the best price possible. I got the first bid in from the Montreal company and while I hit the forward button to show my boss I knew we wouldn't be using them. They were extremely over priced. Seriously. The referral from my friend in Texas came through and we discussed t-shirt brand, feel, print ideas etc. while I was waiting on his quote a quote came in from one of my sales reps contacts. I informed this guy that I was waiting for a quote from another company. He said he understood.
I felt overwhelmed but I knew one thing for sure. The Montreal company was out. The referral from Texas sent me mock ups via email but no pricing. He told me that he would stay in line with what we paid last year (I was off work for a year so I have no clue what it is). I told the company that my sales rep referred me to that although they have great prices and great mock ups I am still waiting on one more bid. He told me that he completely understood. A few minutes later I got another email from him asking for more details and he said "I'm confident that I'll be the price best and I'd like to be proactive while you wait for your final quote. Can I have the following information...."
My boss made the decision last night. He wanted to go with the company that my sales rep brought to us. He managed to get us higher quality shirts at a better price and he was located closer to come of our trade shows so the shipping price would be cheaper too. I called the guy this morning and finalized some details and gave him the green light. BUT before I could do that I got a call from the Montreal company asking if we made a decision. Unfortunately I couldn't bring myself to let her down. What I told her instead was that we were waiting for another quote. She said, "Wow, that hurt." I don't understand why that could hurt? Are we supposed to blindly just accept your pricing without looking at another company? Are we supposed to assume that you are the best priced company? I'm really sorry but over the 4 years I've worked at this company I've quickly realized that instead of being the cheapest it really is one of the highest priced companies when doing printed materials. I think it might have hurt because my boss didn't just say "Okay" instead we decided to shop around.
I then had to call the company that was referred to me by a friend. I started off all nice and friendly and brought myself to say, "I'm really sorry but we have decided to go with another company" and then the guy went off on me. He asked what the pricing difference was and if we were willing to kill a business relationship over a couple hundred dollars and how he didn't feel his company was given a fair chance. I told him that "You were higher priced on lower quality shirts, therefore I'd assume that you are going to be higher priced on the higher quality shirts too" and he kept on going in. I mentioned that the other companies price quote included 24 Adidas polo shirts as well and then he says "Yeah Adidas is just throwing free shirts at everyone these days. He must have a rejected load" Wow. Excuse me!? Can't you just shut your face and accept that we decided to go with another company? Then he said the thing that irked me the most, "I don't understand how an executive would choose to go with a completely new company when we have worked together and proved that we price well, work on short deadlines, and always deliver on time." I basically, very politely told him, "I'm sorry but last year we did take a chance on you and it worked out for us, we are hoping that this year the same thing happens."
I completely understand that a company can be disappointed when they were expecting to land a $6000 job but I did inform them that I was waiting on other bids. I told all the companies that we were waiting on other bids (except the Montreal company who came in right around $10,000). I was honest and remained professional. I don't see how the owner of a company can just bitch and moan to me about us not choosing them. I would even understand him making a comment like, "I'm really sorry/disappointed that this didn't work out, I was looking forward to working with you." I can understand him telling a business partner how he's disappointed or how he was banking on getting the job. I just don't find it was very professional of him to complain directly to a company that MIGHT have used him again in the future. I can promise you one thing though, as long as I am at the company we will NOT work with that particular company again.
So, would you ever complain directly to a customer or potential customer?
Have you ever met people that just can't get over themselves? They are so obsessed with thinking that you are obsessed with them meanwhile they haven't crossed your mind in ummmm ages? No this isn't a blog post about an ex-boyfriend that thinks I'm obsessed or hung up on him. This is about a person I barely know and barely cared for when I knew them.
Let me tell you a little story that goes way back. This goes back quite a few years but let's skip all the boring stuff and just get to the "good" part. My husband used to be friends with a guy we'll call B. B is married to someone we'll call G. G and I had a falling out of sorts. Basically, one day about 3 years ago I had gone out with friends and noticed a group of girls. This group was made up of 5 people, 4 of them were what I'd consider pretty. The 5th girl is what I would consider ugly, or if we are trying to be politically correct, she was not pretty. The pretty girls were all wearing jeans or leggings with a long sweater or tunic. The not so pretty girl was dressed like a whore. She was wearing a skin tight tiny dress with no leggings and "fuck me boots". I came home from being out and posted a status on Facebook about how in a group of girls there will always be the ugly girl who tries harder to "out sexy" the rest of the girls. Apparently G thought that my status was about her. I didn't know this around the same time I had posted my status G was "tagged" in a picture that was sort of the same. A group of girls, most pretty, one not, and the not pretty one lookin' like a ho. Let it be known that I AM NOT friends with any of G's friends on Facebook since I don't really like them. I didn't SEE this picture. Anyway, G was upset and thought that my post was about her. It wasn't. I said so. She didn't believe me and then told her husband and some mutual friends. Our friends were like, "I don't think it was about you, I mean, its a known thing, like every group has the token black friend they also have the token whore". She still choose to believe what she wanted to believe.
She sent me an email asking me about it and we exchanged a few emails back and forth and her husband even called me to tell me his opinion. We basically ended it as we can't be friends. There was a lot of "he said/she said" crap and if we are being honest, which I am, I never really liked G in the first place. I just tolerated her because my friend (at the time) was dating her then married to her.
Over the past three years we have crossed paths due to being invited to the same functions but I never spoke to them. I didn't even give them so much as a hi. My husband on the other hand would speak to B & G when he'd see them out and about. That is great. I told him I didn't care if eh even hung out with them my own rule was that they couldn't come into my house.
Well now, 3 whole years later somehow my name gets brought up into a mess that G has found herself in. Unfortunately the details of what happened won't be written here because its NOT my story to tell. The basic jist of it was that G received an anonymous email telling her stuff. When she got the email she was very upset and decided to call a friend to talk to them about it. During that conversation with her friend she said, "the only person who hates me enough to do this to me is Jenny." I'm very happy to know that the friend defended me and said, "She hasn't shown you a sign of life in 3 years, why would she pop out of the woodwork and send you an email after all this time." Let me explain something to you, what the email said, was something I already knew. I knew 3 years ago. I said nothing 3 years ago. Why would I pop so many years later and say something I didn't say when I actually SPOKE to you?
I had decided not to address the issue any further. I was going to let sleeping dogs lie. Even if I wanted to there was nothing I could do. I don't have her phone number, her email address, or any contact information. When I decide to cut someone out of my life, I completely delete them from my life. Then I got on my blog yesterday and checked some statistics. I saw that someone from her work was logged onto my blog for 2 hours. There were like 30 page views. I don't know if she was scanning my blog to see if there was any reference of her on it or if maybe she trying to compare my writing to her anonymous email or whatever. But the point is that she was on my blog for 2 freaking hours because she believes that after 3 years, I decided to email her. Well here is me putting it out, on my blog, for all to see.
Hey Georgia, I didn't email you okay? You can stop stalking my blog, you can stop thinking you are on my mind. Have a nice life okay?
Have you ever had a day that you thought you were the most horrible parent? Maybe you thought you had the most horrible kid? Things just weren't going right no matter how hard you tried. That has been my past two days with D. She has been a terror and nothing is wrong with her.
Like, no fever, no pain, no new teeth. I just can't figure it out. It is like she woke up on the wrong side of the bed for the past two days. From the moment she woke up and I went to pick her up it was screaming/crying. She screamed during the diaper change and getting dressed, she screamed as her dad carried her down the stairs, she cried while we attempted to feed her breakfast. She cried in the car while going to daycare. She probably cried the entire time she was there too but with my luck she was a great child at daycare saving her energy only to make my life hell.
Today I came home from work and everything seemed okay. She was playful and laughing and that lasted for about 15 minutes. From then on it was full out crying (unless she was eating a popicle and I ain't gonna lie, I let her have 3 of them just to have some peace and quiet!). Yesterday while driving to my sister's house I asked George to just pull over so that I could jump in the river. Yeah, that bad.
It's not like I can't handle a crying baby. I get that babies cry, I get that toddlers cry, I get the kids in general can and will cry. I just don't understand WHY she has been moody like that. There is no "logical" reason why she should be crying and that is what gets to me. It makes my head hurt, my skin crawl, and it takes every ounce of willpower to not just flip out.
I feel like she is crying because I did something to her. Yesterday when George and I left she was a pleasant little human for the babysitter. She was all smiles and playful. When I got home it was game on. Cry cry cry. Today when George picked her up she was excellent until I got home. Is she being a pest with me because she knows it gets under my skin? Is she a pest with me because she is mad that I don't give in to her everything? EVERYONE in my family will do whatever D wants in order to keep her quiet. Oh she wants Cheetos instead of apples. Okay. Oh she wants to bang on the keyboard on the computer. Okay. Oh she wants to slap your face because its fun? Okay. Oh she wants up...no down...no up...no down..Okay. I can't do that. I can not allow a 17 month old child to run my house. I can't let her start these bad habits can i?
So people, I'm asking you. How do you handle a toddler who is just....out of control?
Wow. I think I've blogged 3 times this week depending on if you think the week starts on Sunday or not. I'm a Monday to Monday type of girl therefore I have blogged 3 times in one week. Anyway....
So last night I had some girlfriends over (what else is new) and we were just talking and shooting the shit. One of my friends goes to me, "Dude, is your father in law over every single Saturday" to which I replied, "Don't get me started on this please...and if its not on a Saturday its on the Sunday." My friend looked at me as if she was scared. Seriously, how many people actually have their inlaws at their house EVERY SINGLE FREAKING weekend? A little while later another friend came over and as we were sitting in the backyard enjoying an iced coffee and talking about everything under the sun (ie, people we dont really like) the other girl goes, "Your father in law is here again right?! And he was here last Saturday too.....and....was he over the Saturday before that?" The friend who asked me earlier basically answered for me, "Dude, don't get her started."
This morning I wake up and as I'm feeding the baby, making my coffee, and unloading the dishwasher I tell my husband what transpired. He was like "well what the heck is that supposed to mean. Does he honestly bother you that much Jenny." I told him that while no his father doesn't bother me in the sense that he gets in my way it DOES in fact bother me that every weekend my plans have to be either in the morning or in the evening because his dad will be here in the afternoon. We basically have to plan our day around a trip to Montreal and back... There is no being spontaneous, there is no day long trips to the zoo, the park, a picnic, or a trip to the US.Yesterday my father in law came over to my house and spent about 2 hours in the backyard by himself. Wait what? Why complain that you are alone all week long and when we bring you up to our house you spend time alone anyway!? Makes no freaking sense to me but I have learned that my weekend has to revolve around my father in law because....
My brother in law and his wife are fucking useless. Yes, I did just say that. I said that on the world wide interweb so that everyone can know! When it comes to my father in law, my brother in law doesn't give a flying fuck, my sister in law doesn't give a flying fuck either. I mean why should they? My husband and I are the idiots who have allowed ourselves to be walked all over by his brother and wife. Wait, let me rephrase that. My husband has allowed US to be walked all over. Why? He's a bleeding heart and on one hand I can totally understand it. He feels bad for his dad. It sucks that he is alone all week long because we all work and are busy. But why is my husband the only one who cares? I don't give a damn if my brother in law moved out of his parents house when he was only 23 years old. Does that mean he loves his parents less? I mean, my sister and I both left Texas when we were 18 and I don't think it means we love our parents less than someone else who lived at home until they were 32 or whatever. If you FEEL for your parents and you LOVE your parents you will do whatever you can to make them comfortable in their old age and to SHOW that love.
I've spoken to my husband many times how I don't think its fair that we are the only ones who have our lives interrupted by my father in law. I've spoken to my sister in law many times about I'm beyond frustrated because I have my father in law all the time. We had come up with a plan. Every other weekend. We'd bring the father in law up one weekend and get a break the next weekend because he'd be at my brother in laws house. I think that plan lasted all of 3 weeks. I mean of course, my brother in law was very busy golfing, then looking for ideas of a resto to open, then he found one and of course it needed to be updated, then open, and now operated. My sister in law couldn't be bothered because, well, she has a weekly hair appointment, she wants to go see her friends, she wants to live HER life. Jeez, I wonder what that is like. To live my own life without giving a fuck about other people?
What I don't understand is do they not see how selfish and self centered they are? My mother in law died a few months after hubby and I married. It was hard on him because he was very close to his mother. All of a sudden I inherited a father in law. Every single weekend. My brother in law never offered to bring his dad up, my sister in law never offered to take her father in law out for lunch or something. They never offered us a weekend off. We were newly married and had a thorn in our sides from the get go. Hubby's dad was over every single weekend. We had to go out of town to be able to get a weekend away from the father in law and of course while we were gone his brother and sister in law never offered to step up and bring the dad anywhere.
Then I got pregnant and didn't even get to enjoy being home on bed rest in nothing but a bra and underwear because well, my father in law was over every single weekend. My brother in law and his wife never offered to step up and help out so we can just enjoy the moment.
Then I had my daughter. Do you think I got to enjoy being a new mom? Do you think I got to enjoy my new little family? NO of course not. Why? Because I had my father in law over here every single god damn mother fucking weekend! (Yes that did require so many curse words). There are no intimate little family outings, there is no enjoying just us. I work Monday thru Friday. I come home and play with baby, feed baby, put baby to sleep. The weekend is where I'd like to do things with my husband and daughter but I can't. Why not? Because I have the father in law. I always have the father in law. Of course now he wants to be here more often because he wants to see the baby. He wants to enjoy her, he wants to experience her.
I've spoken to my sister in law about this before. I told her woman to woman that eventually my father in law was going drive a wedge between my husband and I. I am not the type of person to sit by and idly watch my life pass me by. I AM the type of person who will throw the towel in, pack my stuff and my baby's stuff and go back home. To Texas. I will one day leave my husband whom I love dearly because I cannot have my father in law here every weekend. It's not that my father in law gets in my way its just that...well...simply put...I don't NEED someone here every weekend. I want my OWN little family. I don't need an extension on a weekly basis. My sister in law doesn't accept any of the blame, instead she tells me that it is my husband's fault for allowing his dad over every weekend.
You know what? Because I am a logical person, I do understand how that can be. It is partially hubby's fault. He doesn't put his foot down and he feels bad telling his dad that he is busy. BUT he feels bad because he knows that his brother and his wife will NOT step up and bring the father in law up to Laval for a few hours or take him out to lunch/dinner. Hubby doesn't want to KNOW that his dad is alone and lonely and bitching and moaning (because if we are being honest if hubby doesn't bring him up he bitches and moans and complains and says no one cares for him).
I've asked my husband many times to talk to his side of the family about helping out with his dad. He always tells me "Jen just let it get to the point I want it to...I will handle it" Sorry honey but your method of handling it only gets me more frustrated, more angry, and to the point that I want to wrangle up every member of your family and give them a bitch slap with my beautiful Prada boots. When my sister in law comes back from her month long vacation to the condo that my father in law paid for and wasn't invited to go to..... I told my husband I want a family meeting and I will do the talking. I told my husband not to pull the typical "Greek manly" thing and tell the wife not to talk because I will talk. I will speak and I will be heard. He asked me, "Jen you can talk all you want but please be respectful". I told him I plan on being respectful but to the point. My speech will basically end with, "How come people who come over randomly are able to notice that the father in law is here every single weekend but you don't? Oh that is right, you are selfish and see it but don't give a damn."
I'm not joking when I say this but my in-laws lack of caring and helping will ultimately be the only reason my marriage will fail. I did not get married and sign up for inheriting a live in father in-law. I don't care if its weekends only, its the ONLY time I have to enjoy my family and I don't get to enjoy them because I have HIM all the time.
While I don't hate my brother in law and his wife I have absolutely no respect for them.
I want to kick myself in the ass. Seriously. Maybe if one of you would like to come up here and kick me in the ass, or to make your life easier, my husband has already volunteered to kick me in the ass. For the past two Bloghers I've been like "Can you STFU already about it" or "What the crap is so special about it" and other things of the sort. This year I actually read a few blogs about Blogher, I've spoken to a lot of people that were attending or had attended in past years and I decided it would be a great opportunity to go.
I am not delusional and think that my trip will be sponsored by anyone other than my darling husband and myself. Yeah, we'll sponsor me all the way. :) Hey, if someone wants to sponsor my blog without asking me to be nicer or whatever than more power to them.
Anyway, yesterday morning I was talking to my husband about Blogher and how it was in San Diego this year and how I'd like to go to one if it ever came back to the East Coast. Later on in the day it was announced that BlogHer12 was going to be in New York City! I was so excited. I spoke to my husband and gave him a run down on the costs of going (I sort of over estimated, I thought tickets just to the conference were like 500-600$ but it turns out its closer to 200-300$), a hotel for 3 or 4 nights, a flight, and of course cab money. I figured out at least 2 roommates for sure and the third is still up in the air.
There are so many interesting bloggers that I can't wait to meet, can't wait to hug, and yes, I'm sure there will be a few I'd like to spit on or accidentally spill a drink on but hey...at least I'm honest right? We can't like EVERYONE!
Are you going to blogher12? Could you care less? Have you gone to a past blog her and did you like it? Hate it?
First of all, I want to say sorry for just dropping off the face of the earth. It really does feel like there isn't enough time in each day to do everything that I say I would like to do. I make a list of things I want to blog about and sort of just don't get to it by the time I have some "me" time. After I put D to bed I just want to unwind by reading a book, watching tv, writing or just vegging out. I hate that I put my blog last but sometimes relaxing my brain is the most important thing. :)
That being said I want to let you guys know about this conversation I had with my sister in law that completely blew my mind. Actually, it fucking completely blew my mind. It was THAT mind blowing. Now if you have been following this blog for a while you probably already know that my sister and I do NOT see eye to eye when it comes to parenting and raising children. Seriously its like night and day, hot and cold, sane and insane. I tend to think that I am more on the sane side of things while my sister in law is on the insane side. Why?
Well my sister in law is now in Florida and we had this conversation on Thursday of last week. It kinda came up with, "So are you guys ready for Florida" and her reply was "Yeah most of us are ready." "Oh, who isn't ready yet?" She went on to mention how her sister had booked the tickets out of the wrong airport and that her son's girlfriend would be joining them.
Now I'm really sorry, call me old fashioned, call me stupid, call me whatever in the hell you want to call me but bringing your 16 year old son's 15 or 16 year old girlfriend on vacation with you to another country is just insane. It's really really fucking stupid if you ask me. I mean, taking a girlfriend on a vacation is a huge responsibility, especially taking a girlfriend on vacation in another country. I still find it incredible that the girlfriends parents ALLOWED her to go on vacation with her boyfriend.
Then what floored me was this comment from my sister in law: "Well I'm not really happy about it but my son and his cousins wanted her to come." Um excuse me are we seriously allowing a 16 year old BOY and his cousins that don't even live in the house to make decisions in your house? Is this for real?
I spent the following hour telling my sister in law that I thought she was insane, that although I like the girlfriend I do not think that it is appropriate for a girlfriend or boyfriend to go on vacation with the family at that age. It's like throwing them a box of condoms and saying "Yeah, uh, I'll pretend to not know what is happening okay?"
I have a feeling that one day issues that we see on Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant will be a lot more than just on TV for people who believe this is "ok" and "normal".
So how many of you have taken or would consider taking your child's boyfriend/girlfriend on vacation.